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“The idea that one must be alive to serve as labor secretary is outdated and rooted in reverse racism. I mean, what does the Secretary of Labor even do?" Karoline Leavitt asked a reporter. www.instagram.com/p/DMiV6_wgHTX/

Hulk Hogan To Remain As Secretary Of Labor Following His Death:

“We’re currently looking at a tiered model. You could have things like no engine fires in the top tier; A tier below that could be up to one engine fire, maybe some explosions; And then a tier below that will be our original ‘Anything Goes’ policy.” www.instagram.com/p/DMYCLdjA1oK/

Delta Airlines Begins Charging Additional Fee For Non-Flaming Flights: www.bluffpost.com/p/delta-to-b...

The officer expressed the toll that the job has taken on his mental health: “I’ve got a family at home, and now I have to break the news to them that we need to find a new Mexican take-out spot. I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life.” www.instagram.com/p/DMV4AuwyyH0/

ICE Officer Politely Waits For Food Truck To Finish His Order Before Deporting Cook: www.bluffpost.com/p/ice-office...

Trump, desperate to evade the spotlight of the recent backlash, is trying anything and everything to distract the media. Just today, he displayed his newly acquired nose and belly button piercings in public and shouted the n-word at a blade of grass. www.instagram.com/p/DMOOZ0vyips/

“There is no Epstein list, and even if there was, there’s probably a lot of phony stuff in there. And who’s to say what’s true? It’s all she said, I said.” Trump told a group of reporters in the Oval Office on Wednesday. www.bluffpost.com/p/trump-seri...

Trump Addresses Failure To Release Epstein List:

BREAKING NEWS: Former Vice President Dick Cheney Tragically Found Alive At Age 84 www.bluffpost.com/p/former-vic...

No one was more shocked to hear the news than Cheney himself: “I thought I’d died and reached hell ever since we had that black president. You mean to tell me that was real?” www.instagram.com/p/DMIrZFFg8ff/

“My only fear is that the ‘boys’ are too stupid to partake in self-reflection of any form. I’d be surprised if they ever felt guilt, remorse, contrition, or really anything beyond being drunk,” stated former President Barack Obama. www.instagram.com/p/DL-qyLMS-ky/

Nelk Boys Reportedly Host Netanyahu On Podcast: www.bluffpost.com/p/nelk-boys-...

“Please lower your water consumption, your electricity usage, your breathing. We must redirect these resources to AI in order to save the human race.” www.instagram.com/p/DL5ZVu-vWyG/

"In order to get to that point, however, OpenAI estimates it will need $180 billion from investors and the construction of 15 more AI super data centers, which are estimated to increase AI water consumption by 70,000%." www.bluffpost.com/p/sam-altman...

DOJ Finds No Evidence That Jeffrey Epstein Wasn't Actually A Chill Guy Once You Got To Know Him

"The department has released hours of declassified footage as part of its review. In the footage, Epstein can be seen reclining in a lounge chair, sipping on what appears to be a strawberry daiquiri." www.instagram.com/p/DL2lMR1gV5J/

“If Trump put this Matthew Tillerman guy in charge of FEMA, then I’m sure he’s more than capable! I trust him!” shouted an unnamed drowning civilian as he floated by. www.instagram.com/p/DLyG3XWSlpD/

Trump responds to questions about FEMA cuts : www.bluffpost.com/p/fema-now-j...

"With the death count rising, Texas’s hopes now lie in the capable hands of Matthew Tillerman and his rope and life jacket." www.bluffpost.com/p/fema-now-j...

“Sometimes you have to settle for a bill that’s not perfect, but has some of what you’re looking for. You can’t keep holding out for the perfect bill to come along and swoop you off your feet. Stuff like that only happens in fairytales,” said Senator John Thune. www.instagram.com/p/DLqRQ5ES4PW/

As Trump Prepares To Sign The 'Big, Beautiful Bill,' Reports Say He's Keeping His Options Open: www.bluffpost.com/p/trump-alre...

