tar-minyatur’s court twink ✵

❥ twitter: caranthirs ❥ tumblr: russingon ❥ nsfw alt: @halenthir.bsky.social

the nature of being medically anomalous is that i am my primary care provider’s sleep paralysis demon. every time i come in there there’s a non zero chance that lady is going to see something she has never seen before

#Tolkientober Day 16: Creepy Celeborn and Elrond find Celebrimbor at the Siege of Eregion #myart

it is a truth universally acknowledged that a guy who loves his wife is admirable but a public figure of some sort whose whole schtick is that he is a wife-guy is inevitably an animal. the wife guy doth protest too much, as they say

ñolofinwë said brother how can it be that i am not thy jacob, that i did not come forth clutching thy heel when since first i drew breath thou hast no less felt my clawing nails biting at the tender flesh there as i clung to thee and anairë said dear are you talking to yourself in the shower again

evangelical men who cheat on their wives talk about it as though every day jesus christ himself does battle with satan to keep their penis flaccid and every single day he loses like some sort of erectile sisyphus which always makes me feel bad for the guy like first he got crucified and now this

“when one of them makes the other feel safe 😍😍😍” no. how about when one of them is transgressing the pseudomedieval sociopolitical hierarchies of elf feudalism, chivalric masculinity, and the procreative sexual ethics of valarin catholicism to fuck his liege lord in the ass

“They have shown friendship to me in every need, but I fear that they will show neither love nor mercy to you (...)” The Silmarillion #Curufin #Finrod #Silmarillion #Curufinrod for @rosenroty.bsky.social

i don’t know i feel like a lot of anger towards boomers or whatever is just misdirected class resentment. like. old people did not take away all your economic opportunities, rich people did. i need you to keep your eye on the ball even when you find grandma irritating

objectively it’s very funny that i am not really that invested in celeborn and galadriel as characters but because i am the guy who looms over conversations about dwarves with a loaded gun i end up involved in talking about celeborn and galadriel so much

i always like “a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!” because it feels a bit like “day shall come again!” but it’s more like “aurë entuluva! but first, [the sound of a gun cocking]—”

everyone’s real problem these days is that we’ve lost the traditional family. without an active father in your life to threaten his half brother at swordpoint in a way so hateful and phallic that you still feel some guilty arousal at the memory you’re going to end up with some serious issues

it’s very funny when people defend schlocky things by saying “if the lotr movies came out today, people would COMPLAIN about them changing things!!” because girl that is exactly what happened then. that is rather famously a thing that happened. that continues to happen regularly among the wise

i do believe that i exist in defiance of g-d just because i’m what happens when a hick and a jewess reproduce and i don’t think that was ever meant to happen. nobody was supposed to be out here saying stuff like y’all it’s so hot out i’m fixin to start shvitzing. that’s prohibited somewhere i’m sure

something i always bring up to people when they are understanding the conlangs as simply a really intense attention to detail in how middle earth works is that we have nearly no idea how money or legal systems work except in very specific instances when it becomes meaningful to the story in some way

it was just unbelievably cunt of caranthir to decide to live on this fucked up lake. what do you mean you’re morifinwë and you make your home around a deep dark lake that is called The Black Glass

lord of the rings is so cool because there’s elves and dwarves and hobbits and a sense of utter apocalypse that feels like being beaten with a blunt object to read these days and also wizards too

it’s banned books week which means i will inevitably subject my close friends to a rant they have heard before more than once when someone whines about catcher in the rye in a way i consider to be stupid

the most brontë-esque in the world is that you can’t jokingly refer to people who embody their spirit as “the fourth brontë sister” because emily is already the fourth brontë sister as there were two girls older than the three famous ones who died in childhood of tuberculosis

you never really understand furries until you find out about scalies and then you see the vision. i wasnt getting it when it was wolf men but lizard men? i’m googling reptile reproduction now

there is a player for the chicago white sox whose last name is meidroth (pron. ‘my-droth’) and as someone with profound carnal knowledge of the elves in jrr tolkien’s 1977 fantasy epic ‘the silmarillion’ i’m like fucking WHOOOOO is up to the plate every time they announce him

my most pre-2020 trait is that when i see people on tiktok and instagram doing fandom on video with their whole face and government name i’m scandalized. back in my day we were supposed to be at least semi-anonymous when compromising the elf’s virtue and you all but have your linkedin attached

whenever i think about time travel or isekai situations i always imagine a traveler who starts fucking some guy just to see him at intimate moments so he can figure out how he’s supposed to do basic things here like how do clothes go on and how do we handle bodily functions and personal hygiene here