The Elder Dan

Accidentally giving away that nobody is going to be able to claim it. Should have made it a plausible number.

Elon Musk has spent more money on American elections in the last two years than George Soros has in his entire life.

My pal Danielle Koenig shared that her father Walter Koenig passed away last night at age 90. A performer whose kindness and warmth shone through the screen. He will be well remembered.

"The moral of the story is that nothing is funny and cool and everything is sponsored by gambling companies."

We've finally answered the question: "What if you gave a mall ninja $1 trillion dollars?"

The article behind this headline could have been one (1) word long.

oh man this is like Dave Sim making comics journalists sign a statement that they agree he is not a misogynist before they can interview him

I’ve never heard of this show before but as an “Orphans of the Sky” kid, its premise is completely my jam.

I think this is literally the only thing he has learned since the start of his second administration, this one elementary spelling fact.

I feel like one could maintain an ongoing news thread of stories whose general shape is "societies lovingly tie the nooses with which they will eventually hang themselves". www.nytimes.com/2026/10/01/w...

"There is some point at which we have spent SO much money on AI that it finally results in productivity gains that make it all worth it" is the new Laffer Curve.

Obligatory "Jamiegar McKelvigon" joke goes here.

In utter fucking dork news, a company named after the dragon's mountain in THE HOBBIT was ripped off in a clever arbitrage run by a company named after the rogue AI in NEUROMANCER. www.theinformation.com/articles/ere...

"I happen to know some fifth-graders, and statistically it is likely that one or two of them will grow up to be terrific investment bankers, but I would never want to guess which ones."

Ten years ago we had Steve Kennedycenter, Johnny Reflectingpool, and Bob Eastwing but now… www.npr.org/2026/09/17/n...

I practically went RUNNING to grab mine from the shelf and check

"What if we create super-intelligences that out-think us, outlive us, take control of all our resources, and decide to enslave us?" You fucking dummies, we've already done that, they're called corporations.

When he puts it that way, it sounds like the President was re-elected specifically as a Communist accelerationist plot to ensure their viability starting more or less now. Did this bozo just give the game away?

This newsletter has an incredible business model that is unfortunately very misunderstood. www.bloomberg.com/opinion/news...

Gonna be a crazy day in our parsley bed, looks like.

Tsk, there goes the neighborhood. www.ft.com/content/32aa...

"It is not the first time Huang has said AGI has arrived." lol www.businessinsider.com/nvidia-jense...

Probably gonna be a mixed bag when this bubble finally pops.

Apparently SCOTUS has decided the President can turn the White House into a gold-plated toilet paid for by corporate welfare buskers.

K-Shaped Recovery would be a great name for a really angry punk band.

Also, he meets his new girlfriend during a standardized test.

Some kids skip school.

A desert farmboy does his chores instead of going into town with his friends.

An aging admiral’s chance encounter with a long-forgotten professional acquaintance also reunites him with his adult son.

An ex-cop has to find some servants that ran away from their job.

Grandpa's not gonna like that. Someone's gonna get a whippin'. www.cnbc.com/2026/08/28/k...

Every time I see "Woke 1.0" it makes me think we should just get all of Woke into a source control repository with branching and proper versioning and some unit tests. Then we can ask Claude to explain what it actually does and also to fix all its problems with no mistakes.

Last I checked, the point of D-Day was to keep it absolutely secret until it was underway...? www.ft.com/content/cb86...

Going out on a limb here to guess that literally nobody asked the obvious next question that should have instantly followed up.

Cannot wait to hate-watch this movie about the SCUBA guy being eaten by a sperm whale and surviving. Sixty minutes of air my ass, you’ll burn a thousand PSI just flailing around like that in the whale’s mouth.

Pretty sure Substack has replaced patriotism as the last refuge of a scoundrel these days.

What's your favorite Bible verse? Wrong answers only.

Disney+ released a list of essential projects to watch before AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY: -CONDORMAN -THE BLACK HOLE -THAT DARN CAT -PETE’S DRAGON -SUPERDAD -THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE -HERBIE GOES BANANAS -ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN -DARBY O’GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE -SON OF FLUBBER -THE GNOME-MOBILE

cool we finally discovered what the military equivalent of bankrupting a casino is

thunderstruck sounds like a song the gremlins from gremlins would make if you locked them in a Guitar Center

Man if I were the reporter who struck this vein I would keep mining it until someone stopped me with force. “How long do you think they should stay out there without respite? Do you expect other armed forces to have equally long deployment? Say more.”