Jacob

If the Supreme Court of yesteryear had half the wisdom of our current Justices, JFK would be alive today! @theonion.com

Manhattan Cafe when Agnes Tachyon does anything

I think it's hilarious that Nixon's legacy is defined by a conspiracy so heinous that just about every conspiracy that has ever followed it is named after it.

It's my Birthday today! 🎉 Thank you all so much for supporting me in my hobby! And as everyone knows the best gift for a cosplayer is a repost of cosplays. 👉👈

Me: Please, I just want to withdraw $40 Bank ATM: (manifesting sexy anime waifu on screen) Teehee, well hello there big spender! I’ve always been attracted to men who withdraw $40

Blade Runner: Are you a replicant? Suspect: Um — no Blade Runner: Hey! That pause was an em dash

You’re a writer? I have ideas for some great words you should include in your next book. You make it and we’ll split the profits 50/50. Promenade. Derelict. Melodious.

it is funny how many people affiliated with the secret police have had to say "stop making fun of the secret police, the guy in the tac vest that covers him like a training bra is a hero, he tracked down and subdued two hospice orderlies using only the W-2 forms they file annually"

I've been using #Typescript for 6 years now, had no idea about ??= from ES2021. It will assign a value if it is null or undefined. Neat! Instead of: if(myObj.prop === undefined) myObj.prop = value It's: myObj.prop ??= value There's also &&= and ||= but I haven't looked into those yet…

These two psychos have access to all your personal data, by the way.

Possibly the two most annoying people in the world apparently have beef now. Not sure if it's genuine, but I hope they utterly destroy each other.

They SLEEP???!!! I'M OUTRAGED. They should stay awake 24/7. That will make them productive members of society and also end poverty in the U.S. probably. Absolutely fuming that they also have fun sometimes.

Happy Pride to everyone, even the haters and those with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis

On April 4, 2025, the ETA reached out to the Governor of Pennsylvania and other state and local officials to notify them of our election integrity concerns, and to formally request hand audits of paper voting records: buff.ly/AQXZvjp At this time, we have not yet received a response.

Sorry, we broke money. It doesn’t work anymore. The green rectangles, the metal circles, they’re all busted. Doesn’t do anything at the store. We’re gonna try to get bartering started up again after we figure out how many tomatoes a house is worth

looking for answers

An interesting document is Wikipedia's edit filter for internet brainrot which gets updated if certain meme phrases are overwhelmingly used in vandalism. It started in the yolo/swag era and has evolved to the skibidi/rizz present, regularly dropping memes that are sufficiently stale (like Harambe)

Meh, those 1300 fired workers probably weren’t doing anything important at the (checks notes) uhhhhhhh Centers for Disease Control

Heard that the stadium is going out of their way to paint over the phrase "End Racism" at the end zone, and they invited President Hitler. Or something to that effect. I'm gonna #boycottNFL (ads included), and probably watch the Puppy Bowl or something instead. I don't even like football anyway tbh.

Oops 😬

*endorsed

These clearly bought publications are gonna have an increasingly difficult time painting this administration in a positive light. The best they could come up with was a shitty romance novel chapter that had nothing to do with the substance of the hearing. NYT used to be so reputable, too. SAD!

sometimes my doctor will be like “try some medicine” but then somebody somewhere else says No! which is a great thing to happen because then i know i get to solve Several Mysteries

Secret Service agents arrived yesterday at Hamline Elementary School in Chicago searching for an 11-year-old child who posted an anti-Trump video. AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD CHILD. The principal said school administrators followed protocols and denied entry to the agents.

Folks, I know it’s hard to keep up with all the hubbub about POTUS and his executive orders/legislation. Here’s a POTUS tracker that streamlines it into one link. potustracker.lukewin.es/index.html

Oh nice, they updated the old poster

Unit Circle xkcd.com/3041

Douchebag: *Gives the most unequivocal Nazi salute I have ever seen in my life, twice* Genius Body Language Analyst: Actually they were clearly just playing charades at the time. Home Alone 2 Guy: Signs 1 Billion executive orders that all say shit like "Deport everyone with blue hair and pronouns"