ivy 😵‍💫

i’m not doing very well in general

went and saw many of my friends perform a new original opera and i feel weepier

and if i dyed my whole head what then

vhs player arriving at my house today yippee!!!!!

your straight coworkers will really tell you they have never heard of john waters

kiki with bouba tendencies

there is a guy employed at sweetwater whose entire job is to call and email and deadname you

if i thought i had tits before i like really have them now

yep, i deleted twitter off my phone. i’m sure everyone cares about this. and if you don’t i’ll make you

i’m in an uber and why is the hyundai ioniq designed like a futuristic space motel inside

i can’t stop laughing when i see this. yeah dvd week vs ishowspeed. that’s awesome. maybe they can eke this one out over the guy more famous than mickey mouse

at 10 million followers i will be posting my home address and leaving the door unlocked

it takes less exaggeration than you would think to get my accent there

voice training to sound like frances mcdormand in fargo

the devils is so real if oliver reed was my priest i would’ve been all up in his thing

shaving my whole body before seeing the devils just in case

dropped my headphones on my way out of work and now one of the ears is fucked up #THISTIMEIMREALLYGONNADOIT

managed to trick my coworker into watching on cinema at the cinema and she’s already into season 3

been hyping up the devils and you can see everything so much at work my coworkers are excited for “ivys barbenheimer”

band called “vaguely tit shaped”

got into my uber and my driver quickly paused a youtube video so i only heard “eating dinner away from your wife, in a second room” what do you think he’s going through

why called boy shorts when so good for girls?

tiktok witch on day 232 of her perpetual potion: first off everyone, i source all of my ingredients ethically so please stop commenting. anyway today i will be adding tongue of dog and i know when we did that on day 43 i could only bark for a week but i think yesterdays wyrmwood will temper it

Remember, embodying the spirit of straight animals is actually more gay.

you can lead a horse to W faps but you can’t make it goon

indianapolis is the greatest city in the world, where else can you get stopped for 5 minutes by a train

car exploded for real this time smoking as i pulled over 5 minutes away from planned parenthood too so im talking to a tow truck driver about a busted coolant line dressed like im trying to convince the nurse im ready to come off the bench this season

car broke down on the way to hrt follow up now i’m fagged up to talk to a tow truck driver

making sure they can see my tits when i go to planned parenthood to thank them for all they’ve done

shirt that says “i don’t remember buying this or picking it out of my closet or putting it on this morning”

friends are reviewing digger highly #TheCruiseCantLose #TurningPlemonsIntoPlemonade