BadHorror Reviews

BREAKING NEWS: Lightning McQueen from the movie Cars has passed away at the age of 22. Mr. McQueen fell asleep in his garage and left himself running

Negative four degrees looks like a dude leaned forward absolutely ass-blasting a turd across the room.

My annual review just described my personality as "brushing up naked against a truck stop shower curtain".

Well, if I already had pants then it would be weird for me to be in a JoAnn Fabrics getting pants material, wouldn't it? But, here we are.

But where on Eileen?

Shout out to Pompeii. World "Floor is Lava" Champs since 79AD

When Earth's RAM is low and render distance is reduced. Also, terrible story line.

Church would be a lot more interesting if everyone spoke Creole instead of Latin

Valentine's is all about showing strangers on the internet your peanuts and borbs

Hello, and welcome to the ED support group. I'm sad to report that several of our members couldn't come tonight.

In case you're wondering how overpaid and useless CEOs really are, Elmo has been cosplaying president for 3 weeks now while Tesla and Space X haven't collapsed.

A Blair Witch-style movie except the camera man is kind of clueless and always in the next room or facing just slightly the wrong way when something tragic happens.

My sweet, sweet child is about to have a soul crushing weekend

RFK's brain worm walking into the office on his first day as Health Secretary

The Easter bunny is hiding painted potatoes this year, kids

I wish I could start a beef with Kendrick. Feels like I'd learn a lot about myself.

I'm an old white guy with 90s alternative on perpetual playback but I watched the halftime show and the more I read to understand all of the nuance and meanings, the more I am convinced that Kendrick Lamar is absolutely brilliant.

My sources inside the NFL are saying that since Mahomes has completed more passes to an Eagle than Hurts has, that Philly will be paying for the KC QBs paycheck today.

Mahomes is getting fucked by 11 guys at once so hard that this game is going to be sponsored by Porn Hub.

People are speaking with their checkbooks now. I love this for Target. Money is how you communicate with businesses.

Finally finished reading the dictionary. The plot was incredibly difficult to follow and the writer was overly pretentious, trying to use every big word they could come up with.

Polonia Bros movies are always consistently amazing, cheesy, and outlandish.

Bottled water will be needed for my 140 7th graders for our state testing days. ‼️We need 6️⃣‼️ Any donation or RP would be appreciated. @bonhanson.bsky.social @craignewmark.bsky.social @johnpaulhi.bsky.social www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Yeah, I vape (Use Vick's because I'm always sore)

“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” ―Douglas Adams

Customer: What do you recommend? Me, a waiter: I recommend cranking my hog Manager: No! It's called pulled pork! Me: THAT'S THE SAME THING, KYLE! Manager: It's clearly not!

Being an elder millennial and watching the rise of home computers, the internet, and now being a Lead Software Engineer, I can confirm what my grandma once said. Those things would, in fact, be great to keep all of her recipes on, and that's about it.

Kanye having a mental health crisis on Twitter is only sad. It's not entertaining, funny, or edgy. I, obviously, don't know him and he wouldn't listen to me anyway. Help and be there for those you love.

My neighbor, Beth, gave birth to the Anti-Christ AGAIN. Honestly, at this point, I think she's just doing it for attention.

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send those, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me: I lift my lamp beside the golden door"

Hey, Honey! Break out the welder! I want to reheat this pizza.

Priest: Jesus will return to the earth with the sound of seven trumpets [Ska starts playing from the sky] Priest: No, not like that.

Trump is threatening to seize Greenland. Denmark owns Greenland and is really getting upset at all of the Orange Donkey's rhetoric. Denmark also owns Lego and is now threatening to stop Lego deliveries to the US. This is how you radicalize so many people I know.

Baja Blast isn't the same without @tacobell.bsky.social. I have been conditioned.

So, @jessicagnarly.bsky.social is watching wrestling and I asked her if Gay Lucius Malfoy and Nicepool are a real threat.

"Bitches be trippin" -Maintenance worker fixing ramp at dog show

I've spent the whole weekend binging Kolchak: The Night Stalker. Without Kolchak, we wouldn't have the X-Files or many scifi and horror tv. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor.

Unleashed dog bites neighbor woman. Dog's owner proceeds to villify and kill the neighbor -Wizard of Oz

Hey, I just bought eggs an hour ago. The cheapest ones i could find, in the Midwest here, were $5.50 a dozen. But at least we have less rights now.

"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Doctors in Chicago in the 70s really new how to wake a guy up from a coma.