Ju

when my tummy rumbles weirdly i call that poopy praytime

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!! Desert Bus for Hope 2026, the 20th year of Desert Bus! I hope y'all are ready for what promises to be the greatest show on Earth featuring a bus. What mischief, excitement, wonder and hilarity have we cooked up for this most auspicious year? Head to desertbus.org right now!

❤️ MUST ask first date questions! ❤️ ❤️ Do you disavow the Muslim Brotherhood? ❤️ Have you disavowed the Muslim Brotherhood? ❤️ Will you disavow the the Muslim Brotherhood? ❤️ When will you disavow the Muslim Brotherhood?

Thanks everyone for catching the Desert Bus for Hope 2026 Preview Show, and helping us cruise past 13 Million Dollars Raised for Child's Play Charity! Donations are live, the prize schedule is up, and previous years' merch is up on the store. We'll see you next week, on October 23rd, at 4PM PDT.

So you’re telling me there isn’t a magic trap door in my brain through which I can make the bad feeling disappear? Those things are all still down there? Wriggling around like it’s an eel pit? What am I gonna do with all these eels??

Need someone to zap me every time I start to pick at my skin. Regular therapy’s cool and humane and all but I need to be conditioned like a lab rat

Government funded anti-drug ad that says chemicals have no home in your brain… Alright then. Say goodbye to your neurotransmitters

with this one simple trick i can turn quickly going potty into an impressive 30 minutes of cleaning up the kitchen without ever going to the toilet!

Up to some mischief tonite. Feeding my sourdough starter an edible

Pissing in all of my pants preemptively to prepare for Halloween

Frolicking around in the minefield #justgirlythings

Is that a banana in your pants or are you just happy to see me? It better be a banana or you’re gonna have a terrible time when my hungry ass gets down there

Popping bottles in my eyes. Fuck ow

I’m riding her shit crazy style. Spinning around on that shit. Chasing my own tail. Busting moves

I give up. Computer, make me a dog

My adhd meds were upped and i chugged two cups of coffee wjth it can u tell

My two modes is poop humor and whatever the other one is

The toilet is an echo chamber for shit and fart. I like it there. I feel validated there

Sorry for flexing my IQ score every chance I get it’s literally my only redeeming quality and it doesn’t even do me any good it just sounds impressive im sorry okay

Don’t take an IT course in 2026 guys don’t even bother

Haul your ass into a pew and behold the glory of chatgpteezus

My instructor just showed off how he uses chatppt to generate exam questions. It’s so over

I wanna be a dog i wanna piss on someone’s nice expensive shoes

Don’t let anyone tell you that being gifted will take you far. Get it absolutely twisted. Your shit’s all fucked up. You’re not going anywhere bud

Get the experience of living on the ground floor with this one cool trick! Your-housing-corporation-is-building-surprise-scaffolding-around-your-apartment-building-without-prior-notice will give you the discomfort of people walking by your window, right from your third floor window!

One bean to rule them all One bean to find them One bean to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

just came to the harrowing realization that the Ice Age movie that i thought was the first Ice Age movie was in fact not the first, and the first one is the one with the human baby, which is how i found out because i don't recall ever seeing a human baby in Ice Age

i posted another video check it out :) im create content im trying my best youtu.be/I83wr1kHENE

If I could go back in time I wouldn’t kill anyone I’d just become an actress in FMV games because I really wanna do that. That’s all there’s no joke.

youtu.be/Mf1vpaxTd_o?...

i'm doing some insane shit today for my 2 year twitch anniversary. (warning: there is drinking, but not in excess) www.twitch.tv/birbiegorl

I am what door-to-door salesmen think they are. But the goods I’m selling are access to my big beautiful brain. Count yourself lucky if I knock, bitch

I’m an enigma because tell me how I can completely hate myself and think I’m nothing while also knowing I’m incredible and brimming with potential

Not to brag or anything but I might have a potential job on the horizon at last

Dutch gambling laws are a joke. They're out here shutting down games with (optional) gacha in them but don't worry there's a casino right around the corner and also here's a billion ads begging you to gamble on an online website

So they’re just gonna make mofusand x godzilla plushies and have them not ship outside of the US? That’s what we’re doing now? This is a hate crime I’m going to suck the asbestos out of a popcorn ceiling

considering the way that i am as a person it's kind of a miracle that i've never watched Glee until now

anyone else's youtube just put all text in italics for some reason?

That one harvard study that says chatgpt talks like dutch/german people is right cause frankly we’re all full of shit and you probably shouldn’t take anything we say seriously

Nosejobs are on the rise and I don’t understand it. It’s a little horrific to think about. Even if your nose is big enough that it would have potential, I just can’t imagine wanting someone to try and slip their penis into a nostril.

Midnight cereal doesn’t count towards your calorie intake for the day. Fact

After scrolling my own posts i did not find the post i was looking for (i know there’s more effective ways to find them shut up) but I did remember that I’m lowkey kinda funny so you’re welcome for the reposts

Someone talk to me please im so lonely (My poison sac ungulates invitingly)

Me: (Slapping the hood of my car) I can assure you this bad girl is absolutely FULL of car bones. Buyer: You mean carbon? Carbon steel? Carbon emissions? Me: (Slapping the hood even harder) What are those?

If you discover a crawlspace you didn’t know about under your house, DO NOT enter it. DO NOT post a tiktok about it. And most importantly DO NOT leave it open. I can’t stand the draft coming in here, Janet. Please close it properly next time.