cirroccojones.bsky.social

"Here lies Hart, a greedy, dumb, vulgar son of a bitch who thought he could hire Death as a company cop." - William S. Burroughs, 'Ah Pook is Here'

Y'all, Costco is selling a cauldron.

About to see Clayface. Let's see what they've got!

Look, I know we don't do it for a good reason but I can't help but think that we should spank people for lower level offenses rather than give them jail time, especially if the defendant was acting like a real dick.

Hey Boss Nass! Why are you being such a Karen about the Naboo?

Y'all, Kim Zootopia was the one they chose when they had ADVANCED NOTICE! They need to choose the next one in haste! The next one's gonna be a complete fuckup!

Just voted. Be careful California. There are no less than 4 poison pill propositions on the ballot to sink the billionaire tax.

My abusive husband made me take a drug test because he thought I smoked weed at some point. No, wait, my employer did that. My employer.

They tried to make me go to rehab But I hadn't habbed just yet

¿Dough? Si! Dough!

Hey, whaddaya know? Orange juice and chardonnay tastes pretty good!

Not to brag but I've got that "don't need to squeeze out every last gram of toothpaste out of the tube" money. I mean, I do it anyway because I haven't forgotten where I came from, but still...

Thinking about Coyote VS. Acme and I realized that since John Cena is Acme's lawyer it's literally a case of "my lawyer can beat up YOUR lawyer!"

Start pasta water Saute sausage, onions, mushrooms in that order. Add garlic and saute briefly Add 1 cup white wine, reduce Add 1 pint heavy cream Start cooking pasta Add about 8 ounces of your favorite cheese(s) to onions, sausage etc. Stir constantly. Add pasta to mix, finish with butter. Voila!

Going to create a Godzilla convention to bring all his fans together. I'll call it Mecca Godzilla.

Hegseth is saying he'll livestream the execution. This is a dangerous and misguided precedent. It's a stunt and it shouldn't be allowed. We should livestream the life of a prisoner sentenced to life without parole. And we should abolish the death penalty.

Two words: Vampire Ferengi

I want to recognize this day of acknowledgement. That's a big 10-4!

Are you shitting me?! The DOJ is re-opening the case against Nixon to clear him of Watergate! We're through the looking glass. The Mad Hairer is in charge and Congress is being run by the court of the Red Queen!

Speaking of Endgame Encore, if you've got the time then give this a listen. It's a fan made story of how Cap returned the stones and I promise you it's worth it! youtu.be/3rwdxU1cRig?...

Y'all! I saw Endgame Encore last night! They've added a few bits to connect it to Doomsday! Stay until the very end of the credits! Continuity seemed to be lacking after Endgame but maybe they've found a way to bring it all back together! Continuity is key! youtu.be/IyPh8aIdR-4?...

Dude no way! This local shop teacher liked my post!

Sitting here with the flu after returning from Disneyland. Happiest place on Earth? More like most infected place on Earth! But that's what I get for going around that many toddlers. Stupid toddlers. Couldn't even catch and eat one because of all the cameras.

What the hell?! My computer just updated and it installed WhatsApp and LinkedIn on my computer! I don't want either of those on my computer!

Who's scruffy looking?!

At Disneyland. Had to fart. Told some kid to pull my finger and he fell for it! Best. Day. Ever.

Go Browns! Beat those Buccaneers! #AndWereTheClevelandBrowns #WereTheClevelandBrowns #IKnowYouAre

When I see these photos I nearly cry. I've never felt so...at home. I felt like I was with my people.

Coming up on three years since the strike ended. The WGA fought hard for a fair contract and they got it! Let's make their sacrifice count by voting in November! #WGAWest #2023WritersStrike

I'm going to make a chat bot and name it Freddy. Call it Nightmare on LLM Street.

Home made English muffins. Tomorrow: Eggs Benedict. Also, purchasing cookie cutters so they're more round.

Apropos of nothing, here's a tool tip: youtube.com/shorts/0fpKa...

The rich are parasitic. No wonder they oppose vaccines.

Breaking news: After Dolly's passing, local cannibal promises "to find the good in everyone." Details at 11 after all-new Hee Haw.

In honor of Coyote VS. Acme I give you the melodic stylings of Tom Smith! youtu.be/vNi938QAsGc?...

"Terror Scarf" will see a limited release in Los Angeles and New York in order to qualify for the Academy Awards.

A little ditty I learned in school to help me remember the names of the Great Lakes: youtu.be/9vST6hVRj2A?...

If there's a King Kong then is there a Queen Kong? Baron? Count? Princess? Game of Thrones, King Kong version?

Goodbye Tim Curry. I'm so grateful for the time you spent with us here!

Natalie Harp and Stephen Miller are plotting to overthrow Trump. They're after his money, and they won't stop there. They'll bleed Don and Eric dry. And then they'll run to Israel and Netanyahu will protect them for a cut of the money.

Hey Melania, you should get life insurance on him. Ivanka will get all the inheritance and leave none for you or her brothers. Natalie Harp helped her do it.

Crazy dream. Someone got me an Audrey Two for my birthday. Like an idiot I didn't want to kill it immediately. Didn't think about it until I woke up that I could send it to Washington DC for a few snacks.

Is Natalie Harp a Russian spy?

Thank you Bobby!

And then there was the Irish chef, Pat of Butter.

Going to open an Irish-French-Mexican fusion restaurant. I'm going to call it Patty LaBell.

My last sneeze caused a mushroom cloud. I've never really had allergies but I think I've crossed a threshold. My apologies to the residents of Solano County. Send Sudafed or I'll do it again!

The movie is an exploration of topics that were (and sometimes still are) controversial in 1972. But the backdrop is absolutely chilling; these people don't know what's coming. The ending shot is one of the most chilling in cinematic history. Cabaret (1972) youtu.be/Bdv2UFCCUw8?...