Bodega, Inc.

“I like big butts and I’m under oath” didn’t make the final cut for some reason.

Getting kicked out another zoo for asking the owls for their hoot takes.

A blood bank called Organ Stanley.

Onion rings. But no one answers.

A partner stoner police film: “Bud”dy Cop.

“Don’t ask what America can do for you…srsly.”

Hell hath no furry

Go 👏 watch 👏 Wildwood 👏

Sucks that so many people like me for my personality instead of my butt.

Cheque yourself before you wreque yourself.

How about daylight saves me once?

A female praying mantis is a sexecutioner.

My local chemist is selling a Sadvent Calendar. An antidepressant each day in December leading up to Christmas.

All the geese start honking like crazy at the gander reveal party.

The only vibecoding that should exist is for sex toys and game controllers.

Wearing three unicorns on my head because I didn’t fully understand the naval dresswear assignment.

If the phrase was “no breast for the wicked” then there’d be way less evil people IMO.

The direct opposite of the British singer Will Young’s name scarily has the exact same meaning: Won’t Old.

If you’re a sicko like me that enjoys cats that look like they’re having the worst day of their life, please purchase and support art and offerings from @mjjii.com, so they can continue buying more paint boards.

A fish sandwich? Don’t you mean a halibutty?

I just bought Anthropic with a penny I picked up off the floor. AMA.

I’m also all about knockers.

Your neopet is starving…for revenge.

I put the hoes into shoes.

They wouldn’t let me be a referee because I’m of the belief that all balls are foul.

Why is it called a boobjob and not a chestnut?

Documentaries: A Retrospective.

Drummer hears the sound of his wife cheating on him for the first time.

Creating an alcoholic D&D character. Vlad the Imp Ale-r.

Stevie Wonder found You Can See Everything incredibly misleading.

The medical term for throwing up is barthritis.

Pho me once, yum yum yum.

I’m so quick at coming up with wordplay that I put the pun into punctual.

Final gynaecologist exam question: Is it appropriate to say “it’s all good in the hood” at the end of the screening? YES ⬛️ NO ⬛️

Interstellar? I barely know her.

*sees beautiful woman walking by in a “I ❤️ NYC” shirt* Me: If you really love NYC, name three of their songs. Woman: But that’s impossible. Me: Just as I thought. Another poser.

Serendippindots.

Sadly, no-one liked my medical misconduct documentary idea “Back To The Suture”.

Those who don't learn from the Beastie Boys are doomed to repeat (REPEAT) it.

Humbling: To most of the world, they’re called Nike, but its parents still call them Nichael.

Friends please consider joining my Patreon, the most direct way you can support my music making. Things are though in this country. Tell you friends about if you can't join. Thanks for considering in advance. www.patreon.com/c/u49359212

Wishing my neighbour could live forever, so he can be called Perpetual Stu.

Home is where the hurt is.

Me: I consider all pixel art NSFW. Friend: Why the hell would you think that? Me: Because…they’re a little graphic.

A fucked up Doc Emmett Brown, talking to Ozzy Osbourne in 1982: Rhoads? Where we're going, we don't need Rhoads!

Why are they attempting to make new individual Beatles films? They’d already created the only one we’d needed 26 years ago.

Thanks to the radioactive leak, the grass truly is greener on the other side.

My biggest turn on for sure is an oversized power button.

Gah. So embarrassing. I need to stop making drunk purchases. *returns drunk people I bought*

I point the stud finder towards my stomach. It beeps. I smile. People giggle. Then I begin coughing out blood.