Owen Crute

Listen to @boontavista.com

Bro c'mon no just put the apple on your head, bro please you said you'd help! If I don't practise all the ren faire babes are gonna make fun of me again bro, they're all gonna be like 'methinks this squire hath once more beefed it' and laugh behind their handkerchiefs. Bro please!

sticks are lowkey goated when poking is the vibe

D'you think it was distracting at the Last Supper to have Michaelangelo just sorta standing there, painting them?

the harsh light of day has a well-known left-wing bias

If you don't want your nickname to be 'Buttsoft', why do you keep on telling us what light through yonder window breaks, huh?

If you're very bad at Japanese, Greek and Spanish 'Nosferatu' means 'of your balls' and I think that's beautiful

This*is* my first rodeo, actually, but it's okay, I'll be fine as long as no clowns show up, haha