Andy Barr

Fun thing going on with Bernard Cornwell's wikipedia portrait. Fig 1. Portrait as it appears on article Fig 2. Full image as seen in phone photo gallery

@tomwoodhead.bsky.social talking about Tom (positive)

It certainly feels like they're expecting some events

This time next week I will be on my way to Toronto. We will take a daytrip to Niagara Falls. I have just discovered Niagara Falls is home to the world's largest indoor aviary...

SACHA BARON COHEN: My satire exposes hate and bigotry in society. BORAT: (molesting donkey) I like very much eating from toilet!!!

Depression indicator

With WWIII already pencilled in the diary by the powers that be, there's never been a better time to get your official diagnosis of mental ill-health - here at Unconscript.Me, we pride ourselves on the swift provision medical exemption certificates recognised by most major militaries for a reasonabl

Laughed out of the observatory for referring to it as 'space' rather than 'the Heav'ns'

Tonight I'll be doing my Edinburgh show "Who Remembers the 90s" one final time at the Museum of Comedy, London. If that's your sort of thing the show is at 8:30pm and tickets are still available www.museumofcomedy.com/adam-larter-...

'Do you think an air fryer would level up our dinner game' I message my flatmate and walk immediately into traffic

Burnham should send Man City to Ukraine. And pay them soldier's wages, which have been swapped with footballer's wages - functionally no change for the players, except that they'll be classified as soldiers.

Goodnight Sweetheart post-credit sequence teases third wife

Surprising number of people at work willing to take phonecalls whilst pissing

Trying to remember if I started talking about the Brabant Killers to the Belgians I wound up playing pool with last night.

On a trip to Belgium - pleased to share I have had my first experience of getting tear gassed! Life is a rich tapestry.

Clearly in an emotionally tender place - the big copier at work has a couple of little arms on the output trays, once they finish a job, they give the copies a little double tap, as if patting them, wishing them goodbye and sending them out into the world. Finding it very sweet.

Catching de Saussure headlining the Monsters of Language tour

NOW EATING: 'Apple' by Tree

Received an email from 'an AI powered software platform, authorised and regulated as a law firm by the Solicitors Regulation Authority, that recovers debts on behalf of my users'. Very difficult to take seriously as the platform is called Garfield and signs off its emails 'Yours sincerely, Garfield'

New Sherlock but instead of taking drugs, Holmes reads manga.

This whole thread makes me want to go straight down to generative AI headquarters with a hammer.

Nice day at Rainham Marshes

A trifling concern, but there's something wrong with the machine that seals the bags of the Asda Fruit & Fibre cereal at the moment.

This is hilarious. I am one of two people nominated for best host, and the other person is Louis Theroux. It's done by public vote. Vote for me! We can do this!

Any Fawlty Towers reboot should follow a similar line to Audrey Horne's scenes in The Return.

BREAKING: Counter-terrorism police reveal that RAF Fairford operation was 'social experiment'

My bingo card's a fucking mess. Smells, batting averages, weather systems, award ceremony outcomes, mass transit outages due to errant bird migration.

This 'Danny Tommo' character has a real writers' strike feel to him

Hello Bond, I'm Girl Q, you cunt

Stacey Dooley uncovers a strange "Zone"

I didn't have Gordon Brown and Mr Beast becoming trapped in the backrooms on my 2026 bingo card. I had numbers, like most others.

BOOK CORNER: A Canticle for Leibowitz - absolutely fantastic. BOOK CORNER ENDS

One additional plug for the A.M. crowd...

A fourth (4th) substack, comprised of one (1) short story from yours truly: andybarrcomedy.substack.com/p/the-pump

BREAKING: Bibbsy Bobbins says he would "kick" Guzzle-man and "make him fall over"

A fourth (4th) substack, comprised of one (1) short story from yours truly: andybarrcomedy.substack.com/p/the-pump

Kent County Cricket Club fans, myself included, are presently obsessively studying the Northants v Derbyshire livestream to make sure it's still raining. I love it.

Just been blessed with a first - and last - look at Bill Murray's golfing travelogue

Academics on In Our Time love to find new, fucked up ways to say 'poem'