bobtedstexts.bsky.social

Sapete come si chiama il partito del primo ministro ceco capitalista e filorusso, che ha appena perso le elezioni locali? ANO. Praticamente, se chiedi l'ano in Repubblica Ceca, ti dicono sempre di sì. #jokeoftheday #czechia #politics #primeminister #local #elections #ano #anus #yes

Ma ai primi tempi della Lega Nord, Bossi aveva il c*zzo duro. E Maroni? Aveva i c*glioni duri? #leganord #italy #politics #bossi #maroni #duro

I've watched David Attenborough's documentary on gorillas and I've found out that: - Dominant gorillas are womanisers - Female gorillas have big asses but small boobs - Some male gorillas get kicked out of the group without even some porn to entertain themselves Gorillas are weirdos. #gorilla #doc

The difference between Italian and British pavements? In Italy you need to dodge dog poo, in the UK it's human vomit. #italy #uk #pavement #street #dog #poo #human #vomit

Wool is the most thermoregulating fabric. First they have foisted us pricey down, claiming it was better, and then s*itty acrylic that has no thermoregulation whatsoever, with lyocell for a premium, just because they can be industrially produced. #thermoregulation #wool #acrylic #lyocell #progress

If my friend gets a €5 discount at the supermarket or finds the sweets she likes, it makes her day. She’s happy with very little. On the other hand, there are those who own everything and still crave for more. They extract all our money, our very lifeline, and are still unhappy. #rich #happy #life

Do you know why Trump loves artificial intelligence so much? Because he doesn't have any natural one. #thought #reflection #trump #artificial #natural #intelligence

Putin has removed all restrictions on strikes on Ukraine. So now their philosophy reads as "Destroy everything you can". And they feel right in doing so. Now tell me just ONE good reason why you should kill mothers, children, rescuers, electricians, and firemen. #russia #ukraine #war #civilian #kill

"Individuals all different, all wanting different things, all knowing different things, all loving different things, all looking different... That is what I love: the differentness..." said Diane Arbus. A century down the line, we all seem to have forgotten it. #quote #citation #difference #arbus

So many young people are already disabled nowadays. You see them standing still on escalators, often also ok the way down. And I would like to ask them:"I'm so sorry for you. When did you lose the use of your legs?" #thoughtoftheday #reflection #youth #disability #escalator #progress #laziness

Cmq quelli che votano la destra sono persone normalissime, con un nome e c*glione come tutti gli altri. #pun #jokeoftheday #rightwing #voter #normal #people

I wonder about the cognitive dissonance within Sacha Baron Cohen's mind. Being so caustically critical of American hypocrisies, and yet retaining no capacity whatsoever to see the way more obvious genocide his country is perpetrating and that the whole world is aware of. #borat #genocide #gaza #bias

Gli idraulici sono noti per trombarsi le casalinghe, e gli installatori di condizionatori invece, che fanno? Le pompe di calore. #dadjoke #pun #plumber #housewife #sex #acinstaller #heatpump

The most beautiful city in the UK? Swansea. They already said that Swan Lake is a masterpiece, let alone Swansea. #dadjoke #pun #swansea #swanlake #beautiful

Taking Scottish Highlands' purest Water and placing it in a plastic bottle is like taking a Michelin star chef dish and placing it in a dog bowl. #scottish #water #michelinstar #chef #dogbowl

The justification of Russian aggression on Ukraine with the excuse that Putin "has been provoked" sounds like the justification of a man raping a woman for the same reason. #russia #ukrainewar #aggression #rape

They've replaced friends with meetups, nights with friends with events, and children with pets. They've built an artificial world around us, made of fake relationships, no commitment, and temporary enjoyment. And we don't even question it. #thought #reflexion #meetup #event #pets #artificial #life

Io temo che gli facciamo Ilmaz. #nationsleague #football #men #italy #turkey

Would you rather have a stylish dog or a doggy style? #jokeoftheday #dadjoke #pun #dog #doggystyle