“He could’ve jumped in front of the plane or called up his Muslim friends and told them they’re flying too low. But, no. He didn’t even run into the burning buildings to save anyone. Those people, their blood is on his hands.” www.instagram.com/p/DLibwXvSUa_/

Eye Witness: 'Mamdani Did Nothing, Just Watched As The Towers Fell'

Supreme Court Rules 'No Takesies Backsies' For Asian Migrants Deported To Costa Rica www.bluffpost.com/p/supreme-co...

“يسعدني أن أعلن، بالتعاون مع رئيس الوزراء، أننا اتفقنا على وقف إطلاق نار غير محدد سيؤدي إلى سلام عظيم لشعبينا.' It’s unclear what the Ayatollah was trying to say, but it certainly wasn’t English." www.instagram.com/p/DLSojo5gEfU/

Israel-Iran Sign Historic 50 Second Ceasefire www.bluffpost.com/p/israel-ira...

"Bluff will continue to report on the Iran War decision once we receive our “Level 5 Premium-Deluxe” membership card, which is expected to arrive by mail in two weeks." www.bluffpost.com/p/white-hous...

Bluff will continue to report on the Iran War decision once we receive our “Level 5 Premium-Deluxe” membership card, which is expected to arrive by mail in two weeks. www.instagram.com/p/DLIqe9JSd0m/

White House Puts Iran War Decision Behind Paywall: www.bluffpost.com/p/white-hous...

Netanyahu: “I Had No Choice But To Strike Iran, We Ran Out Of Gazans” www.bluffpost.com/p/netanyahu-...

Trump Announces Juneteenth Reparations For Descendants Of Slaveholders: www.bluffpost.com/p/trump-anno...

"The parade is already in motion, as hundreds show up to line the streets of DC, and Trump administration officials begin passing out free armbands." www.bluffpost.com/p/trump-just...

"The parade is already in motion, as hundreds show up to line the streets of DC, and Trump administration officials begin passing out free armbands." www.instagram.com/p/DK5SBafSyoG/

Trump Just Wishes His Fuhrer Was Alive To See This:

US Sergeant Redd Grant believes it will be a smooth transition: “I served in Iraq starting back in 04, it’s really no different than battling brown people domestically. I’ve always said Muslims are like the Mexicans of the Middle East.” www.bluffpost.com/p/us-troops-...

US Sergeant Redd Grant believes it will be a smooth transition: “I served in Iraq starting back in 04, it’s really no different than battling brown people domestically. I’ve always said Muslims are like the Mexicans of the Middle East.” www.instagram.com/p/DK2c_qFPVaD/

U.S. Troops Graduate From L.A. Training Camp To Begin Fighting Brown People Abroad www.bluffpost.com/p/us-troops-...

Mitch McConnell Shows First Sign Of Movement Since He Froze At A Press Event Two Years Ago

"At 2:07 PM and 11 seconds, McConnell’s left eye blinked slowly for all to see. 'Glory be! Glory be unto all!' shouted Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) before dropping to his knees and making the sign of the cross over his chest." www.bluffpost.com/p/mitch-mcco...

"At 2:07 PM and 11 seconds, McConnell’s left eye blinked slowly for all to see. 'Glory be! Glory be unto all!' shouted Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) before dropping to his knees and making the sign of the cross over his chest." www.instagram.com/p/DKzjE-Fg0XW/

“Finally I can grow my intestinal microbiome without being exposed to the harmful effects of fluoride consumption,” Kennedy told the crowd. www.instagram.com/p/DKvGE2FSlNT/

RFK Jr Tells CDC To Start Recommending Non-Fluorinated Poop Water

While bleeding out, Chuck Schumer pleaded to the press: “Quick! In my front shirt pocket; There’s a strongly worded letter! Take it and bring it to Trump, at once! The diction will bring an end to this tyrannical regime!” Schumer shouted as he faded into oblivion. www.instagram.com/p/DKsOj0kyX17/

“Moves like this are a purposefully inflammatory attempt to garner media attention so we lose focus from the real issues,” Sen. Chris Murphy told the press.

Democrats Reassure Firing Squad 'Just A Distraction'

“We don’t need the National Guard beating minorities to death and escalating tensions in the streets of Los Angeles, that’s what the LAPD is for,” Newsom stated www.instagram.com/p/DKpdjG2AnMc/

Gavin Newsom: ‘LAPD Plenty Capable Escalating Tensions, Beating Protestors, Without National Guard’