catodile

catodile

@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

She/her Call me Croco 2D + 3D Artist / Musician / Art may be suggestive I'm an adult ๐Ÿ’™ MY GIRLFRIEND IS @huskyheroine.bsky.social ๐Ÿ’™] Play Lost In Vivo right now

509 followers1K following484 posts

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

Growing up and growing less ignorant makes me realize why so many young people, especially white people, become bigoted and hateful without truly actually being hateful, and it's a painful realization that some began to genuinely believe the ignorance that they developed and never grow out of it.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

You grow up online surrounded by slurs and hateful rhetoric used as jokes, and it appeals to that juvenile teenage sense of rebellion where you see how far you can get from the rules. When I grew out of my white ignorance I thought others would too. It's hard to accept some really are that hateful.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

Like realizing "man, theres so many painful experiences I simply can never understand the full impact of because i didnt grow up as a minority" should instill empathy but hearing rhetorics like "they can live offended and die offended" just makes me lose so much faith in people to grow the fuck up.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

I think the turn my art has been taking lately is interesting because I am extremely fulfilled by what I draw now but its such a far cry from what i think most people follow me for.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

Like I sometimes feel like a huge part of what gets me followers is occasionally drawing attractive furries or something but I love drawing disgusting monsters that sicken me specifically. Good thing I do both.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

saw that 99 nights in the forest collab in fortnite and thought it was funny. played it turns out its actually kind of fun. fuck sake. the monsters are kind of cute.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

i want it to be known the goat from COTL is one of the most handsome fucking characters ever and I will make him a big fat strong man that fights for his cult because behind his menacing attitude he is actually very gentle and kind and if I was in his cult he would hug me and tell me to tell nobody

catodile@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

things that go baa

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

I think my problems may lie deeper than a lack of inspiration. I am very fucking deeply not okay. I should not feel as deathly bad as I do right now just because I cant draw.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

youtubers editing videos where theyre just talking in front of a camera be like "ok on this bit i need to zoom into my face a little. this bit i need to reverb my voice. this bit i make my voice pitch down a bit and zoom in on my face again... yeah this serves purpose probably."

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

I just wish I could think about the future and feel comfortable and hopeful. I find that thinking in the present, I am... Some semblance of happy and comfortable. But wondering what I actually will reach for in life just... Scares me. I feel so hopeless and I feel like a loser by nature.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

I am thinking negatively because I am tired, lately. Every time I am sleepy I begin to grow dismal. But lately it feels as if I haven't grown at all since I was a child, and as an adult all I have ever developed is an imagination and an understanding that I am just not good at living properly.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

All i've got on me is imagination and creativity. It's all I am good at and all that matters to me. I have no good work skills and I don't get the modern society or why we as animals on this planet have decided to govern our freedoms in the way we have. I am not enough for the world we created.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

Have you ever seen an artist you enjoy gradually discover themselves as an artist and you suddenly find that the art that they enjoy making the most simply just isn't interesting to you compared to what they used to make? It's a weird feeling that makes it easy to feel guilty for not liking it.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

Artist that was a huge favourite of mine gradually discovered their tastes and what they enjoy the most but as a result the things they create are just really boring to me and I have lost a lot of interest. It's just a matter of opinion, I can't be expected to like everything, but I feel like an ass

catodile reposted

Rem
@jellhound.bsky.social

i hate designing cute clothes because then i'm like "i wanna wear that" but i can't because THEY'RE NOT REAL ;-; #ART #DigitalART #anthro

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

i might get off of social media a bit becuase my depression is bad rn and when chapter 3 and 4 came out i feel like i felt so much less for it than chapter 2 because i was so much happier back then, chapter 5 i fear ill play and just be completely emotionless.

catodile
@ccccrococcccat.bsky.social

If you as a horror fan are spending your time feeling upset that some people simply are not cut out for more intense/mature horror and find that their biggest ability to enter the horror medium being through stuff like mascot horror is the bane of your existence, get over it already.