🎃 pumpkin spice wendell 🎃

me in 1993 explaining to my parents that I was a baby and hadn’t formed the leg muscles to hold myself up:

Genuinely fucking hate QR code menus so much bring me a damn paper menu AND IT BETTER BE CUTE AND CLEAN!!’

Going to leave an uplifting comment under oomfs selfie but there are gay boys being horny in the comments so imma just see myself out 😞

I need my pussy touched and taste

Following up on this cause I wasn’t feeling her, oh at all. But then today she made my 50 year old coworker who swears no one can tell his age remove his ball cap and proceeded to tell him he’s balding and unc so actually she can stay omg

Sometimes i get frisson when a bottom moans really fuckin good in a porno

walking down the street and saw @booternextdoor.bsky.social locking a dog in a hot car :/ and a lot of u still following

Returning to the frottage TONIGHT!

I’ve never seen dune so this is what i assume the plot is like

How to tell my new coworker my boss is dangerously close to firing her …….

✧𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍✧

Locking your pathetic penis in chastity is genuinely one of the straightest things a man could do. Then you can’t use it to fuck other men

fascinating in a horrible way that you can see exactly where the cultural conversation changed from extreme concern for what’s next to stupid and meaningless pop culture bloat

Yall I need a burger like I need air

I love when I wonder someone’s pet’s name and I go to check the alt text and it’s right there 😻

Oomfs shading the people’s sexiest man pick as if I haven’t seen them thirsting over men that look just as busted as him just because they were gay and oomf and took their shirt off

Like this post if you think I am funny sometimes or if you secretly want me dead 😵 comment if you are in love with me 💜😁😻

Stupid stupid STUPID worthless faggot HOLE bitch!!!!!!!! Worthless, except— of course— for taking dick in both your openings 🙄

People on here call themselves angels uhm I’ve never seen an angel be a little piggy sub hole bitch but ok

Well yes I am a S.U.B. 😋 Seattle Used Bottom 😳

People thatre mad corny seem so happy …….. #needthat

There’s about 5 signs saying this one side road is closed off yet every week I see people nearly crash into the barricade place on said closed road’s entrance like ?

We need a modern day Lillix

I hate falling asleep and waking up 😡 but I love to sleep 😴😁

They’re taking me outside and beating the fuck out of me with sticks right now actually (forced to catch up on all my support convos in fe3h 😞)

What is the governments plan to deal with my favorite smoking bench always being wet from the rain?

New single from next Magdalena bay album just leaked

Have physical next week and I’m excited because 1. I’ve lost a lot of weight so I’ll be treated like a good boy 😼 2. I have a list of issues I want to discuss namely getting my ears tested

Hi Balthus 😻😻😻😻😁💜 who tf are you ? 👁️👄👁️

No cause the thing about it being the thing is that the thing is that

😭😭😭

Hard for FE3H is way too easy but I’m actually terrified asf to do maddening

Love having an equally as rotted oomf to always talk shit with people about 💜😻🫂

Oomf always in my mentions but still never talking to me somehow

IM PEGGIN THAT BLOOMF IN THE BACK OF DA BUS

Sometimes arriving to the party fashionably late and carrying the message forward is essential IMO 😍

All you 🚬s giving your four versions of yourselves