beaseltheweasel.bsky.social

Product idea: leaf-shaped potato chips

You're never really "out of your mind". Your mind goes out of you.

Is there a furry version of "Oh, the humanity"?

I heard you all like coyotes.

You know what all billionaires have in common? No motivation.

"So how was the new movie?" "Oh, it's great!" "I KNEW IT!" "Except the last part felt kinda rushed. It didn't make any sense." "..."

You know how in "Patty Hype", SpongeBob and Patrick give away the money they earned from selling Pretty Patties? I bet billionaires hate that scene.

Hey, Bluesky! About that age verification thing? LEAVE US ADULTS ALONE!!!

Sony CEO, in front of a camera with very little lighting, airing to the public, with a mentally insane grin on his face: "I come here to remind you that you will not own any game we provide in the future. And you are required to enjoy it. (Suddenly shouting) DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!!!?!!?!"

I couldn't have thought of a better way to end it. Phenomenal. The Amazing Digital Circus 2023 - 2026

Am I the only one who likes cold pizza?

I always thought that air bag was a giant hand

Egg

You know, every portrayal of Trump shows him with tiny hands. And they're completely accurate to him IRL. Everyone, keep it up. 👍 #NoKings

Remember that judgement of others for their skin color, gender, religion, and sexual orientation is unnecessary, unprovoked, and heavily unprofessional.

Anybody have those absolute nonsense dreams every now and then?

You know what? I think purple is my new favorite color.

Fun fact: you can neither prove nor deny the existence of the Invisible Man

Sunlight during or immediately after rainfall, my only weakness.

The *AI* is strong with this one. I guess that's the very thing that gives you trust issues, 'cause I genuinely can't tell if this is AI or not.

I'm not a huge religious nut, but regarding the Rapture theory, if John Nelson Darby existed two centuries earlier, he and Isaac Newton would've been bitter rivals.

Wile E. Coyote walks into a bar. Better than an anvil.

So what's our stance on electric cars again? I'm genuinely confused.

In another time, the villain of The Little Mermaid would've been called Salmonella.

Happy birthday, America. I guess.

I just confused a club for a spade while trying to get a flush in Balatro. Brilliant.

I'm still wondering how Clark Kent can hide his identity as Superman with only a pair of glasses.

After a few rounds of Balatro, I think I'm finally understanding poker.

You think people have insurance in Bikini Bottom?

"Nothing half full about this can", said my can of Pringles, a product that is verbally honest unlike those brands that fill only half the bag and call it a day.

#BringBackBananaTwins

Wait beef jerky has sugar???

Do burger king ads need to keep using that same tune?

I need to actually do something around here, make myself stand out a little more. Hmm...

How would Harrison Ford handle a villain role?

You know when Toad touches a super mushroom, he's empowering himself.

As hard as it is, Sonic Spinball is kinda cool.

Random thought: the Motorola logo is just the Williams pinball logo upside down.

The Three Wise Pacs

I hate that my inner speech sounds better than my actual voice.

I just know for a fact that the orange guy is gonna pull a Simpsons joke on the Capitol with a sign that says "On this day of January 6, 2021, nothing happened." And it's not even gonna be a joke.

Our world could use a real-life vigilante like Batman.

The night is darkest just before the dawn, I guess.