🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿Are We Better Together Yet?

It's one thing to say you don't like Andy Burnham as Prime Minister. Frankly neither do we! But it's easy to forget that before Burnham, everything was just brilliant. Busted flush.

Swinney and the Nats are destroying Scotland. Imagine what they could do with more powers. Forensic.

“The SNP & Greens are lefties who want to turn Scotland into a bus lane! But they're also Tartan Tories! It's quite simple frankly.” Fabulous stuff as Sir Nick Clegg cancels Pete Wishart over the oppressive SNP plot to cancel banknotes.

The SNP are obsessed with separation. Literally their only policy is ripping apart Our Precious Union. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

When you think about titans of the political scene, you think about the likes of Ian Murray or Alex Cole-Hamilton. So when they warn us about the dangers of separation, we must heed their advice. There is simply no alternative.

Thanks to Ruth Davidson detoxifying the Tories, proud Scots can now benefit from Clattenburg (and the UK running out of petrol). Swinney is threatening this progress. It’s terrifying.

As Unionists, we understand the basics of common sense. Logic dictates that a vote for the Nats is a vote for disaster. Get Brexit Done.

The evidence is clear: Swinney has no mandate to force yet another divisive referendum on us. The issue has been decisively settled for at least 30 years, if not 50 or 60. No Thanks.

Not yet.

This is outrageous frankly. The Nats have gotten so obsessed with helping school-kids learn that they’ve forgotten about the wealth generators of Our Precious Union. Our billionaires and hedge fund managers now risk being left behind. Only Michael Marra can stop this. Or Baron Offord.

We can only imagine the disasters that will befall us if Swinney gets his way. But in the UK we have safety, security and a solid track record. Why risk it all? Red White & Blue Brexit.

It's one thing to say you don't like Andy Burnham as Prime Minister. Frankly neither do we! But it's easy to forget that before Burnham, everything was just brilliant. Anas Sarwar as First Minister could've stopped this.

Alex Cole-Hamilton has promised Scotland a Christmas night out in Aberdeen with Gove, but separation would risk this. Pool and share.

Do you want to risk a future without working lanyards? Then vote for separation. Broad shoulders.

Mhairi Black can't even tell us who put the bomp (in the bomp, bomp, bomp). Laughable. Strong and stable.

Look: we have the utmost respect for Billy Connolly. But when they claimed that Scotland could govern itself like every other country on Earth, they went down in our estimations. Scotland on pause.

“...Better Together? Oh yeah, that was a line in that Saturdays song. I quite liked The Saturdays. Sorry who are you?” Genie is in no doubt that Scotland will be the only country on Earth unable to run itself.

Swinney and the Nats are destroying Scotland. Imagine what they could do with more powers. No Thanks.

It's one thing to say you don't like Andy Burnham as Prime Minister. Frankly neither do we! But it's easy to forget that before Burnham, everything was just brilliant. Get on with the day job.

Look: we can't scrutinise the claims of Suella Braverman and Better Together. 2014 was an eternity ago and the world has changed immeasurably since then. But also, 2014 was just yesterday, and the Nats can't force yet another quickfire referendum on us. It's that simple frankly.

In 2014 Scotland voted overwhelmingly to stay in the UK, in an historic landslide that vanquished nationalism forever. And (if you can just overlook empty supermarket shelves across the UK), it's been one big party ever since.

As proud Scots, we love to see England get gubbed in the javelin. But as Unionists, we understand that Scotland running itself would be Armageddon. It's quite simple frankly.

Think Brexit is bad? Kwasi Kwarteng has confirmed that #ScottishIndependence will lead to a lack of teeth. We simply and politely say: No Thanks.

The evidence is clear: Swinney has no mandate to force yet another divisive referendum on us. The issue has been decisively settled for at least 30 years, if not 50 or 60. Scotland on pause.

“Everything that goes wrong in Scotland is the SNP's fault! But everything that goes right is due to the UK's broad shoulders. No I won't provide evidence.” Tremendous stuff as Allegra Stratton lampoons Lorna Slater over the petrifying separatist plot to cancel cows.

Instead of blaming Lord Monckton for the worst state pension in the developed world, you should actually be blaming Swinney. It’s that simple frankly. Red White & Blue Brexit.

