Haunted Beef

2026 Baby Names by Popularity: ICEE Reicher Eborcean Newness Newsense Cullambeighn THOTley Baggler Dronestrike Zioneste Diznij (pronounced "Disney") Phuckett

Minnesota likes Oregon and vice versa. Every third person in each state is originally from the other one. This is simple shit, people.

thinking of really stepping outside my comfort zone this Halloween and dressing as Bereaved, Purposeless Aging White Man

I think my darkward turn and terrible crimes all began when Mother stopped brushing my long golden hair with a fine whalebone comb One Hundred Strokes every night before we laid us down to rest.

RIP to a true piece of subhuman scum!

I miss the early 2000’s, they used to make cool phones called like The Palm Dialbetes XL that when you would type on the keypad a needle would pop out whac-a-mole style to test your blood sugar.

or in my case, SAD cow disease.

It's Crypticon in the Twin Cities this weekend and as I was browsing the menu of celebrity guests I noticed that Billy Zane made his own AI poster that implies he was the main character in Titanic.

Icelandic adaptation of Reacher which stars a normal-sized Scandinavian man called “Rïtjr”

I don’t watch broadcast TV, perhaps Tim Walz is putting forward an iota of effort on behalf of Peggy Flanagan there.

A lot of conversation and handwringing about how to capture public interest in the Academy Awards during a slow year for prestige filmmaking and amid numerous unfolding global disasters and, folks, I got two words for ya: Pregnant. Oscar.

MPLS/STP neighbors, where's the best place to get some pâté for a middle-aged man's STINKY charcuterie selection?

Can someone who likes it explain the appeal of Dropout to me? Is it really just Vic Michaelis and a bunch of improv comedians I've never heard of going "hoo hoo! hee hee!" at each other on cheap game show sets?

Tomorrow is my 38th birthday, looking forward to merging completely with BlueSky and existing as pure energy and hand-wringing liberal anxiety

I think if someone brought me a really nice deli sandwich every day I'd probably turn my life around.

I think it sucks that French people are allowed to rap.

Recent nightmares have included a worm infestation that created a hole through my wrist and a hangout session with Peggy Flanagan in which she found my Trump impression very funny. Also I’m constantly trying to pack for an international flight at the last minute for some reason.

Wow, 25 years. The 9/11 attacks can now rent a car without incurring hefty "young driver" fees.

Was seconds away from buying Tainted Grail when I read a review accusing the developers of using gen-AI for some of in-game art, only to look it up and find that this is true. Too bad! Really wanted to play that one.

never played any of these games before but now I am looking forward to killing that fat fuck from Pocahontas as Goofy.

luckily I have a ton of salsa and it is ANCIENT

Smoke in the air, disgusting heat dome sweat that feels like I’m covered in motor oil. But at least the nasty biting insect species seem to be doing great.

ok that's enough knicks shit, the rest of us have something to celebrate now

with SPERRRRRRMMMMM!!!

Not sure suffocating in Mitch McConnell’s crypt technically counts as a sudden illness.

It's true, it's mean for me to rejoice in Lindsey Graham's death. Being thought of as a mean person because of that is perfectly ok with me actually.

weird and depressing seeing that for so many wypipo, even centrist dems, the LAST STRAW was making the white house ugly. people are fucking dying.

I think it's become more or less an inevitability that Stephen Miller will go down as one of the most repugnant and widely hated western leaders of the 21st century, and as far as I can tell he actually really likes the sound of that.

Anticipating a major swing for Dems in the midterms, he's already licking Trump's ass for a SCOTUS nomination. If the DNC wins both houses, Thomas and Alito will resign on the spot and the Heritage Foundation will only have a few weeks to cram two fresh new ghouls through the confirmation process

“Lucifer in the flesh,” [John] Boehner said of Cruz during an appearance at Stanford University, according to the student newspaper. “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

I had a dream last night in which there was a christmas/celebrity crossover product called Snoop Nogg.

the cat didn't get me fuckin' shit for father's day.

advertising my bluesky account with a Simpsons image

why is this web site 50% dog death announcements

lol, jesus christ

Enjoy this video thumbnail chosen by someone at CBS News today:

How to get me to instantly disagree with your liberal opinion: begin a post by writing "This."

a deranged adjudicated mafioso kiddie raper says we are now friends with Iran, and thank god, because I was waiting for his fuckass opinion.

so literally The Swamp

Was rooting for the Knicks so you can imagine how pumped I am for NYC to score this rare win. We almost forgot about New York because they have fallen off the radar and get zero attention!

As someone who would just like to have some idea of that the motherfuck is going on in the world, I have never felt more alone.

Like, we're all aware that one of the Paul brothers will be president one day, right?

Too many people have been made to feel a little hope and happiness about the Kennedy Center name removal. Very skeptical. There's no way this sticks, this country does not allow joy anymore.

The Worksite Tarp and The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts

#caturday engagement bait while I am out of town and away from my sweet Michael

Though I am a democratic socialist with a generally mordant vibe, I am still absolutelly libbing out over this. #kennedycenter

dude disney just spend $25M on an animated Blade movie with Wesley Snipes doing the voice. teach Sunrise Studios how to draw a non-offensive black character and have them animate it.

big shout out to the guy in the first row in the new Tony Hinchcliffe “comedy” “special” wearing a t shirt and top hat.

who will play Platner on snl though