Alan Gordon Partridge

And that was Britain's King of Rock & Roll - Cliff Richard with The Millennium Prayer. Something im sure Cliff did a lot of after his house was raided by Police in 2014. Thankfully his hard-drives were found to be squeaky clean, except for a few racy pictures of Sue Barker in her Wimbledon hey day.

Idea for a TV show. Gregg's Greggs, featuring disgraced ex-BBC presenter Gregg Wallace visiting Greggs bakeries across the UK, with his trousers on this time.

That was Genesis with- I can't Dance - An absolute killer track to blast through the speakers of a Rover 800 while maintaining a steady 69 mph on the A14. Lynn, if you're reading this, add it to the 'Driving Anthems' mixtape, right between 'The Dark Side of the Moon' and the theme from Casualty.

Woke up to find my own garden has not been spared from the carnage of storm Boelo. But along with the rest of Norfolk, I refuse to be defeated by a strong wind. We shall rebuild💪 #stormboelo #uk

A picture to melt the coldest of hearts- & I do include ex-DJ & recovering alcoholic Dave Clifton in that. The residents of Death View Villas care home in Grt Snoring, seen here rocking out to Elvis tribute act, Keith Pratt. Sadly one resident did die shortly after the picture was taken. RIP Doris

Many would look at this & see a vulnerable pensioner being guided toward a significant financial withdrawal. I see the kindness of a young woman ensuring that this man’s hard-earned British sterling is safely converted into Thai Baht without him accidentally pressing Cancel or forgetting his PIN.

Raye? Never heard of her, but apparently she beat Paul McCartney at last night's Mercury award. Which goes to prove people will do anything to appear controversial. Bit like those who try to say a Jaguar F-Pace is superior to a Lexus NX450 with a cream leather interior and optional sun roof #mercury

This is Tex-he likes American things like DrPepper, Disney & big trucks. He calls a fridge a cooler & a motorway a highway. He tried to pursued a petrol station attendant -Michael- who I befriended out of pity, to join him driving Route66. Why? When you can do the M25 clockwise and anti clockwise.

How do people jump to conclusions that this lady is racist, purely because she votes Reform Ltd? Maybe she supports them for other reasons such as: Privatisation of the NHS Repealing the employment rights act. Scrapping equality law. Scrapping environmental laws. Tax breaks for billionaires. #reform

Tonight on Norfolk nights, we will be discussing - Bond, and who is your favourite Bond. For me it can only be Mr Bond himself Sean Connery. Let me know who your favourite Bond is by calling the show - please...

Great move by Norwich Cathedral, to attract the acid-house, pill popping young people of Norwich away from illegal raves, which are the blight of many Norfolk farmers. Instead they can sit in the pews, look up to the heavens & experience a psychedelic trip without the LSD so loved by 60s pop stars.

Chap just used the urinals at A11 Thetford East services, zipped up & walked out without washing his hands. He then handled a bag of Minstrels before putting them back! God knows what bacteria is now on those sweets. Absolute scum. Hygiene standard: zero. Do not buy chocolates from the shop there.

I had a deranged fan called Jed Maxwell, who had a picture of myself tattooed on his chest. He also stalked me for many months taking photos of me without my knowledge with a telephoto lense a member of the paparazzi would be proud of.

Vintage Netto bag. Kwik Save, That’s not just a receptacle for your eggs; that’s social history. Kept a collection of high-density polyethylene sacks in the Rover,but Lynn threw them out saying they "smelled of damp." Needless to say, she lacked vision. This lady has vision. Next stop, Dragon's Den.

Good Morning Norfolk! Alan Partridge & Sidekick Simon here. Today: boiled sweets. Simon loves Pear Drops as they 'taste like nail varnish remover-worryingly specific. Personally, I'm a Barley Sugar man. Elegant, functional, doesn't leave your tongue looking like a crime scene. What's your favorite?

DJ Dave Clifton loves the crime book Bad Slags, about East-End thugs who break teeth with toffee hammers & wire genitals to the national grid. The 'King of Villainy' Freddie Foreman passed away this week, so this next track is a tribute to Freddie. Here's The Clash with - I Fought the Law.