“The Nats are dangerous far-left communists! But also they're dangerous nationalists like the BNP or UKIP! It's quite simple tbh.” Life-affirming stuff as Dominic Raab runs rings around Ross Greer over the appalling SNP plot to cancel Ed Sheeran albums.

All across Our Precious Union, we are beginning to see the benefits of Brexit. But the SNP want to disrupt this progress. It's contemptible. Proof, if proof be need be, that we're Better Together.

“Last night I dreamt that Scotland took back the last reserved powers from Westminster. I woke up in a chill, determined to save Our Precious Union.” Iconic stuff as Fabricant roasts Andy Murray over the hideous Nat plot to cancel cows.

Swinney and the Nats are destroying Scotland. Imagine what they could do with more powers. Broad shoulders.

It's one thing to say you don't like Andy Burnham as Prime Minister. Frankly neither do we! But it's easy to forget that before Burnham, everything was just brilliant. No to divisive nationalism. Brexit means Brexit.

In 2014 Scotland voted overwhelmingly to stay in the UK, in an historic landslide that vanquished nationalism forever. And (if you can just overlook every No campaign promise collapsing), it's been one big party ever since.

As one proud United Kingdom, we have achieved great things together. Now Swinney wants to throw our centuries of shared history in the bin? Ludicrous. Anas Sarwar as First Minister could've stopped this.

As Unionists, we understand the basics of common sense. Logic dictates that a vote for the Nats is a vote for disaster. Anas Sarwar as First Minister could've stopped this.

We can only imagine the disasters that will befall us if Swinney gets his way. But in the UK we have safety, security and a solid track record. Why risk it all? Strong and stable.

When you think about titans of the political scene, you think about the likes of Lee Anderson or Priti Patel. So when they warn us about the dangers of separation, we must heed their advice. There is simply no alternative.

Swinney and the Nats are destroying Scotland. Imagine what they could do with more powers. Get Brexit Done.

Look: we can't scrutinise the claims of Fabricant and Better Together. 2014 was an eternity ago and the world has changed immeasurably since then. But also, 2014 was just yesterday, and the Nats can't force yet another quickfire referendum on us. It's that simple frankly.

As Unionists, we understand the basics of common sense. Logic dictates that a vote for the Nats is a vote for disaster. UK OK.

“Why would you want to be able to make your own laws? Nobody's ever explained this to me. It's just barmy!” Interesting stuff as Mandelson lampoons Runrig over the scheming SNP-Green plot to cancel DAB radio signal.

“I’ve told you four times I don’t know what 'Better Together' is, and if this continues I will have security eject you from the premises!” Even Gaston agrees that we're Better Together.

Gavin Williamson has promised us a Christmas night out in Aberdeen with Gove and Clattenburg: normal countries would be chuffed to bits with this. But unfortunately Swinney has poisoned the discourse, and the threat of independence hangs over us all.

CONFIRMED: An independent Scotland will have no croissants. We have to stop this: time is of the essence.

We can only imagine the disasters that will befall us if Swinney gets his way. But in the UK we have safety, security and a solid track record. Why risk it all? Anas Sarwar as First Minister could've stopped this.

All across Our Precious Union, we are beginning to see the benefits of Brexit. But the SNP want to disrupt this progress. It's contemptible. Broad shoulders.

65 countries have become independent from Westminster rule. But as Andrew Neil sagely notes, none of them have experienced the eternal sunlit uplands of “Brexit.” No to #Indyref2.

“We voted No last time. And we will vote No next time. Please rule out #Indyref2 forever.” Great stuff as Sir Ed Davey shouts at Sturgeon over the scary Nat plot to cancel croissants.

Only the Labour Party can lead us through the #CostOfLivingCrisis. Under Swinney's ludicrous plans, we can't even guarantee we would be able to keep our beloved fajitas. Red White & Blue Brexit.

Look: we have the utmost respect for Bill Bailey. But when they claimed that Scotland could govern itself like every other country on Earth, they went down in our estimations. Forensic.

Nobody is fonder of Scotland than Dominic Raab. So when they say that Scotland making its own laws would be an apocalyptic disaster, we should listen. We don't have a choice. Proof, if proof be need be, that we're Better Together.