AVK | Wide World of Batshit

Welcome to AVK’s Wide World of Batshit (Season 7.5!) Batshit crazy posts from batshit crazy Facebook groups PLUS the VAERS Clearinghouse, where the weirdest VAERS reports are archived. Mee-Maw’s Urine Chaw explains the rest. Clearinghouse in the first reply. 1/3

Shelly's freaking out because her grandbaby might arrive as a defective, half-vaxxed spawn of Satan, so she asks her anti-vax group for re-assurance that this wont happen. BIG MISTAKE. From the AVK Archive

Alberta separatists are finding it increasingly difficult to live in a country where people have different skin colours, speak different languages and have the audacity to show themselves in public. But remember, they're not racist.

Isabelle wants to fix her daughter's freshly broken teeth by pouring her rancid piss on them. From the AVK Archive

Christian Nationalists, who would shoot their neighbour dead if Trump told them to, suddenly don't trust him over Trump Accounts

Great news everyone! Your sunglasses will now allow you to distinguish between normal, happy clouds and angry, yellow cake uranium spewing chemtrails! From the AVK Archive

Alberta separatists are exploring their options after losing the referendum. Court challenges? No. Another vote? No. Armed confrontation, uprisings and wiping out entire cities? That's the ticket!

Crunchy Moms discover that the government's secret plan to exterminate humanity involves installing smart meters on everyone's houses and then sending them monthly bills for the electricity they use.

Anti-vaxxers shocked, SHOCKED, that a pediatrician would accuse one of them of getting their information from TikTok. From the AVK Archive

American MAGAts have had enough! ENOUGH, I say! From the AVK Archive

This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but with fungus milk.

Homeschool parents share how they threaten their kids into accepting homeschooling. From the AVK Archive

Bigfoot researchers have multiple theories of where Bigfoot came from and none of them involve a Bigfoot having sex with another Bigfoot.

Anti-vaxxers are bitching about masks, nanobots and Nuremberg Code violations. No, this is not a repeat from 2021.

Vaccine made her veins so tough it took two nurses all their strength to push a needle in. From the AVK Archive

Should you be afraid of a mass-produced sticker applied to a 1/8" thick piece of particle board? Yes, say these people. (And Ed has a picture of a driveway stain to prove it.)

Flat earthers take time out of their busy, flat schedule to ponder the meaning of blue streetlights. From the AVK Archive

Brent seems nice

Homeschool parents on what their kids can and can't watch on TV. From the AVK Archive

I was watching a 1968 episode of Adam-12 and this is how they dealt with domestic abuse.

Good news: Ghosts apparently follow a graduated disciplinary process before they kill you. Pushing → pinching → biting → punching → scratching → hair pulling → murder. Bad news: Casper and Scooby Doo prepared us for NONE of this.

Alberta separatists fondly remember when European immigrants sailed to Canada on unicorns, showered Indigenous people with fairy dust, puppies and rainbows, adopted their cultures and traditions and asked for absolutely nothing.

Mandela Effect believers face a spelling dilemna

Alberta separatists hate immigrants so much that they're prepared to become immigrants to get away from them.

Piss Drinkers discover things swimming around in a two-week-old jar of piss and... nothing. Absolutely nothing. We all know they're still going to drink that shit.

It was all a hoak. A HOAK!!!

Alberta separatists have accepted the results of the referendum and are moving on... ...to researching which government buildings are easiest to storm.

William tried this crazy "democracy" fad and didn't like it, now he's wants to try the Pierogi Hall Putsch.

Please check on your separatist friends and family today. They are not doing well.

Like rats from a sinking ship...

Separatists taking their loss with the grace and dignity we've come to expect from them

My heart is cryin', cryin' Lonely teardrops My pillows never dry of Lonely teardrops

Math, how does it work?

Les in 2024: "I demand greater voter restrictions!" Les in 2026: "FUCK!"

Those pesky non-whites have been voting again in Alberta!

"I'm not responsible for what my ancestors did to the First Nations because I wasn't there personally. I am, however, uniquely entitled to benefit from what my ancestors did, even though I wasn't there personally." - Every Alberta separatist From the AVK Archive

Alberta separatists are now convinced the entire referendum could be stolen by a shadowy cabal armed with nothing more than pencils and erasers.

Alberta separatists discover Muslims praying in Toronto and respond with the traditional Canadian values of vehicular homicide, mass deportation and religious persecution.

5 months of separatists screaming "pick option 2" every 👏fucking👏day👏and Sven still gets it wrong.

Alberta separatists honour the sacrifice of Canadian soldiers by accusing their own government of deliberately murdering them. No investigation. No evidence. Just dead soldiers, grieving families and another opportunity to indulge their hatred of Carney. Some fucking patriots.

The Republic of Alberta: We're hoping our ample assets will distract you from our toxic personality.

You can tell which ones by looking at the bottom of the ballot for a stamp that says "This vote stolen by evil libs by order of Justin Trudeau. Bwahahahaha."

And we would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling voters!

Alberta separatists are outraged that First Nations people are voting on the future of their own land without first asking permission from the people who stole it.

Separatists already laying the groundwork for their stunning victory tonight.

There was an attempt: To be inclusive in an Alberta separatist group... From the AVK Archive

"We're not separatists! You're separatists!"

Referendum is compromised because Gramma has to wait 30 minutes to vote.