Constable Dooley

Mazel Tosser or something. #RudyRudyRudy

The world is safer with the elusive Wo Fat gone 35 years. The Station House salutes island crimefighters Lt. Cmdr. Steve McGarrett, Det. Sgt. Danny 'Danno' Williams, Det. Lt. Chin Ho Kelly & Officer Kono Kalakaua for bringing the "fat man" to his knees. Righto, Five-O! #satire

On This Day in Her-Story. Happy Heavenly Birthday, luv.

History in the remaking. Bright-o! #satire #history

A station house salute to the lovely Leia, aka Honey Buns.

Fly high, free birds. But be mindful of your altitude and fuel level in the bloody tank.

Beautified. Beatified. #BeautifulThings

On this sun-dappled Fall Sunday, the station house salutes our terrestrial police counterparts far and wide. Theirs is evidence of nobility in mobility. Bravo, Civilian-Servicing Cyclists.

On This Day in Music History. #CallMeCrazy

On this Day in Sporting History. #PowerUp

Random Memorandum: Be advised that Internet policing extends well beyond the birthday shoutouts and deathday salutings of late. All citizen postings on this timeline are under unsparing inspection by the Station House. Make a bloody note of it. #satire #humour

On behalf of Winnipeg the Bear, Piglet, Owl, Eeyore, Tigger and young Master Christopher Robin, the station house extends an overdue doff of the helmet to Messrs. A.A. Milne (writer) and Ernest H. Shepard (illustrator), gentle Citizen Woodsmen for the ages. Oh bother, indeed! #satire #winnie

Three's a crowd favourite. Happy daze, Citizens of the Comedy Cloth. #alig #borat #bruno #satire

As I Underhand It™. #ColumbosDay

The "Shakin' All Over" era, officially all but over.

Televangelizing and Covid supplementeering for all eternity, one supposes. Jim (dec. 5 October 2026) and Tammy Faye Bakker (dec. 20 July 2007) together again. RIP, Citizens of the Synthetic Cloth.

As I Underhand It®, Tom Cruise has stepped into the large shoes of Notre Dame basketball's Richard "Digger" Phelps. This evening our IP team will screen a police-issued advance of “Digger.” A Fighting Irishman with dentured grit, patterned sportswear, and hair-tossled authority? We can dig it!

Remembering, as best we bloody can, the otherwise lone-monikered bass pluckerer himself. From one Policeman to another on his special day. Cheers! #sting #satire #parody

THIS JUST IN: "No more funny business," declares U.S. Dept. of War & Testosterone-Charged Skirmishes.

This just in. #ChicagoWhiteSox #PopeLeoXIV

A doff of the battered stovepipe hat to Lancashire's Jack Wild on this day. His rogue, sartorial flair in the film Oliver! arguably inspired the Dickensian steampunk aesthetic still alive today. The station house salutes the original, pint-sized Wild One.

A doff of the helmet to all Citizen Sunny Boys on this International Suns—or possibly Sons Day—including the original poster boys—sandy-haired twins Thom & Von Scarsdale—not to mention our own prized progeny, son Tennyson and grandson Wadsworth. Boys will be boys and thank goodness for that.

He was big as life, that one. #meatloaf #satire

If Memory Swerves®, ’twas on this day 26 September 1969 that widowed architect Mike Brady submitted to divorced homemaker Carol Martin’s relentless demands to “put a ring on it,” lest the friendly benefits they enjoyed promptly cease. That's the way they all became the bloody Brady Bunch.

Two years after KitKat® unwittingly entered the stateside political fray, the city of Springfield, Ohio continues to celebrate their love of the crisp, layered confection, party lines be damned. Bravo, Citizen Chocolatiers!

A birthday shoutout to America's favourite Boss: Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen, born 77 years ago this day, 23 September 1949. Here's to glory days past, present and future, Citizen!

Whilst Celebrity Realtor Derwood Trumpeteer takes America back in time with his quasi state-run telly channel, 'tis worth remembering that England broke its own state monopoly when #ITV launched 71 years ago today. Alrighty, Almighty Blighty!

The station house has only just learned that yesterday was designated "Wife Appreciation Day." Yours Truly Dooley wonders if 'tis against protocol to show our gratitude a day late with one of these double-handled ceramic mug thingies (pictured). #WifeAppreciationDay #Satire

As I Underhand It™: Little Tramp sent packing. #CharlieChaplin #Satire #DooleyNoted

Paisley-drenched American ex-pat Jimi Hendrix died 56 years ago today in the Notting Hill district of West London. The lefty gunslinger joined the pantheon of musical deities at just 27 years of age. We trust the oft-lone-monikered Hendrix is rocking in peace with his mates.

As I Underhand It™.

This sanctimonious meatball has been off the radar for a spell, but 'tis a slow news day on our watch. Yours Truly Dooley® has never set foot in the land o' palms and psalms, but we're partial to what Master Ron is plating here, so Happy Day, Citizen Floridian, and pass the Parmesano!

Remembering, as best we bloody can, the original real-i-telly litigator. Mason was, you'll forgive us for saying, the wheel deal.

The station house remembers, as best we bloody can, The Penguin. A self-styled deviant without peer. Dastardly, but no match for the Dynamism of the Duo. Wawk, wawk, wawk. #RIP

Remembering you-know-Who, with fondness. #moon #gonetoosoon

As I Underhand It™.

If Memory Swerves.™ #poeticlicense

The week's end is upon us, citizens. Dooley says #Relax

Adieu, Dolly. 😥

Channelling history, as best we bloody can.

The Station House salutes the inimitable English valet with the improbably French surname. A gentleman nonpareil, long departed, but with us in spirit on this day.

Artificially-Inseminated (AI) depiction shared with some hesitancy under the proper authority of Constable Dooley, Internet Patrolman®.

Remembering, as best we bloody well can, the earth mother of summertime festivals, fifty-seven years ago this weeks' end. #woodstock

Just in from our morning rounds. #DooleyNoted #GamblePaysOff

The Station House salutes Celebrity Realtor Derwood Trumpeteer, whose patrols of DC's cobbled streets—aboard a vintage, foot-to-pedal-powered Huffy cruiser with modified, high-rise handlebars—remain a masterclass in silent vigilance and stealth McDonaldland runs. Bravo, Citizen Kommandant.

The workweek is upon us, citizens. Cue the hustle. YOU the hustle!

The heat is on, Citizen Augustans.

Well, do you? #WantaFanta

The station salutes a giant among men: TED Cassidy. We remember when the towering harpsichordist served as butler to Gomez Addams. Today, he and his stage stalkers lurch into endless takes of positivity, mindfulness, and Radical Careering. Bravo Citizen Undead Orator™!

Artificially-Inseminated (AI) depiction of conspiracy-addled arsewipe Alex Jones created absent permission under the police-keeping authority of Yours Truly, Constable Dooley (IP).