Ben Baker (Actually Dead The Whole Time)

Hello there, I'm Ben. I write things, produce audio and chuckle at old pop culture ephemera with my friend John. You can find links to all of the above here: linktr.ee/BenBakerBooks @thehouseofsplain.bsky.social @alfsplaining.bsky.social @pantosplaining.bsky.social @noiseboxradio.com

Do you still get chazza games for the daft kids on a par with this? You know all of them were stopping for a fag every 5 minutes.

Fancy it? noiseboxradio.com

Join me live from 8pm tonight for BEN BAKER'S OFFICIAL TOO EARLY CRAP HALLOWEEN PARTY. It's not the right day, the music is ridiculous and the host might be a vampire motorcycle. Why WOULDN'T you listen? noiseboxradio.com

NEW ALFSPLAINING ALF's shrink Larry is back to alleviate the Melmacian's bordedom - and the episode is written by heroin-fan Jerry Stahl. So it's got to be a good one, right? Just look at the screenshots!! Listen in: open.spotify.com/episode/6uLq... Listen out: linktr.ee/ALFsplaining

Has anyone burnt down @bigsort.bsky.social's castle yet for Garry's outrageous opinions on "Leader of the Pack"? Asking for a man with a big burning stick.

This is awful. Not only was he one of the best voices in the business and far too young, he actually appreciated the history and work poured into those characters over the decades. This year is just bobbins.

From the same Smash Hits as that ropey review, a lad asking for dance records to be put in a separate chart so "proper songs" like Mica Paris and Wet Wet Wet can get to the top.

40 years ago one of our hosts got a good review in Crash for a ZX Spectrum game he made. Considered lost we found it and played it - this Patreon episode is a recording of the first time he saw it in 4 decades www.patreon.com/houseofsplai... Here's a FREE preview: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkw2...

I have not doctored this image of Worzel Gummidge with a knife but it confirms my long held theory that we should kill it with fire.

I think its only fair for balance that the BBC should show nothing but the words "BE GAY, IT'S SMASHIN'" for the next 24 hours over a still of Matt Brittin's bare arse.

From the same Smash Hits as that ropey review, a lad asking for dance records to be put in a separate chart so "proper songs" like Mica Paris and Wet Wet Wet can get to the top.

Would you like to see the wrongest review of music reviews ever courtesy of Mark Frith in Smash Hits?

Whenever Kylie comes on #totp

"I know - lets rewrite Talk Tonight but make it really bad" #totp

I found it very confusing when Limp Bizkit became top hitmakers having known mostly teenagers bellowing them in shouty rooms at rock clubs. #totp

WOAH BABYLON. BABYLONNED FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU #totp

LADIES, THEIR HORMONES ARE DOING THEM DAMAGE #totp

I'm just saying 21st Century Girls was better than this. Guitars AND ALL THAT MAKEUP. #totp

Lonestar look like the teachers getting up to do a song at the end of term. And four of them have definitely been done for taking kids into the store cupboard since. #totp

"You see the trouble with me...is terrible eczema and also night terrors" #totp

PROPER MUSIC

You can actually see the machine making Macy Gray's costume at the rock shop on Blackpool front. #totp

Do fuck off with your indie landfill bullshit.

Idlewild taking away the gorgeous harmonies and keyboards from the album version and sounding like REM playing next door here. Sigh. #totp

"Don't forget to call me wanker" #totp

"He's wanking outside your window, it's Moby" #totp

"Finland's answer to Sash" So.... Fash? #totp

Mary Mary were considerably more popular than Ian Ian. #totp

45 years old and still playing Rock Star Ate My Hamster.

This needs to happen. Tell them you want this.

There this German music / comedy show that’s gone up on YouTube recently and I was watching through one going "hang on...that seems familiar" a lot. Turned out they licenced loads of "Not The Nine O'Clock News" sketch scripts. Its weirdly fascinating. www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

World's on fire, no love, no prospects...BUT I GOT A BAT MUG FOR £3 FROM ASDA SO FUCK IT.

After the 💥HIT💥 success of the Noel Edmonds episode we feel you'd like our latest episode, in which we look at the fusty faded showbiz stars of 1976 and 𝗆̶̶̶𝖺̶̶̶𝗄̶̶̶𝖾̶̶̶ ̶̶𝖿̶̶̶𝗎̶̶̶𝗇̶̶̶ ̶̶𝗈̶̶̶𝖿̶̶̶ ̶̶𝗍̶̶̶𝗁̶̶̶𝖾̶̶̶𝗆̶̶̶ celebrate them. 🙏Please - repost and share with your friends and enemies.🙏 www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLEa...

I see Ladbaby won the Mercury Music Prize AGAIN.

This is me at a bonfire aged around 5. I have to assume there are at least several family members on it.

This still from #Taskmaster makes it look like ALF is being worshipped as a god.

I bet everyone's into ALF now he's been on #Taskmaster - well, @alfsplaining.bsky.social got there first, ok? Also pls like and subscribe.

So proud to be involved with this in a small way - can't wait for it to come out! shop.bfi.org.uk/the-goons-at...

Why is there this "kids wont know about the old things" nonsense still around when literally the entire world is out there and researchable in seconds. Also: that comparison doesn’t work at all, you twat.

NICE ONE CYRIL NICE ONE SON NICE ONE CYRIL LETS HAVE ANOTHER WAR OI!

FIRST LOOK at the new House Of Splain TV and cinema ad Full episode: youtu.be/HLEaWeScIAI

I'm hopefully taking a six-month work sabbatical to write a book about Pulp! But only if I can hit my goal on Kickstarter. So, please consider backing, or even better share with people who love Pulp as much as I do.

Hendrix. Kramer. Paddington. Cynthia did all the top bad boys of the era.

Finally getting round to the complete Madman / Atomics run and I absolutely adore it. There's such a warm, joyful tone to it all and I'll be gutted when it ends. Can anyone recommend anything else in a similar vein?

Best episode of Look Around You ever. Follow @thehouseofsplain.bsky.social to find out more about why people are sending us these.

Totally missed this had been released. I wish I'd come up with this idea! Bastards :D

This is me at a bonfire aged around 5. I have to assume there are at least several family members on it.

So they've confirmed Glee is coming back. Now I will hold my hand up and say I really liked season one, maybe even season two before it went completely off the boil. I do not want to see where those characters are now, especially as three of them are dead. Fuck regionals, make something new.

The House of Splain will be in attendance! Come it.