We're discussing things you don't see anymore. Sidekick Simon suggested the Robin Reliant, a 3 wheeled car, favoured by the Trotters in Only Fools & Horses, so I suggested the Invacar, again a 3 wheeled vehicle favoured by the disabled & seen at the sides of football pitches in the 70s.

Goodmorning Norfolk - you're listening to me Alan Partridge & Side Kick Simon. Today we are talking Keith's and who is your favourite Keith? Is it Chegwin - Moon- Richards or pint sized fake Scottish Poo Doctor Gillian McKeith? Do call in and let us know...Next up we have Toto and Africa: #aha

That was @carolekingofficial.bsky.social with 'I Feel the Earth Move'. Frankly, Carole, if you can feel the earth move it's probably a localized seismic event, & instead of singing about it you should immediately Drop, Cover, & Hold On. Thats official FEMA advice, & shouldn't be ignored - Next Enya

I was honoured to be a guest at Les and Amanda's wedding, sadly within a few years she was shagging Neil Morrissey, and Les was talking to chickens.

Dave from Wroxham has emailed with a personal attack on me & my choice of eggs cooked-He says "Alan you're an uncultured moron to prefer white bread & ketchup, over sourdough & HP Brown sauce". He then attacks my choice of car. Well Dave the Clifton suspension bridge was built for people like you

Today we are discussing eggs, & which is the best way to cook them? - is it fried, scrambled, boiled or poached: Keith in Horning says - fried on a lightly toasted sourdough bread,& covered in HP brown sauce. Have to disagree with you on this Keith, for me it has to be white bread & tomato ketchup.

Don't you dare, and I repeat - Don't you dare try stealing Monkey Tennis or Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank. Those are mine, and Lyn my personal assistant still has the dictaphone mini tapes on file.

That was the UKs Elvis - Cliff Richard or Harry Webb, singing We don't talk anymore - a song where he claims to not be counting sheep. Which is sensible, as herding livestock in a bedroom to aid sleep would be loud, counterproductive, and incredibly messy. You are listening to North Norfolk Digital.

The cat that got the cream - a thorn between two roses. Yours truly back in the 1980s with the multi talented Bonnie Langford and Pamela Stephenson - Aha.. #80s

Today we are asking-who is the hardest ? Bomber-Auf Weidersehen Pet. Terry-Minder. Yosser-Boys from the Black Stuff. Regan-The Sweeney. I met Pat Roach who played Bomber in 1987 at a charity event in Devizes, we were asked to judge a wet T-Shirt competition. Lovely bloke, arms like tree trunks.

This could also be attributed to County Hall in Norwich—or as I like to call it, the Kremlin of the Broads. These desktop dictators, fueled by Earl Grey and low-fat organic yogurts, have officially declared a hot war on the motorists of Norfolk.

And that was Bill Withers, who sadly is no longer with us...But if he was I'm sure he would now want to rename the title of his 1971 hit pop tune - Ain't No Sunshine - to something more accurate given the recent record breaking temperatures. #heatwave #alanpartridge #norfolk #pop #norwich #radio

Late 1970s, & Norwich was a hotbed of the East Anglia Disco scene. I was resident DJ at Scamps nightclub, where I would play the latest Disco sounds of The Dooleys, Boney M, Baccara, The Bee Gees, to a heaving, sweating gyrating dance floor of young people, into the early hrs #Disco #1970s #dance

Tonight on Norfolk Nights we have a true giant of local infrastructure: Keith Long. He invented the specific density of gravel used for the A140 bypass near Long Stratton. He’ll be answering your questions live on air. But first we have Enya & Orinoco Flow, a song that isnt actually about a Womble.

A blast from my A-list past: Here I am between showbiz legends Brucie & Jim "nick nick" Davidson. Jim had me & Brucie in stitches with his hilarious Chalky White West Indian character. Do it today Jim, & you'll be cancelled and piled on before you can say "Nice to see you, to see you, sacked." #bbc

Watched a documentary on the Roman Empire. Fascinating, but too much focus on emperors and betrayal. Not enough on road-building logistics or the aggregate used for the top layer. Still, they could teach Norfolk County Council a thing or two about the A140 bypass. I give it 4 out of 10.