What do religions and American teenage horror movies have in common: the moment you have casual sex, you're out. Bottom line: no sex before marriage. #thoughtoftheday #casual #sex #marriage #religion #horror #movie

What's the Italian sense of humour like? I'm mean, but I don't mean it. #jokeoftheday #dadjoke #thoughtoftheday#italian #humour #mean

Why do people get racist in winter? They don't want to go anywhere at night because it's dark. That's not nice. #dadjoke #humour #jokeoftheday #racism #night #daek

People are unable to see who's the bad guy. If someone bullies you and you react to defend yourself, Brits will side with them. Same mechanism as Putin invading Ukraine and Italians justifying him. #thoughtoftheday #bully #victim #sidewith #putin #ukrainewar

The difference between London and the rest of the world? In the rest of the world, they hate you for a reason, although questionable: because you're gay, black, or woman. In London instead, they hate everyone democratically. #thoughtoftheday #london #world #hate #racism #homophobia #misoginy

I get it: in Putin's eyes, Europe preparing to defend itself against Russia's possible invasion constitutes a threat to its capability of invading us. Make perfect sense. #geopolitics #war #putin #distortion #defense #Invasion #russia

Did you know? Putin doesn't have stairs at home, but an ESCALATOR. #jokeoftheday #pun #putin #escalation

The next train for Edge Road. Please stand back from the platform Edgware. #dadjoke #london #meteo #tube #edgware #edge

What do hospitality workers and football players have in common? They both have to work weekends. #jokeoftheday #hospitality #football #weekend #work

The population is divided into patriots and partisans. Patriota are useful idiots for totalitarian governments, being uncritical fans. Partisans instead, fight these governments to reconquer freedom for everyone. #thoughtoftheday #patriot #partisan #totalitarian #government

Idk if you've heard of this new chat for dwarves. It's called "Smalltalk". #jokeoftheday #dadjoke #dating #app #dwarf #smalltalk

Everyone knows that Ben Kingsley was Indian. But not many people know of another famous Indian actor: Tim Curry (R.I.P.). #dadjoke #jokeoftheday #timcurry#curry #indian #actor

Do you also find yourselves cursing objects around the house for falling? "You fecking deckhead, who gave you permission to fall for no reason?" #jokeoftheday #everyday #life #falling #object #curse

What's the difference between a regular man bag and a photographer's? The former has condoms, the second lens wipes. To the untrained eye, they look exactly the same. #joke #manbag #condom #lenswipe #photographer

Did you notice that despots have the most depots? #dadjoke #humour #funny #joke #despot #depot

How would you call a high-maintenance dog? A gold dogger. #jokeoftheday #dadjoke #pun #humour #funny #dog #golddigger #high-maintenance

Ghosting enthusiasts, please find yourselves another hobby, because the current one sucks! #thoughtoftheday #ghosting #passive-aggressive #avoidant

British girls wear synthetic clothes and synthetic perfumes, synthetic make-up and synthetic hair dyes, eat synthetic food and drink synthetic drinks. They live a synthetic life and they love it! #thoughtoftheday #synthetic #body #products #happy

Would you rather get aid or get laid? #pun #dadjoke #humour #funny #aid #laid

I propose replacing God with Dog. Dog is useful, whilst God does fuck all. Dog keeps you company, whilst God leaves you alone to pray. You can stroke and play with Dog, but you can't touch God. And everyone without distinction loves Dog, whilst they can't agree on which God is right. #dog #vs #god

Why are religious people so sensitive about their Dog and expect you to respect it despite the fact you never chose to believe in it? And why do they get so offended when you call it for what it is, an imaginary friend they never got past? #religion #god #sensitivity #respect #imaginaryfriend

Do you know why you shouldn't let people suffering from meteorism come too close to you? Because they need to move farter away. #dadjoke #jokeoftheday #mumjokes #pun #farther #farter #meteorism #fart

Funny thing is that people love Amazon because it's cheap, without realising it's only cheap because it dodges taxes, and we end up paying way more than the few pounds saved on their items with the tax we have to pay to make up for the missed takes by this giant. #Amazon #cheap #tax #avoidance #scam