Funny Twitter Name

I keep getting “<STOCK> has hit 1 month low” notifications That doesn’t feel like a good thing.

Trump is this odd figure in the Republican Party. There are going to be people that idolize him as a godlike figure the same way they do Ronald Reagan. He’s probably done more damage than Reagan has too.

A regular Pringle’s can will do the same job

Even if you’re unhappy about your daily life

@themountaingoats.bsky.social just found out you were coming to the hall of fame tomorrow. Sad I’m gonna miss it. Have a good show!

Wow! Old!

He’s gonna start sending autistic people to work camps

My dream job is running a local video rental store in 1996

Why are they called “toddlers”? Do they toddle?

Objective reality has a left-wing bias

Cool idea: Band named “The Humans” Only plays furry conventions

Got a cool new candidate to run if #SCOTUS determines “presidential immunity” is legitimate #politics

Smokin’ darts and ripping farts #blessed

He washed feet.

Commercials are so stupid nowadays. I just watch a dude bribe his way into a club with a package of Chips Ahoy.

Do I have astigmatism or are everyone’s headlights way too fucking bright?

How can you say this video is the best football plays “of all time” when all time hasn’t happened yet? Maybe wait for time to be over before making that claim.

Impractical Jokers on mute is a surreal experience. Just a bunch of people with wacky reactions and zero context.

Is 0 an even number?

The year is 2030. That’s all.

Web 3.0 isn’t NFTs. It’s the future where every companies APIs cost so much money that they become a substantial part of social media budgets.

You ever have those random #CS2 lobbies where the whole team clicks and everything goes perfect and then the server just fucking closes

Guy Fieri: Alright people, we’re here at Guy’s Grocery Games. What do you got for us? Me: I made Velveeta Shells & Cheese.

You may be nerdy, but are you nerdy enough to be the token white dude in a black movie?

Retire? Don’t worry about me. I plan on being murdered in 2040 in a terrorist attack perpetrated by a group whose rise to power was facilitated by the current genocide in Gaza

Why the fuck does every company think I want to read their email newsletter? My inbox is so full of useless shit now.

So like, people who aren’t interested in interracial dating want a kid that looks like them (assuming they want kids), specifically in their race/skin color. My question is, why is that the most important thing? You kid is gonna look like you no matter what. Teach them to be a good person.

Eyyy! I’m from New York. My pronouns are dey/dem. Fugeddaboudit