Patricia Correll

The pediatrician said my kids need to practice better posture so every time I see them hunched over I yell, 'Stop shrimping!'

People say that if you watched 1999's The Mummy, you either fell in love with Rick or Evelyn, but what if you thought Imhotep was the most attractive character? Asking for me.

Why did Aizen get all sexy after he turned evil?! #bleach #anime

Sorry to hear about Walter Koenig. He was good on Star Trek but I think he was even better as sinister Bester in Babylon 5.

Cleaning out the linen closet, I found a pile of what looked like sand. We pay for termite prevention, but thought a professional should reassure us. IT WAS A FIRE ANT MOUND. Those assholes, not content to torment me in the yard, crawled in along the pipes & tried to colonize my house. FIRE ANTS

For the past two weeks (maybe longer, I don't remember) I've been waking up 15-20 times a night. Even taking melatonin. Even taking NyQuil (I have a cold aince yesterday). You know how they say, 'If you don't rest, your body will make you rest '? When does that part kick in? #perimenopause

Aldi had Medjool dates so I bought some because I don't think I ever ate a date before and daaaaaang they are good.

Zillow says that similar houses in my neighborhood are valued at $268,000. I love my little white house. It is absolutely not worth $268,000. No wonder young people can't afford to buy houses.

It would be fun to cosplay one of the wives in Jaadugar, because of their elaborate clothing, but I think it might be uncomfortable because they're actual historical figures who were really Mongolian, and I am...white as can be.

Milo's trying to appeal to the youth.

'Sell me your children! I want to buy your women!'

Oh no. Another Half Life 3 'leak'. My kid is frothing at the mouth about this one. I hope he isn't disappointed again. (I stayed up late to watch the Video Game Awards to see if there was an announcement, and had to let him down easy in the morning)

The last load of flood laundry is in the dryer. Hallelujah. Now I can start the regular laundry.

Saw a post of a guy saying he knows he hates Dungeon Crawler Carl (he never read it) & he can't wait to find out that the author is a terrible person. 1. Why waste your life hating something you don't even know? 2. Insinuating someone must be bad for absolutely no reason is jealous & gross. Loser

Hegseth wanted to move Eisenhower's globe into his office. Instead of waiting for experts, he made his staffers move it. They dropped & broke it. Which is a perfect metaphor for this entire administration. Dismiss expertise, selfishly do what you want, and destroy something priceless because of it.

I bet Elon sucks at playing Mass Effect too so EA shut down Bioware to pander to him.

This October I am going to make my kids watch the first episode of my favorite show ever, The X-Files. I am bracing myself for them to hate it. They generally have good taste but sometimes they go rogue.

Name a character who deserved better.

I watched The Devils (not this new release). Brilliant movie. Not sure I ever want to see it again. gizmodo.com/ken-russells...

I knew people were pissed at Vivek Ramawany but I just saw what he actually did and OMG what a vile excuse for a human he is.

A lady asked me if I had seen eyes like this (she drew a picture), either out in the world, or in my dreams, in the context of the coming apocalypse. I said it had the same pupil as a reptile but other than that I hadn't seen one like it. She seemed disappointed. I guess I am not one of the Chosen ☹️

The church trunk or treat has been cancelled due to lack of volunteers (Teen and I were signed up) 😭 I'm a weirdo who plans months in advance, what am I going to do with my Kawaii Café setup? I can give out the Little Debbie snacks on actual Halloween. And wear the Hatsune Miku tee I bought. IDGAF

Since the oce maker on the fridge is out of commission for the foreseeable future, we have to make ice the old-fashioned way. Luckily I already have the perfect silicone molds.

Geez what a day. Fridge flipped out and flooded the kitchen (we've about got that in hand though). Momocon convention center hotels were sold out (in 12 minutes) but we got one a few minutes' walk away. Teen needs glasses. Teen got into college.

film you've watched more than six times with a gif hard mode: no star trek/wars, LOTR, Marvel, Disney, Ghibli

My husband is trying to get us a hotel room for Momocon today. Wish him luck! 🤞

If Bluey celebrates Christmas, that means there was a dog Jesus, right? And a dog Roman Empire. The implications are staggering.

Time to start coloring!

Started watching Steel Ball Run. I wonder how many horses had to be put down after that first episode.

I got a button.

At a university tour with Teen. Husband works here. Me: It says the tour starts at the seal doors. I can't figure out where that is. Husband: Probably...here? The doors by the giant freaking university seal embedded in the floor? Me: Oh. That's totally what I was thinking of.

At the local college's University Day. How much money does the university spend printing millions of flyers and pamphlets and making pins and plastic cups?

I don't know anything about Kelly Clarkson, really. But I do know about Adam Rubin, who apparently co-owns the expensive toy store, and his books are fire.

Apparently my 6th-grader's social studies teacher is trying to be the cool teacher, because he read them 'brainrot' versions of the Constitution and Bill of Rights (my kid hated it). But he also let them watch this SNL skit about the 2nd Amendment, which is neat. 🤷‍♀️ youtu.be/6qTBHcPXs64?...

My uncle called Mom and told her that a lady at his church looks exactly like me, so much so that he did a triple take and almost asked her for a photo (he didn't, thank God). So hey there twin in Minnesota! 👋

Pediatrician: Your son is 91 pounds and 5"6. He grew...5 inches last year. Me: Yes, I noticed. 😅

This church usually has a lot of fire-and-brimstone signs, but this one I actually agree with.

NPR says that Pope Leo's surgery went well and so far his prognosis looks good. I hope so because I want him to stay in that office for a long time.

Me as a ghost.

Me: We need to find a horror movie to watch. 12: Backrooms again? Me: When it's on DVD maybe. 12: How about we watch the movie that the actor who played Phil was also in? Me: HahahahaNO.

12-year-old. The original Scream. What do we think? (I haven't seen it since it originally came out but remember it being relatively mild. I don't care about language. He loved Backrooms, which I actually found pretty disturbing).

A kid drew this and left it on the table. I love it so much.

'Get in the pickup truck, Shinji!'

Putting the cold pack in my kids' lunch boxes, I remember how I took a sandwich (usually Buddig sliced lunch meat) to school every day in a brown paper bag with zero refrigeration. How did I not die of food poisoning? Were there just that many chemical preservatives in the lunch meat?

More progress! Did you know that grass didn't evolve until the late Cretaceous period? Psittacosaurus lived in the early Cretaceous, so no grass for these guys!