Birdonic

Keep rolling 3-Star Peanuts and Walters in the Jeff Dunham autobattler gacha game and with no pity system on pulls the clock is running out on me nabbing the elusive 6-star legendary Achmed

In India the Beatles said they were smaller than Buddha, which made nobody mad because its widely accepted that Buddha is a big guy

Biden's DOJ for four years:

Im sorry I called you L Goons bro. I was heated. You are w faps all the way.

"Would you love me if I were a worm?" No. Worms live on average 1-2 years. That makes each and every one of them underage. And I ain't no damn diddyblud bruh.

Clifford the Big Red Dog was probably dropping car-sized dog turds several times a day everywhere he went. Whole family and town probably smelled like shit and got sick a lot. It's all just fun and games in the books though.

Why Nacho Libre Is The Best Film About Diaspora Ever Made

I'm not a bigot but proper Pokemon ownership is between a trainer and a Pokemon. If some Pokemon want to have a civil union between themselves that is their business, but we must respect the sanctity of training.

We all know It made Christians really mad when John Lennon said The Beatles were bigger than Jesus but its been forgotten that this statement also upset atheists at the time because implying that Jesus had physical dimensions at all validated his existence.

They say the reason socialists are doing so well in New York elections is because they've captured the city's largest demographic... *squints at notecard* the illegitimate bastard children of West Elm Caleb! *audience laughs* *I shrug and move on*

When model trains were being demoed for the first time people had never seen anything like them before so the first audience thought the model trains were coming right at them. And they were but due to their miniaturized scale there were no serious consequences.

Letterboxd reviewers love to say "wow. I've really never seen anything like this before." Yeah you were seeing a new movie, genius!

At this point I think THIS guy would be a better president than the dude we got right now 🤦‍♂️

When audiences saw a porno for the first time they had never seen anything like it before so when they saw a train being run on the performer they thought it was coming at them next.

Bolsonaro streaming on Kick with the Pollution Monster from Ferngully

It looks like Lula got a "brazillion" votes in that election today 😆 I don't care who you are that's funny right there. We can all laugh at that, democrat or republican.

Game Freak employee watches the midterm election results roll in and slides a file titled even_more_racist_jynx_evolution.jpeg into the recycle bin

I actually juuuuuust talked to the Amazon rainforest and it turns out literally every single tree is a Giving Tree and they desperately want us to utilize them for commerce

When the savannah bananas win a game instead of pouring gatorade on their coach in the locker room they give him a bukkake to be silly

Ethan Klein was cheating on his wife with... Jelly Roll?! o.0 that is just plain wrong! *vine voice* what the helllllllll

Just lost custody of my tamagotchis

They were playing too much when they named a bird a Tit Mouse... do NOT show me that orthinologist's browser history

Ed Sheeran wearing a fake mustache: y'all aint it crazy how fast we all forgave Ed Sheeran

I hate gay Halloween, what do you mean you're the person reading this?

I felt bad for not liking Nirvana the Band the Show the Movie. I kept waiting for it to get a laugh out of me but it felt like the parts of a nostalgia critic review where he fights with his evil twin or some other such sketch.

Just got back from "You Can See Everything". I did think it was clever that they revealed it was a play the whole time, that's classic Nathan, but man he looked a lot like Tom Cruise I thought.

Centrists: We believe both sides of the Fappening, the leakers and the celebrities, were in the wrong.

Jeff Dunham vs Jeffrey Dahmer

I held a charity 5k for people with ADHD but none of them showed up on time due to their poor time management skills.

PSA 10 first edition your boy is retiring early

I saw Malfoid on a date with Justin Trudeau. She was just pretending to be conservative. Never meet your heroes.

tw// rp yumeship Raceplay with JonTron - Kyaaaaaahh (,,>﹏<,,) *nosebleeds*

If you are a based Republican like me, don't forget to write in "Malfoid" for all candidates on your midterm ballots! Let's send a message!

Getting sent to the principals office is bad enough but putting the Joker into the mix takes things from bad to worse.

When you see the police, it's Paramount you Warn a Brother about your Discovery before they eMerge!

When a white on white crime is about to happen to me but lowkirkenuinely its ok because I can instantly disable the assailant by saying the key words "how to save a life scrubs"

It's so over based bros. I just saw Malfoid walking out of Planned Parenthood

It's nice to see some big geniuses out there are still asking the big questions.

What Ed Sheeran thinks he looks like fighting antisemitism

When audiences saw a 3D movie for the first time they were only used to 2D ones so they thought the objects coming at them weren't real which tragically cost thousands of lives.

We are ALL lining up at Spirit Halloween this weekend to get our Digger costumes before it becomes the most popular movie in America and they go out of stock immediately.

Sorry G4 but it's JAPANESE GAMES ONLY for the Real Ones like me

"I'm still choosing Texas over you." Well, I don't mean to be rude miss Langley. But I reckon if you spent a day under the sea in a town called Bikini Bottom, you juuuuuust might wind up like a certain squirrel from your neck of the woods who put her roots down here for good. -The Country Fish

It's so easy being green you'd have to be a worthless dumb little puppet to find this shit challenging in any way.

I should be used to it by now but it's still hard to accept the president is just a guy who talks shit all day now 😅

Someone once asked me if I'd rather have $1 or $1,000,000. I said I'd take the $1. When all you have is a single dollar it makes you hungry. It makes you stay motivated. It makes you grind harder. The man who took the million has already spent it all. But you are just getting started.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfZD... This is the worst song I've ever heard in an anime they fucked this up so bad 😅

I tried listening to the new JoJo opening but the part where they played r*p was so aggressive and overstimulating I had to pause the video and put on some Steampowered Giraffe to calm down. Maybe Netflix should consider replacing the song considering how many anime fans have sensory issues.

That mean old motherfucker Donald Trump took it too far this time, CNN and MSNBC is bad but he really banned Autotune the News?

It's hard to understand now but back in the day The Beatles saying they were bigger than Jesus was like if today they said they were bigger than Ultra Instinct Goku.