The Heard Theorem

Ken Paxton is 100% Stevie Janowski on Eastbound And Down

Live look at Rick Pitino’s reaction as his team knocks off Kansas with a buzzer beater to send St John’s to the Sweet 16 #MarchMadness

That Arkansas player going after that big pretzel NIL money! #MarchMadness

I would like to personally thank Elon Musk for teaching me how easy it is to move on from a social media platform. The experience made deleting TikTok 100X easier.

Another. Fucking. ICE. Murder. Question: If a national general strike / economic blackout was organized, would you participate? Repost/Comment YES

He’s not a hero. She’s not a terrorist. You’re not an idiot. #FuckICE

Pretty wild that Kevin Durant got traded to Rockets on the same day that the Thunder are hosting their first ever Game 7 in OKC

The struggle between participating in the economic blackout and the possibility of going to a non-crowded H-E-B is real, y’all

The only way the Luka trade makes sense to me is if there’s some sort of criminal charge or accusation coming for Luka that we don’t know about yet. #Mavs #Laker #NBA #Luka #AD

Would someone on Twitter kindly point out to Elon (since he’s the all knowing Master of Efficiency) that it’s far more efficient to go after the people that hire and exploit undocumented workers than to go after millions of people in a witch hunt.

Always take the over when betting on Pete Hegseth’s BAC level!

99.9% chance that Pete Hegseth is fuuuuuucked uuuuuuppp right now! 🍻

Fox News on Greta Thunberg: She’s mentally ill because she has autism. You’d have to be crazy to follow her. Fox News on Elon Musk: He made back to back “Roman” salutes because he has autism. You’d have to be crazy to think otherwise.

I wonder if I could get more people to call Trump “Lil President Low-T” than he could get to call the Gulf of Mexico “Gulf of America”

The same people that excuse Elon’s Nazi salute because of his autism are the same people that called Great Thunberg mentally ill for being autistic.

If we all do our part to convince Trump supporters to invest everything they can in $Trump and $Melania meme coins, they might actually learn what we all already know about Trump.

Ohio State’s coach looks like a wax museum figure that’s come to life.

Gawt Dammit! I forgot to storm the capitol today!

The Titans wearing the Oilers uniforms vs the Texans again is the most classless trolling in sports history. 🖕 Amy Adams Strunk. That logo, name and colors belong to Houston!

Did I wake up from a nap in a parallel universe? Woke up to the Snoop Dogg Nevada Bowl presented by Gin & Juice on The CW playing on my TV

If you had the power to Thanos Snap one Christmas song out of existence, which one do you choose? #Christmas #Music

I’m going to predict that Entropy Survivors will be the surprise hit of the Winter in gaming. Came out 10 days ago. It’s super polished and addictive as hell. I’d say the gameplay is a cross between Hades, Neon Abyss and Vampire Survivors. Apparently it’s in the Shoulders of Giants universe

🏀😬Watching this game on the Knicks’ NBA Cup court is what it feels like to have a panic attack while watching a basketball game. 😬🏀 #Knicks #Hawks #NBACup #Rockets #Warriors #Basketball

If Sark would play Ewers at QB between the Texas Goal Line and the other team’s 25 and then inserted Manning at QB inside the other team’s 30 or 25, I think Texas could win the College Football Playoff. Outside of that…not gonna happen.

I wish God cared as much about Universal Healthcare as he does College Football according to all these coaches and players this weekend. #CFP #Clemson #SMU #Georgia #Texas #Oregon #PennState #ArizonaState #IowaState #BoiseState #UNLV

If you’re Gen X there is only one song that’s in your head right now watching Arizona State vs Iowa State in the Big 12 Championship Game

This week was a real roller coaster, I prefer Iron Rattler (The Best Coaster In Texas)

Unfortunately, Peter Barker and Churro destroy soccer balls in less than 30 seconds. Probably the only thing holding them back from starting for #AustinFC. #BorderCollies #Soccer #MLS

I’m beginning to think that the word “Woke” is shorthand for “Doesn’t act like a complete asshole” #Woke #AreHashtagsAThingOnBlueSky

Wilderado was the big winner this year for me but they were unable to dethrone The Killers for my most listened to artist.

@vancityreynolds.bsky.social The inner struggle between wanting to watch Wrexham AFC matches live and not wanting to spoil the next season of Welcome to Wrexham is real!

I love the Rockets’ brand of basketball! They have been so fun to watch!

The Houston Rockets having “Summit” on the court reminds me of how arenas, stadiums and ballparks used to have really cool names instead of a revolving door of corporate sponsor names. I wish they somehow incorporated the Dunkstronaut into their City Unis this year.

PTSDame 🫤 #Rockets

Won’t be watching The Game Awards this year, but I’ll make sure to post about how Balatro got robbed when it inevitably doesn’t win vs DLCs, Remakes and Remasters.

The last time it was Houston vs Dallas on MNF was December 13, 1982. I remember crying because my dad made me go to bed at halftime. #MNF #Texans #Cowboys #Oilers

Joker:Carnival of Chaos at Six Flags Fiesta Texas. Video taken with #RayBanMetas #FiestaTexas #ThrillSeekers

In honor of Tyson returning to the ring: Netflix has decided to give us the quintessential 1990’s Internet Experience #TysonVsPaul

Have a game Jabari!!! Have a game young man!!!! #Rockets

Tonight: All of Gen X is Iron Mike 🥊🥊 #TysonVsPaul

@rickyftw.bsky.social You have successfully persuaded a 49 year old who mostly dislikes social media to open a new account on this platform. Don’t worry! I solemnly vow to not bring Minion memes to this platform.

Welp! At least I’m not on Twitter for this shit show. #SilverLining #Election

App with no Elon > App with followers