Congratulations to Wakefield Trinity Rugby League Club, who yesterday beat another club in something called the Grand Final. Rather inaccurate name because: A) It's in Manchester so cannot be Grand. B) It isn't final; these games happen every year & have done for over 2 decades. Text book nonsense.

The bitter bastards guilty of this wanton vandalism, should be thrown into a rat infested prison cell, and have Ed Sheeran played at maximum volume on a loop. #crime

Rugby League Grand Final today: Wakefield v Warrington. Two teams from "Oop North." I don’t have a dog in this fight, but I hear Warrington cheated their way here after a player went down like a Premier League fairy to win a penalty. Unacceptable. Cheats shouldn't prosper. So team Wakefield today.

Hearing a lot about traitors this morning. The biggest traitor I've known? Tony Hayers, BBC Commissioning Editor. The man refused me a second series despite favourable viewing figures for other shows on at a similar time. Needless to say, I had the last laugh after he fell from his roof and died.

I was reminded earlier of a Geordie hotel worker whom I became quite friendly with out of pity. Michael had a deprived upbringing, joined the army upon leaving school, had encounters with ladyboys, thieving monkeys & learnt to kill people. He now works in a Portuguese bar helping locals get drunk.

You're listening to Norfolk Nights with me Alan Partridge joined by Sidekick Simon. Tonight we are discussing the death penalty & how it should be administered if it was reintroduced - Sandra from Blakeney emailed in with just one word - Drowning. .Next up - This is U2 and Sunday Bloody Sunday....

I have to apologise for my earlier post featuring this chap. Lyn informs me his tattoo actually says "Stop the Boats", so it seems he's supporter of midget racists Danny Tommo & Mr Yaxley-Lennon. Anyway I cant agree becauae frankly stopping the boats would wreck the economy of the Norfolk Broads.

I have to disagree with this young chaps "Stop the Boots" tattoo: Whether its hiking in the Scottish Highlands or dog walking through muddy fields, boots are essential footwear. I mean imagine if the British Army had issued sandals in 1939, we would all be speaking German now. #immigration #reform

That was The Police—or as they're known today, simply: Sting—with Walking on the Moon. A fine song, but technically inaccurate. Due to low gravity, you actually bounce along in a weighted suit. Something I'd expect Sting to have known as an ex-teacher. Still nice song - next up, its The Dooleys:

Hearing chatter about Man City’s financial shenanigans. No one likes a cheat. Whether it’s inflating sponsorships or copying answers during a 1996 driving theory test. Play by the rules or don't play at all. Needless to say, expect the spineless premier league to do very little #ManCity #mcfc

Pasty-faced Suffolk pop-pest Ed Sheeran is finding out that when you fall from grace in Norfolk, you fall hard. Locals hate his loyalty to Ipswich, but his assembly-line, aggressively beige, derivative audio-sludge was always reason enough to dislike him #EdSheeran #Canaries #RadioNorwich #Palestine

And that was Enya with Orinoco Flow, a song in which she sings endlessly about sailing away to various places, some of which frankly I would wish to avoid - still nice song... #Goodmorning #norwich

Today we ask-Who's front door is this? I can tell you that it doesnt belong to spikey haired songstress Annie Lennox as suggested by a listener from Spixworth, who got quite upset when I told her it wasn't - I actually think she had problems, but we won't talk about that now - this is Wings and Jet

Coming up on Norfolk Nights we have a very special guest; Some call her the Rolls Royce of middle aged women, Its Anthea Turner, a woman who let's be fair, looks phenomenal for 66. Truly defying the years. Unlike Dave Clifton, who looks like a melted candle - But first, its Toyah with Its a Mystery.

Whenever one stays at a Travel Tavern, I always expect to be met at the end of the corridor by identical girl twins in frilly blue dresses. #theshining #hotels

Its nearly 8.30am, and you're listening to - Up with the Partridge. Coming up next we have special guest Martin Clout, The son of the man who successfully pressure-washed the first-ever motorway service station -Blue Boar Watford Gap- in 1968...But first we have Shakin Stevens and Green Door.

Poached eggs on sourdough bread, £14.50!! I wont name the Norwich establishment guilty of what I can only describe as Breakfast robbery. But what I will say for this price I expect the hen that laid them to have the ability to talk & brought to my table to justify the extortionate price. #morning

What we need is a great big melting pot: #racism