colton

open.substack.comMomentsA Reflection on ten years, fifty years, and for when time doesn't seem to slow down.

10 Apr

Replying to @bittersnail.bsky.social

Vibes are bad enough, you know, kinda everywhere. So I didn't say much about the 2026 Mariners this week. I'll leave that to everyone else for now. open.substack.com/pub/onelinet...

31 Aug

Yelp review guys are the worst of society. The good news is that it’s very easy to read all of their stupid reviews

Wes Burdine@wesburdine.bsky.social

AND LIKE CLOCKWORK He left a review

31 Aug

That’s right, Jerry. Keep smashing that big red button big fella

Nathan HawkBlogger@nathanhb.bsky.social

Laz Montes call up lmao

30 Aug

Mariner.

Ian Rapoport@rapsheet.bsky.social

The Titans are releasing G Cordell Volson, who joined them this offseason. Former Bengals fourth-rounder.

30 Aug

Whoops sorry, entered a fugue state for just a second

29 Aug

Would be very funny if they went down this year lol

14 Aug

The Seattle Mariners have dominated the Houston Astros for basically two calendar years, including going 9-5 in Houston over that stretch. The Mariners absolutely must sweep the Astros this weekend if they want any sniff of the postseason. Call your loved ones. Make your peace. The end is near.

28 Aug

The Seattle Mariners and Toronto Blue Jays are cosmically linked. We can't seem to quit one another. Soul mates floating across the universe in constant battle. The Mariners absolutely must sweep the Blue Jays if they want to make the playoffs. Call your love ones. Hug your kids. The end is near

nytimes.comReds slugger Eugenio Suárez, outfielder TJ Friedl available on waivers: Sources (Gift Article)The moves, at least in part, are an attempt by the Reds to save money.

27 Aug

I mean. Cmon.

Ken Rosenthal@ken-rosenthal.bsky.social

Sources: Reds slugger Eugenio Suárez, outfielder TJ Friedl available on waivers. Story, unlocked and free to read: www.nytimes.com/athletic/754...

27 Aug

Talking about Friedl obviously

26 Aug

Wow, trying to upstage the Kastner Cup now, are we Adrian?????

Sounder at Heart@sounderatheart.com

Adrian Hanauer releases open letter. Annual business meeting will be on Sept 26, before game against Minnesota United.

colton reposted

26 Aug

I’m all for Cal Raleigh smacking lasers over the right field wall for the next month. You will have to hold me at gunpoint to watch every game though

Alright. I’m trying this new thing where I remember I can control my own emotions and not let outside factors affect my mood. So let’s play a game of positivity. Winning a series against CHC is good, winning a series against PHI would be good.

Alright, now that bullshit is out of the way, if they come back from Boston any less than 4-2 the season is still over and we still all fell for it again.

My Quant (it was Ian, Ian is my quant) told me if he keeps this pace up he’ll finish with “like 103” home runs. #Historic

ian@ahandleforian.bsky.social

The crazy thing is if Cal keeps hitting three homeruns a game for the rest of the season he will have more than last year

I’m sorry but if Cal Raleigh is actually back, that might save the season. 0-7 6Ks and a walk over the next two days it is then 👍👍

24 Aug

Wow a huge win. You have to think that soccer in East Texas still has so far to go before their academies can compete with MLS equivalents

Sounder at Heart@sounderatheart.com

Gang, the Sounders Academy 2011s beat Paris FC 9-3 today. Not a typo.

colton reposted

23 Aug

Can’t even be happy the Sounders scored because of how pissed off I am that Cincinnati was just called “the east coast” fucking reel it in man

23 Aug

But just in case you were curious, the deal is rumored to be around 7,869,276,000 Iraqi Dinar

Sounder at Heart@sounderatheart.com

Callum Williams specifies the Joveljić deal is in “US dollars.”

16 Aug

God damn I needed this

VHS@vanhicklestein.bsky.social

Cubs broadcast calls Joshua Báez's 3 home runs in his major league debut 🎙️ Jon Sciambi 🎨 Jim Deshaies 📺 MARQ #stlcards

15 Aug

Holy shit Joshua Baez

15 Aug

I went back to watch Jerry's press availability after they lost in the ALCS, and just want to appreciate how funny the barista who made his coffee that day was. Choosing to believe the cartoonish "Enjoy!" was directly pointed towards us.

