Bitsy Von Muffling

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Alison looks bloody amazing on tonight's #gbbo

These Trent back to Liverpool rumours...is it just gossip or have any credible sources suggested it's possible? I don't know how I feel about it tbh. Instinct tells me it's not a great idea. But facts?

Ah my cat used to have a little bestie and they'd sit side by side in the garden for hours but the other cat hasn't been around for ages and I'm sad because it's a lovely little thing and I hope it's ok but also because my cat seems sad and he's been dead clingy lately 😢

I'm gonna seize the Zyte-g-eye-st and then I'll let you know

Impossible for *you* 💅

Sorry to piss on bonfires but the Michael Owen "quote" was not on the BBC website live reporting. It wasn't there in real time (sadly I was looking at it) and it's not there now. I suppose it's possible he said it but that screenshot doing the rounds has been edited.

No shade intended towards Harry Kane here, but I don't think England has been "waiting" for a Balloon D'Or winner. In fact, I suspect most sane people don't give it a moment's thought. It's like the Mercury Music Prize - nice for the winner but no-one actually cares?

No idea who who is but I also now hate him. (But also, did he survive the choking?)

You should get one free murder every time someone uses the phrase "making memories". You can have that one for free, Andy Burnham.

Name names.

Liz Truss is actually mad isn't she? And you know what, I don't even blame her for not realising she's bonkers because it probably goes with the territory. But how was she actually at the heart of government for *TEN YEARS*?

My main personality trait is that I will watch any iteration of Robin Hood and about 90% of them very much do it for me. (Have the Michael Praed version in itv4 rn 😍)

Watching MOTD on delay and yknow what? Good on the United fans making it clear to the players what they thought. I'm not sure Carrick is a good manager but his tactics aren't responsible for those awful individual mistakes today and he's been professional instead of bitching in interviews.

I think Ronnie the Red is satisfying my craving for a massive lunatic.

Well at least Ineos is doing well.

100% this. Everyone is a cunt on cocaine. There are no exceptions to this. If they think they are, they’re like the smoker who thinks they don’t stink.

After years of work in hospitality I’ve come to quite a considered view of cocaine . It’s taken by bellends. They then become bigger bellends. Nothing complicated or nuanced. Just that.

Who on earth considered it a middle class drug?

It's finally stopped raining and I'm debating sticking washing on the line to benefit from the absolute tornado that's wreaking havoc out there but I don't think number 24 deserves to be picking my bloomers out of their rosebush.

I remember my first clock change as a new mum.

We all Villa fans today, yes?

Randomly, Della Bovey and her red dress popped into my mind so I've just spent half an hour reading up on her, Grant and Anthea and I probably have too much time in my hands.

That Daily Mail "journo" who's been his mate for years must be feeling pretty sick now mustn't she? Lol, as if.

This is so bad. Really awful behaviour.

Oh I'm shocked. Shocked. Just terribly shocked.