The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Dear America, if you want a functioning Congress that can hold a corrupt President to account, then you have to vote for one. There is no other way.

In classic card games like Bridge, Whist and 500, a "trump" is a card that wins despite being grossly under-qualified, because it happens to have the right suit.

Fate pointing down while Zeus takes aim. Fate: Get *that* one, with the makeup and the ridiculous hair. Zeus:<flash> Fate: No, not Dolly, you idiot! That cartoonish guy. The one from Home Alone 2. Zeus:<flash> Fate: Oh FFS.

Whenever all us deities got together to talk, we would talk about America. So, is America cooked?, the other gods would ask. Should we let it just slide into the ocean now? And I would say No! We can't let it fall... because Dolly is there!

People think I'm in sync with my girlfriend because she's always completing my sentences, but that's just how large language models work.

For those nitwits complaining about casting a beautiful black woman in a fantasy movie, this exact same racist shit went on for black actors in Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, The Little Mermaid, Batman, Thor, Spider Man, etc. It's not original, it's just boring.

The Knicks won an unbelievable 13 playoffs games in a row, but as soon as Trump turns up to a match they lose. All he has to do is show up and he gets his loser stink on everything. #ETTD

My cat just brought in a still alive mouse and put it at my feet. Never before have I felt so shamed and called out about my pathetic hunting skills.

Chuck Norris doesn't die, he just leaves the simulation. apnews.com/article/chuc...

Beware, the ides of March!

The world gave the Bush administration the benefit of the doubt in 2003, at unimaginable cost. The Trump regime deserves no benefit of the doubt. In fact, there is no doubt at all. This is an unjustified war.

Remember folks, don't go on a date with someone until you've searched how many times they appear in the Epstein files!

The only way to get a bigger audience for the Melania movie is to reduce the ticket price by 900, 1200 or even 1500 percent.

Anyone else find this extremely weird... ?

You know I've always known, intellectually, about the blood-lust of the angry mob. But only recently have I really begun to understand that visceral feeling of incandescent rage that leads to peasants tearing down the castle walls, overwhelming the aristocracy, and cutting their fucking heads off.

Just now learning about photographer Christopher Anderson's work because of the Vanity Fair article. The man is a true artist.

Americans have a right to know where Dick Cheney is being buried, so they can all stop by his grave and "pay their respects".

It doesn't matter how big Mamdani's victory is in the election - I'm still going to be disappointed because Cuomo will inevitably get more than zero votes.

Well, time to cancel my Disney+ subscription, I guess.

Might be controversial, but I feel like it's reply guys that are doing communication correctly. Someone says something, and you respond, like in a conversation. Standing in public, loudly proclaiming something, and then waiting to see how many people agree with you, well, that's weird behaviour.

People always said Melania Trump was originally in America on an Einstein visa, but I think that was just a spelling mistake. #Epstein

This just in: Andrew Cuomo has endorsed Andrew Cuomo.

The conclave: I know, let's elect an American! That country has been doing really well, lately.

How long do you think it will be before Trump changes the name of the English language to "American"?

You know America, even if you do come to your senses and get rid of this current monstrosity, the world is never going to trust you again. When someone has a psychotic episode, loses their shit and screws you over, all the shared history in the world won't make you do deals with them again.

So the Tesla Cybertruck is so difficult to open that people have burned to death because they were trapped inside, but also so flimsy that you can literally pull one apart with your bare hands. It feels like this episode of the simulation was written by a committee.

I see Mike Godwin (of Godwin's Law fame) sitting alone on a park bench, a thousand-yard stare on his ashen face. He weeps uncontrollably.

Beware the Ides of March!

So, is the gold still in Fort Knox, or isn't it?

When you, the American people, finally get pissed off enough to rise up and cut off Donald Trump's head, you're going to need to re-write the Constitution. Can I suggest that maybe you don't put in a 2nd amendment this time?

At this point, it's hard to deny that Donald Trump was a Manchurian candidate.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

I don't care what they say. My brother is innocent...

Are NYPD all insured through UnitedHealthcare, because it sure seems like it.

For anyone concerned enough to comment about a health insurance CEO being shot, consider that there has been at least one shooting of elementary school kids since then, and no one seems to give a shit about that.

The left builds its house out of glass, hoping for transparency, while the right collects stones.

“Don’t feed the trolls” also extends to bad opinion pieces in papers of record. They run them bc people react to them the most. If we stop linking to bad columns and instead post thinkers we find valuable (& generate convo around it), incentives change. It’s not easy and takes constant practice!

If Trump's first administration was stocked with Bond Villains, it seems like the second one is going with more of a Legion of Doom vibe. A brief thread...

I'm sure there's a reason population decline has been on Elon's mind recently... fortune.com/2024/11/14/x...

CALL TO ACTIVISM is still catching up on our follow backs. To make it easier can you repost this, follow us and drop a 💙 in the comments? We’ll follow everyone who does!