14 Aug

14 Aug

Shitty baseball team. Shitty week. Shitty month. Shitty year. I'm off to touch some grass, or something.

12 Aug

Baseball may be dead or dying, the Mariners may be toast, and I may feel more disillusioned at the general state of things than I ever have been, but I got a really good chuckle out of "Paul Sewald: Toronto Blue Jay"

12 Aug

I unironically texted a friend "Maybe this season is the wake up call the organization needs" before remembering that I have said that going into the last five off-seasons.

nyti.msUniversity of Michigan Will Ease Up on Grades for Student Mental HealthThe University of Michigan will make first-semester grades pass or fail, to encourage students to try different classes and lessen fears of what a low grade could mean.

11 Aug

Here, let me translate this headline into Buckeye for you: “The University of Michigan will replace traditional letter grades for some first-semester freshmen with a pass/fail-style grade, in an effort to foster the culture of cowardice led by Kyle Whittingham since his arrival in Ann Arbor”

The New York Times@nytimes.com

The University of Michigan will replace traditional letter grades for some first-semester freshmen with a pass/fail-style grade, to encourage students to try different classes and lessen fears of what a low grade could mean.

11 Aug

Do you really want to know who the most overrated baseball player is??? That’s right, it’s your favorite player.

9 Aug

Ross Bjork hop on meet at midfield forums you coward

Matt Brown@mattbrown.bsky.social

I'm sure it's totally normal and fine and good that BYU's athletic department has decided now is the time to start posting on the biggest BYU fan message board

Didn't need that reminder of how much everything sucks now, but fun to relive anyways

Sounders FC@soundersfc.com

“We did it like a family, like a team. We did a great job.” 💚 A Sounders FC legend. Enjoy your retirement, Nico!

7 Aug

bsky.app/profile/fran...

Frank MacDonald@frankmsounders.bsky.social

#OTD 2013 – In Sounders' biggest signing to date, Clint Dempsey, captain & star of USMNT, comes home to America. Dempsey returns from England after U.S.-record 57 goals with Fulham & Tottenham of the Premiership. His 35 goals for the USMNT ranks No. 2 all-time.

I regret to inform you all that I woke up this morning compelled to write something about the Seattle Mariners.

7 Aug

It’s hard to properly convey the amount of mental anguish this put me in. Three day long existential crisis and right now I’m starting at three paragraphs I’ve re-written 8 times.

Fuuuuuuck offffff, dude.

Sounder at Heart@sounderatheart.com

Schmetzer: “Am I concerned? Of course. But look at the end of the day, could we have won the game? Maybe. The men's hockey team in nineteen eighty beat us beat the Russians. And we beat Miami last year in Leagues Cup final. We were the underdogs. So things like that can happen.”

Feelin Dersy

Pretty confusing and scary day for people who get Hugh Weber and Wade Webber confused, huh?

Rest of the Season is a laugh. Honestly makes me exponentially more excited about it, no expectations! I hope they start drawing 15k a game and you can hear Brian yelling from the stands

This post is unavailable.

I dunno, sorry, I’ve always been a proponent of “If you’re going to be bad just completely bottom out and try again later.” The worst thing that could’ve happened this season already happened, who cares anymore?

(Adrian leaked this to Sportico so you aren’t paying attention to them getting absolutely pummeled by Toluca by the way)

sportico.comSeattle Sounders, Reign Exec Weber Named Edmonton Oilers CEOHugh Weber has held a slew of executive roles across the NBA, NHL and other associated businesses.

Jeremiah Oshan@jeremiah.sounderatheart.com

Shit is about to get really interesting… www.sportico.com/personalitie...

Hot start!

Seattle Sounders FC Alliance Council@sfcalliancecouncil.bsky.social

The Sounders have resolved the issue with Jump and will be sending an email this morning to impacted members outlining the resolution, offering an apology, and providing next steps. The Sounders will provide impacted members with a $50 loaded value credit.

Wait a minute. The Dodgers moved to California????

Razzball@razzball.bsky.social

Tarik Skubal's on the Dodgers? When did that happen?