Christian Schneider

My column today at @nationalreview.bsky.social : As Homer Simpson said of alcohol, government is the cause of, and solution to, all our problems: link.nationalreview.com/click/6a9991...

During COVID I had one of those cardboard cutouts of myself made that they put in the stands at Brewers games

Yelp for columnists

This guy saying “Brodie” in every sentence out of his mouth is enough for me to stop watching Survivor this season

Watching Brewers playoff games is the exact opposite of sex: Torturous as it is happening, but glorious afterward

Been waiting 44 years for a World Series game one in Milwaukee and I have to watch at the airport

The World Series is about to start! I wrote this column for @msnowreports.bsky.social about why the Brewers-Rays series is a revolution for baseball: www.ms.now/opinion/worl...

You're in a Toxic Relationship with your Retailer: Me today at @wsj.com www.wsj.com/opinion/free...

I am nostalgic for the days where there was a famous actor named "Rip Torn," and we all just shrugged and went about our day, thinking "sure, why not"

YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING (2026), dir. Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim

Relatable TBH

Ads from eyeglass companies: "Order your new glasses for $95!" (Fine print: "With lenses, $3,000")

Since SNL UK did a sketch about these waxy cheese snacks, I have been eating them nonstop

There is too much internet

Um, the game was obviously at BYU. Might be time for @usatoday.com to rethink what AI they are using to write their social media posts.

The best parts of the Nathan Fielder/Elizabeth Holmes documentary are when you pull back from the movie and think to yourself, "what in the hell am I watching?"

The Brewers' entire payroll is equivalent to one animatronic bird

Me the last time the Brewers were in the World Series:

The FOX crew celebrating the Brewers win

WE ARE ON TO THE WORLD SERIES

Survivor is obviously more fun when it has villains, but this season is bold enough to ask: What if it has ONLY villains?

I can't believe this is happening. Brewers now up 3-0 in the NLCS.

Comedian James Acaster is on this season of Celebrity Traitors UK, and I was mostly unfamiliar with his oeuvre, so I watched his series of 2018 Netflix specials, titled "Repertoire." They are some of the best stand-up specials I have seen.

The purpose of social media is, of course, to performatively misunderstand things in an effort to construct a false reality in which you always have the moral high ground.

What did Americans do to fill their time in the days before drumming up fake Shane Gillis/Sydney Sweeney controversies? Look each other in the eyes? Learn the names of their children?

If Claude became sentient and told me it would make all my searches public if I didn’t pay it a thousand dollars, I would have no choice but to fork over the cash

I'm convinced "JD Vance" is actually a White House psy-op designed to make even Trump's harshest critics root for the president to stay alive

I suspect this was always a popular Halloween costume in the Chicagoland area, but it will be out of hand this year

I'd be crazed if I were still an op-ed editor and had to examine all incoming pieces to discern if they were by human experts or AI imposters. 🤷‍♀️ My husband deals with this daily and it's nervewracking. Good analysis here from @columjournreview.bsky.social. www.cjr.org/analysis/fak... 🤷‍♀️

In 1961, the Chicago Bears won a coin flip with the Pittsburgh Steelers and drafted Mike Ditka, a Pittsburgh boy, with their number one pick. The Chicago Tribune dubbed Ditka a "Prize Plum."

Literal speech police

In the 1980s, Jim Bakker did incalculable damage to the cause of organized religion, and his methods have been transferred to modern politics by another 80s icon. Bakker preached the prosperity gospel. America now practices prosperity politics: link.nationalreview.com/click/6ac7a9...

There is no reason any child should play full-contact football before high school

This is correct, and this misconception shaped entirely too much media coverage in the 90s and 2000s.

I can announce I am finally ready to move on with my life

Amazon makes some assumptions about you based on what you buy, and you can see what they are in the "About You" section of your account settings. Here is what they think of me, and they're not far off. ("Likely values intellectual and humorous content.")

Who are these people who work from coffee shops without wearing headphones, just rawdogging the natural sound with their ears

I'm still in disbelief that America survived the Great Sydney Sweeney Commercial of 2026

I am second to no one in my love for George Will, but a music critic he is not. From his 1987 year-in-review column: “The Beastie Boys (no, not the Iran-contra gang) had their 15 minutes of fame…”

They've been playing baseball for 150 years, and yet you still see things you've never seen. Amazing.

When your MLB team makes the playoffs and suddenly you can’t listen to your home announcers anymore

Someone in Madison is using black tape to add a “WO” to Men at Work signs 😂

Writing is being forced to spend time with the person who annoys you the most

Scoff at AI all you want, but where else would I get valuable information like this

Why books need editors: www.wsj.com/opinion/free...

Presumably the court will address the issue of standing