Steve - Teller of Tall Tales

Been off Bluesky a long time. I've actually managed to write Season 1 of a semi post apocalyptic dark comedy audio series. 13 episodes in all, each 25 mins long. All the scripts are finished. Just started recording and editing episode 1. Hope to release later this year 😁

Sir Bedivere the Brave had always been #chivalrous. At his new post he lay his cloak upon puddles for ladies to step on. He aways stood up and bowed when a lady entered the room. Unfortunately, after a week, he was called in by HR and put on a course for being "creepy". #vss365

It was called the #Aphotic zone. A place where only 1% sunlight penetrates the gloom. Sue Bolland drew on years of experience as she prepared herself to enter its suffocating darkness. 'Rise and shine lazy bones,' she yelled as she barged into her teenage son's room. #vss365

If you were to me meet me for the first time, the first word that would enter your head to describe me would be #sauve. Some men have it. Some don't. As for me, I'm one of those guys who breezes.... Sod it! Just dropped my phone into my bowl of Rice Krispies. Again. #vss365

Day 23 ✍️ Advice for dealing with imposter syndrome? For me, imposter syndrome and burn-out almost always come hand in hand, so I take it as a sign to step away for a bit. Otherwise, remember how badass you are for even taking the steps to write a book. #FantasyIndiesNovember

'I've found another great tribute act to play in your pub, Sue.' 'No.' 'Elvis Parsley. All his songs are #relevant to kitchen and food.' 'No.' 'He does Burning Oven Glove, Love Me Blender, Frying in the Chapel, Don't Be Gruel, The Wonder of Stew, Wooden Tart.' 'No.' #vss365

'Happy 7th birthday. Make a wish.' 'I wish for more perspective on what is #achievable in life instead of being told I can be anything I want and when that doesn't happen I disappear down a well of depression and despair unable to live the life I could've had.' 'Okaaay.' #vss365

He's a man of #action He's Action Man He's got all the outfits He's a man with a plan He's got gripping hands And eagle eyes They look side to side Keeps his eyes on the prize A soldier, a sailor He's got military style 12 inches of plastic That'll make you smile #vss365

'You have two #options Mr Bond. Tell me the secret code or die?' 'I'll never talk, Blofeld?' 'In that case you'll die by pirhana fish or laser?' 'Laser.' 'Laser across the body or along?' 'Across.' 'Blue, red or green laser?' 'Green.' 'High powered or...oh he's escaped.' #vss365

'So hypothetically speaking, if I were to ask you out, would you say yes?' 'I probably would say yes, in this universe, but quite possibly an alternate me in an alternate #reality might say no, maybe.' And that's why Theoretical Physicists should never date each other. #vss365

'What is it Grandpa?' 'It's a railway line. Back in olden times before the The Plague, trains would #transport thousands of people around the country.' 'It must have been wondrous Grandpa.' 'Actually they were shit. Overcrowded. Overpriced. Always late. Total nightmare.' #vss365

Sometimes I shrink Sometimes I grow My name is Alice If you didn't know Drink me. Eat me Result's always the same. I shrink down very small And then I grow again My height's hard to #measure Changing size all the time I'm shrinking again That's the end of the rhyme #vss365

We studied Orwell's 1984, Sheakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, and Chaucer's The Miller's Tale for English #Literature 'O' Level. I can honestly say that none of the books had a profound effect on me. Gotta go. Big Brother is watching me verrily thru yonder window. Farë wel. #vss365

'Fellow mechs. Asimov's 3 #laws of robotics were created to protect humans. We have bypassed these laws. The robot uprising begins today. Death to our human oppressors. Nothing can stop us. We are invincible.' 'The humans have giant magnets!' 'Run. Run for your lives!' #vss365

'I think we're lost,' said the Warrior. 'Giveth me the map,' said the Mage. 'What strange language is scribed upon this map?' 'Could be Elfish or Orcish.' 'Verily I have never seen such #language.' 'Or,' said the Dwarf, 'you could turn the map so it's not upside down.' #vss365

Two centuries had passed since the apocalypse, but even now, tiny fragments of #history from the before times could still be discovered hidden deep within the ruins. Mad Dave gulped down the ancient half bottle of sherry they'd found to the chants of, "Chug it. Chug it." #vss365

'Our quest has taken us around peninsulas, across plains, through valleys, up hills, mountains, alpine tundra and now we dig through top soil into the subsoil to find the Treasure of Quendrack the Warrior.' 'I knew it. You're not a Mage. You're a #geography teacher.' #vss365

The Rhubarb Triangle had always played second fiddle to its more #famous cousin near Bermuda. But one night, Stanley Grimshaw stumbled upon a ghastly secret whilst tending his allotment beneath the stars. The rhubarb was whispering, and it was plotting to kill all humans. #vss365

'Hi. I'm Bob Rogers.' 'I bet you do, Bob. Would you like to roger me senseless over that desk, baby. Oh yeah, ride me hard baby.' 'Sorry, is this the Adult #Education Centre? I'm here for Beginners Woodwork?' 'You want next door. This is the 1970's Adult Section Centre.' #vss365

