Axle

I love when you’re dirty talking and accidentally typo me instead of my Take me cock, fuck me hole, find me booty 🏴‍☠️

Luring a bear back to my place with a line of microwaved pizza bagels

👁️‍🗨️

Giving me that 15-15-15-8-8-8 treatment

This exchange from the cutscenes in the Futurama video game gets me every time

Big bro’s cock two days ago, my pup’s cock yesterday (both of whom thick as fuck), and 7(?) cocks tonight, ranging from smaller than mine to getting close to my pup’s. It’s been like a year since I’ve been to a club six sex party and it feels good to get back into it, even if my hole is wrecked lol

Canadians love saying “oh my god was that only a Canadian phenomenon?!”

In order for a bad movie to be a good bad movie it’s gotta believe in something. Or 30 years have to pass.

I dreamt there was a surgery that let guys switch dicks

If anyone’s got any leads

Shower after poop, let out a whoop 🥳 Poop after shower, things looking dour 😟

One of my favorite things about storytelling through DnD is how the story is just as much shaped by what you don’t do as what you do.

Last night at the bar my pup gave me a chest hickie so strong that he sucked blood out through the skin 🥵 that he then licked off 🥵🥵 and we made out with my blood in our mouths 🥵🥵🥵

Honestly, outside of how hot it would be, feels thematic. Vault-Tec would love the misogynistic experiment of “what if a world without women” that still reinforced the idealized gender dynamics of the 50s. The future being unable to shake off the past… mpreg hauntology…

There’s no way to disprove that there wasn’t a Vault populated entirely by men who were forced to become either alphas or omegas.

Remember when Nymphia had to refer to the show’s racism as “the Asian curse,” as though it were a coincidence that 80% of Asian queens got eliminated in the first three episodes.

My gym crush moved but is back for the holidays which SUCKS cuz I hate pining over guys who aren’t interested in me 😫 anyway here’s my tits for the guys who do notice me

Can someone smarter than me tell me if walking into the CVS near your childhood home and seeing that it hasn’t changed at all in 20 years is hauntology

It’s so broad I had a lot to work with (Each of these was given with me inside him)

Explain your username: I like armpits

The future is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present 😌

I love my balls

Trope I love: when someone is escaping from somewhere, and they find the path oddly absent of guards (or scattered with their bodies), because someone else is secretly helping them escape. Either a helpful guardian angel at the end of the path, or someone with a more insidious purpose for them, love

The most I’ll ever set something to is warn, I don’t know how anyone can trust external moderation beyond their own personal judgement

Neither types that I thought I’d get, though halfway through when I realized how many physical answers I’d chosen I knew I was getting fighting

Gay men say straight girl in the same tone straight guys say bitch

Men are hotter covered in blood #blood

When traveling, it’s always important to respect the cultures and customs of the places you visit. So tourists, please remember that Folsom is a deodorant-free holiday. Your fuckstick is welcome, your speed stick is not

F•••• S••••• was hands down my favorite silk song boss so far. Felt really engaged the entire fight, like I was having to learn and react quick and make split second decisions. Didn’t hurt that you respawn immediately outside the fight.

Quickest way to Prove Him Wrong

Ive been to the gym twice since silk song came out so, considering I also spent a day recovering from vaccination, I think im doing pretty well on the willpower front

If you’re in SF, i highly recommend seeing Terror Vault. Part haunted house, part interactive theater experience, it puts you the guest as the protagonist of a horror movie, with this year’s theme being witches. Also I’m in it so lemme scare you

COVID and flu shots are available at Walgreens, no charge. You need to be immunocompromised, but that’s defined in such a broad way (mental health problems is a qualifier) that you will be able to get it. Make sure to get both vaccines, flu is nasty too

When his shirt doesn’t totally cover his overhang 🥴🥴🥴

All my childhood bullies also had mpreg tattoos 🫃 If you’re heading to Folsom, you should come to this. I’ll put you in a headlock and give you a wet willie

😵‍💫