Jade

We now have security at work because someone ordered too much of a certain kinda chemical. We were flagged by authorities and the unarmed security is gonna do what? I should have applied myself better in school.

There has been a recent rash of "baby's in his find out era". 🤣🤣🤣

Dear Mr. Sheeran, Eventually numbers become anaesthesia. But somewhere there was a mother who knew every freckle on one of those numbers.

Other countries arresting or at least opening investigations on those mentioned in the E files. Merica’: give Pam another black marker and get her to talk about the DOW. At this point burn it all and salt the earth.

All those complaining about Bad Bunny not having “English captions” the deaf community it cackling at ya’ll.

Ohhh like Clark Kent but melanated and all Dom’d up. Check please!

Dear Mom and Dad, my sympathies for you are out of network. Try Aetna.

C4, glitter or Sriracha, use too much and we gotcha. 🎤🎶 I wake up with the weirdest jingles goin through my head.

So you’ve been destroyed a thousand times. Just means you know a thousand ways to rebuild yourself. Keep going.

Dear Maggots, idolizing a politician is like believing that stripper really likes you.

Are these the same people claiming Antifa “members” are terrorists and did they get their info from the “girlfriend of the antifa leader”?

Peckish

Grandbaby just asked why I’m so pale now. TF…. It’s sugar cookie season. Mind ya bidness chile. #paperbagprincess bs

I have to remind myself on the daily that I’m still saving up bail.

Annnd if y’all see anybody 5 finger discounting… NO to you didn’t. You have glaucoma go smoke some.

Here is a script you can use for any issue. Find your reps' # at reps.fyi or 5calls.org. Every time you see a news story that horrifies you: call, or something else about it. It matters to say what you believe. You are setting a norm.

Why would I do business with anyone who thought voting for him was a smart decision? This is the ultimate proof of poor judgement. #oyemira

💥 New Zealand knows what’s up!!

What the fuck are you doing? Get off your ass and demand that these criminals step the fuck down! #oyemira

Bet.

Be very careful with those who refuse self reflection and accountability. If they can’t be honest with themselves; they’ll never be honest with you.

I’m very laid back, but I’ll lean forward and in real fvckin quick. Slow your roll.

💯

Poor people don’t abuse the system. The system abuses poor people.

Or church

I'm going to post this video every day so we never forget Pls do the same.

Oh darling child of mine, you are indeed a tornado in a Tiffany’s box. May the gods help us all.

I just got my brand new shirt, courtesy of @akcrucial.bsky.social. 💜

The #Starbucks workers on strike have signs that say “seize the beans of production” and if that isn’t a wholeass encyclopedia entry on how talent dies in poverty in this country, I don’t know what is. @sbworkersunited.org

The #medusa is here. Thank you all so much. I have 20 left.

Remember hallmark type Xmas ish movies included are nothing more than republican propaganda. Celebrate on your own terms. 💋

Understand if you bring chitterling sugar cookies to the table…. I will. Set. The. Table. On. Fire. And. Fight. You.

Some things aren’t for you.

Why are you shrinking yourself to be more digestible? Let the MFs choke.

Nosey neighbor: little early to be drinking don’t you think? 💁🏽‍♀️… MF what time does your throat open at? I’m good 💋

Is this really so hard?

Hey why you trying to appeal to the heart of the oppressor? They ain’t got one.

I LOVE my dogs, but when my brother visits and the cat walks by and whaps him in the head outta nowhere…. She just understands me on another level.

I don’t understand how conservative employers still have “do you have any felony convictions” on a job application; when they voted in a man who has more than any of us.

Stop worrying about what other think about you. You know damn well thinking isn’t their strong suit.

If the path you’re on demands you walk through hell. Walk through like you own that ish.

Your younger self would be so damn proud of how far you’ve come. Stop being so damn hard on yourself.

You think it cute to cheat. I think it cute to cut break lines. Best a luck.

Performative bs.

Yo honey chile… listen. Ion gon be your art project. I’m perfect as the Picasso I am. Bless yer heart.

Never do business with a MF who has NO skin in the game. Period.