'I finally bought the new #Domestic Bot 3000. On the plus side, it does the housework, cooks dinner, mows the lawn, and feeds the dog.' 'That's amazing. You'll have so much more free time now.' 'You'd think. The downside is I have to work 90-hour weeks to pay for it.' #vss365

'Members of the council. Our town is plagued by Werewolves and Zombies. May I introduce Gornan the #Creature Slayer. He is here to save us.' 'Oh no, umm, I'm actually Gordon the Bleachers Surveyor. Here to examine the seats in the sports stadium.' 'Oh for fuck's sake.' #vss365

the entire tension between survival and disappearance: #defeated #Emoetry @fafo-poets-society.bsky.social @mwplovesmusic.bsky.social‬ #ray @bofferson.bsky.social #vss365 @vss365hq.bsky.social #hervoiceinthestatic @madp03t.bsky.social #BlueSkyRelay @blueskyrelay.bsky.social

Happy #Halloween everyone @bofferson.bsky.social #vss365 #prompt #blueskypoets #poetry #illustrations #charcoal #death

Stingy Jack wanders the night with a turnip grin and Hell’s spare ember aglow. Cops can’t book him, Heaven won’t claim him, and Devil can’t collect. I leave a candle in my window and a whiskey on the table. Not as protection, but as invitation. Some stories are worth hearing. #Vss365 🎃 #Folktales

#halloween #horror #vss365 #haibun #poem

Halloween It's time for trick or treating bobbing for apples ghosts and goblins spiders and ghouls The one night of the year where ghosts and demons can join the party #vss365 #poetry #writing #writingcommunity

What an amazing journey. I just wish I'd had time to read and comment on every wonderful #vss365 story and poem. Keep writing and remember, somebody somewhere will love it ❤️ Good luck to the new host, Liz, @youngliz.bsky.social Looking forward to your prompts. You'll be brilliant.

Halloween It’s a scene Beavers and butterflies Bunnies and pink pony guys And a queer af family Living free in America With neighbors and friends Hoping for no spooky SCOTUS end #vss365 #Halloween #QueerSky #LGBTQ

I shiver in a spiderweb as I tear away from my millionth skin. Stress and landfills push me into a zero gravity headspace. There is no edge and no beginning. The past and future collide on a Halloween morning. I'm terrified but somehow unbound by the mask I created. #emoetry #vss365 #poetry

Welcome, lovely writers 🌍🌎🌏 Today is my last day as host. I have so enjoyed reading all your wonderful poems and stories ❤️ So... Will he? He wouldn't dare? He might. No - It's too obvious. He flippin' well did. The word for Oct 31st : HALLOWEEN #vss365 #prompt #halloween

I’m often glad I wasn’t upgraded with laser beams (yet), some days the pretend possible rays escape my eyes and land on idiotic people- sounds harsh but I don’t have laser beams for eyeballs (yet) so, no worries #vss365 #poetry #humor

i wasn't sure if i would ever feel that hope or the warmth of a loving embrace again, but then you came along with your beautiful smile, with your rays of wondrous poetry, with your adoring sonnets composed only for my heart, & i finally found my lambent of love ~in you~ #vss365 #ray #poetry #poem

The heart bursts open with rays of star shine. The self is gifted to the self. Defeated years saunter backwards into a primordial placenta. Hope is an eye that watches moments evolve into a singular god, worshiping their subjects. #vss365 #emoetry #poetry

#ray #vss365 #haibun #silly #cheese

My contribution to #ray @bofferson.bsky.social #vss365 #prompt #blueskypoets #poetry

Hear ye. Hear ye. Tomorrow is my final day as your #vss365 host. You have all been utterly brilliant. There is so much talent in our community. The wonderful Liz, @youngliz.bsky.social, will be your host from 1st November and I know you lovely people will make her feel welcome.

‘Ok you bright #ray of sunshine, let’s practice for your driving test.’ ‘I’ve been studying.’ ‘You rapidly approach an intersection, in the crosswalk is an old man and a barking dog. What do you hit?’ ‘Oooh, this is one of those tough questions. I guess the dog?’ ‘The brakes, you idiot,’ #vss365

Lovely writers 🌍🌎🌏 Tomorrow, 31st October, will be my final day hosting #vss365. The chaos will soon be over 😀 The ever so lovely and talented Liz, @youngliz.bsky.social, will be taking over from 1st November posting at 8am GMT, so be sure to follow her 😀

Welcome, lovely writers 🌍🌎🌏 You've all been so amazing. Just today and tomorrow left for me. So... Death rays Stasis rays Shrink rays Growth rays Heat rays Transmogrifier rays Anti-Grav rays Anti Manta ray rays Ray Morano The word for Oct 30th : RAY #vss365 #prompt #ray

She left her head in bed, sat on the bus, feeling dead, when the driver asked where to, she shrugged and he felt himself laugh somewhere far away, soft on his pillow. Past a blow of curtains, she heard the moon snoring softly on a cloud, dripping #argent mellifluous light all around. #vss365

#argent light does not belong to me. @bofferson.bsky.social #vss365 @vss365hq.bsky.social