The Accidental Philosopher

Another gooboi that my son recently encountered on his FedEx route. #dogs

Papa vs. 19-month-old: 2 hours, 1 snack, 0 casualties … except maybe my sanity. 🤪 Full Call of Duty-style babysitting mission. Paywalled, because heroics deserve a little exclusivity. #GrandparentLife #toddlertime medium.com/p/336098e5b35c

Apparently even love is woke now. Amazing what counts as offensive these days. #badbunny #superbowl #turningpointusa

Antisemitic ad followed by talking toilets. So American. #SuperBowl

Who can relate? www.instagram.com/reels/DUJIbF... #exercise #dogs #gym

Do you think Kid Rock will bring extra teeth to the #TurningPointUSA halftime show so the audience can eat their pork rinds?

My son’s rural FedEx routes come with some great perks — like meeting this adorable pit bull puppy yesterday. 🐶 Look at that face… 100% derpy gooboi energy. #dogsofbluesky

Why we’re NOT getting another dog—10 brutally honest reasons—despite the love & laughs they've given us over the years. The piece is paywalled, but if you’ve ever loved a dog, it’s worth it: 👇 👇 👇 medium.com/crows-feet/w... #Dogs #LifeLessons

Well, well, well…

This guy ain’t lyin’. We don’t do snow in the South. Or, at least, we do it poorly. Snow❄️☃️🌨️ www.instagram.com/reel/DT2qVw0...

I don't envy you guys living up north. This Texas boy is ready to get out of the house and drive on a road without ice.

Watched #OperationMincemeat tonight by firelight. Take that, 18° temps! (Good flick, btw. The Nazis get whipped at Sicily). 👍

#Texas winters like these are beautiful for about 10 minutes… Then we remember we don’t own snow shovels, rock salt, or common sense on icy roads.

This isn’t satire. This guy is using a dead man for a political endorsement. #politics #charliekirk Weekend at Bernies, campaign style.

#Texas is going to have an "icepocalypse" this weekend with sleet, subzero wind chills, the works. This is what our grocery stores look like right now, because apparently we have to stockpile toilet paper & beer like we're prepping for a nuclear winter.

🎉 Big news! Well, kinda. I just won Doctor Funny’s Deep Shit Comedy Award for "A Whole Latte Love"-- the continuing story of how Alex is trying to find the meaning of life. #humor #comedy #philosophy #writer Join the fun if you want to tunnel through a minor paywall: medium.com/doctor-funny...

Our daughter told us this true story: Our 7-yr-old granddaughter reads a Hooters sign for the first time. “Mom, what’s Hooters?” Our grandson’s quick reply: “Oh. It’s probably where they sell owl food.” Saved by a 4-year-old.

Last year, I read "King: A Life" by Jonathan Eig. #MLK was a complicated man. He faced dark seasons of depression and fell to moral failures, yet found the courage to confront injustice & violent racism head-on. A sobering reminder for those who find it easier to criticize from the sidelines.

Tried a new #karaoke spot last night. Craft-beer drinkers in the audience, all younger than me. I grabbed the mic, nervous inside, confident outside. I went full Sinatra and braced for polite silence. Instead: applause and a compliment. Moral of the story: old dudes aren’t obsolete. Just analog.

Hello, Beautiful Blueskyers. I promised a free story this time, so here it is. 💛 I share what it’s like to live with the monkey of anxiety on your back and how I’m going to peel him off, one finger at a time. Read it here: medium.com/p/8f6540fb68f3 #MentalHealth #Anxiety #youarenotalone

#DryJanuary update: I’ve survived two karaoke bars w/o touching a drop of booze. Yes, I sang, but I stuck to Coke Zeros and NA beer. If you’re on this ride with me—keep going! And if you've fallen off the wagon…you can hop back on anytime. Here's to finishing the month strong & happy! 🥂🚫

A bit gusty in my neck of the woods today. Winds are doing a drive-by on every leaf and birdseed kernel in the 'hood. My smart feeder keeps pinging me every five seconds like it’s hosting a non-stop avian rave … but the birds? Ghosted.

It’s been 60 years since Adam West became #Batman. Ten-year-old me thought it was epic. Adult me watches the reruns and laughs at the jokes I completely missed. Like the time he wandered into a discotheque in full costume and told a waiter, “I’ll stand at the bar. I don’t wish to attract attention.”

Little known fact: there was a planned sequel to “Let This Be Your Last Battlefield.” Lokai’s dog, pictured here, would have shown up to continue the feud—only to be very confused why everyone kept arguing instead of throwing the ball. #startrek

I met the Savior. Well…in a private message at 2:41 a.m. He claims to bring world peace, stop “pleages,” and usher in the kingdom. He also needs a car. My piece is paywalled on #Medium. Consider it a small offering for a few laughs. Next one’s free. Probably. 🚗🙏📬 medium.com/pitfall/need...

We interrupt your #doomscrolling to remind you that joy & beauty still exist, as confirmed by my backyard bird cam. #cardinal #birdwatching #nature

My wife and I went to a fancy #seafood restaurant last night. I ordered chicken. I wondered if a lobster somewhere felt personally rejected.

Guess I should take down my Christmas decorations. I had a little holiday joy before ICE killed an unarmed woman, Trump grabbed Venezuelan oil revenues, and federal agents scared the shit out of students raiding their school grounds.

Bet y’all could use a pic of my grand dog right now. #dogsofbluesky #weratedogs #happygoober

Maybe it’s the #orca version of a party hat?

I once was a Greek god with perfect blood pressure. No mas. Here's my new essay on aging, meds, and discovering I am not, in fact, indestructible. Paywalled on Medium, but worth it if it nudges you or a loved one to check your BP. #health #gettingolder #humor medium.com/crows-feet/f...

After a heart cath revealing minimal blockage, what better way to celebrate than eating artery-clogging Tex-Mex? It’s #TacoTuesday, y’all!

Tomorrow I get my very first heart cath. That’s the downside. The upside? Midazolam, fentanyl, and other assorted drugs. 😵‍💫

#DryJanuary begins. Raising an invisible glass to anyone else in Bluesky land doing this with me.

'Bout time...

You go, Jan! #bradybunch

My New Year’s night: dinner, putting up a few more Christmas bins, in bed by 10.  Just another chapter in my wildly reckless lifestyle. #livingontheedge #newyearsevewildside

On December 31, the human race falls under the same mass delusion: if we do one weird-ass thing at the stroke of midnight, the universe will grant us a better year. #newyear #freshstart #resolutions medium.com/the-springbo...

At this point in my life, this counts as cheap thrills. #birds #birdwatching #oldmanfun medium.com/another-fuck...

This meme gets me. #christmas #whatdayisit

I mean if you're gonna go big.... #Texas #brisket

My #granddog still has the Christmas spirit! #dogsofbluesky #weratedogs #christmas

OooOoOooooh, Ralphie fighting Klingons instead of Black Bart! #achristmasstory #startrek #youllshootyoureyeout

Tonight, a proper #Texas Christmas Eve meal: pinto beans, guacamole, and tamales (spicy and mild, with Wolf Brand Chili to spoon on top if that's your heart's desire). #tamales #food #letseat A dinner fit for the Baby Jesus!

If you'd like a dab of cynicism in your #Christmas coffee this morning... #carols #music #holidays medium.com/another-fuck...

Twilight vibes. #evening #ducklife #sunset