Bret H Dingley

Bret H Dingley

@bretding.bsky.social

Alchemist, Dissident, Protestator, Rockhundt, Songcrafter, Word-smithy. Pronoun: Hey, you!

883 followers62 following1.6K posts

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

All some folks care for is money. They wouldn’t be so anxious to get to Heaven if they hadn’t read about the golden streets. – Joseph Crosby Lincoln, paraphrased

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

I was talking with a metal drummer in my studio recently. His kit had three bass drums! I asked him how he played all of them. He replied, “Left foot, right foot, and don’t ask.”

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

After my royal edict, they presented to me a man who declared, “Minestrone, Chicken Noodle, Cream of Mushroom, Tomato…” Interrupting the man before me, I screamed at my court, “You idiots! Soothsayer, not soup sayer.”

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

My doctor told me about the benefits of eating steel cut oats, so I ordered a big container from Amazon. After eating the first bowl, I realized I hadn’t read the ad very carefully. I had purchased a 25 pound bag of chainsaw sawdust. Going back to look at the ad, both clearly said steel cut oak.

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

They ALMOST got me. I called customer service for my health care provider. After about 30 automated questions, they said, stay on the line if you want us to continue taking your money and providing no service.

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

I asked Alexa what Ares, in Greek mythology, was known for. She answered: “The god Ares was violent, impulsive, and a force of bloodlust. Would you like me to call the wrath of Ares down upon someone today?”

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

I woke up at 3 AM with a great song idea. Picking up my phone, I dictated a note to myself. When I got up later the note was: "Put out nevada on google dung bun". Alrighty then. That should be a hit.

Bret H Dingley
@bretding.bsky.social

Something I haven’t done in years. Join me tomorrow morning at the playground for a game of leapfrog. Afterward I’ll have ambulances and hip surgeries scheduled. Should be fun!