Art official spintelligence

I have never been to Cheesecake Factory and have never ordered any food delivery. But I was a Jimmy John’s bike delivery guy in college (west Lafayette Indiana)

I’ll probably never have a reason to go inside the new signia hotel once it’s open but thanks to the way I look earlier today I was able to put on a hard hat and high vis vest and whatnot then walk in and poke around.

I hate food delivery first and foremost for the ableist reasons and then after that comes the worker exploitation and pollution and urbanism type reasons.

Typing this while driving on the interstate

I love the Microsoft Authenticator app. Someone sends me a request to join their thing. I open the Authenticator app and it tells me to enter the codes shown from the app that I am already in that is not showing me codes. Excellent. Things are so safe in here. No one will ever see them

Never underestimate my ability to get sweaty

Chinese takeout place puts forks in the bag for how many people they assume are eating based on the size of the order. Wife and I usually get 4 fork orders but yesterday was a 6 fork order.

Went camping this weekend and obviously there were people who ran loud generators 24/7 because that’s just camping these days but one of them also brought a leaf blower and spent an hour blowing the leaves out of his site which was a new one for me.

ladies and gentlemen of the jury. the prosecution and their witness describe the suspect as having soft supple palms and trouble gripping the weapon. but my client is a dry guy! who would never get the moisturizing benefit of lotion. so do we have the right person on trial today?

Wonder if it pisses the cat off when I wake up at 5:45am and start blasting Queens of the Stone Age. I know it pisses the rooster off. Wife is indifferent.

They are using me as a test subject for the genetically mutated war dogs to practice against but so far I’ve killed every single one. Back to the drawing board sporty spice

Riding home from work and someone in a Range Rover tried to kill me in the same crosswalk where I got hit two years ago. Then I ran into a friend and we drank two beers each behind the abandoned school on Lewis street. Such is the way of the bicycle

I love a cold tomato right off the vine. Also enjoy a sun warmed tomato off the vine. Will even go for a temperature neutral tomato off the vine. You could say I am a fan of the tomato.

If he’s worried about dying in jail there is something he could do right now today that guarantees he will never go to jail or die in there

Not to make it about me but if they had televised that execution I actually would have hit bingo on my 2026 board.

Did you know you can bikepack in brown county without paying a shop to show you a route? DM me I’ll send you a route. Hell pick a weekend and I’ll go with you

DPW operations has a flatbed and a crew cab pickup with 6 employees total parked on the Monon to clean graffiti that says “you are loved” off the trail. Thank you for your service

Does anyone know if it’s good that DPW is posting job descriptions that say “we have secrets to hide and we want your help hiding them!” www.governmentjobs.com/careers/indi...

All the stuff the AI guys say is stuff you would have your 60+ year old dad institutionalized for saying

I appreciate councilor Michael Paul hart including that he didn’t catch any fish in two days of trying last week in his newsletter. Skill issue

Ok which one of you sent an anonymous letter to DPW saying you were talking to the governor about Monon trail flood damage and were going to fix it yourself?

Do you disavow bofa

Something they actually couldn’t make today is The House on the Rock. Because of building/zoning codes.

I would make a great addition to any commune if anyone is looking to get a solid late round pick.

I’m in Wisconsin where it’s 51 F and windy and this guy is walking his dog with his whole ass out. How do you not feel that cold wind in your hole? Obv he watched his dog shit in the park and left it there

Doesn’t have a side mirror for me to rip off 2/10

At Culver’s and just heard someone say “I’m only dairy free on weekends”

According to court documents, suspect bit the officer's finger so hard that a "crunch" could be heard on the officer's body camera. Court documents say this bite and holding of the officer's finger in suspect’s mouth is what caused the officer to be dragged by the vehicle for about 10 feet Tight

Recreating a wind vane from first principles

Tabby cats all have the majin buu symbol on their heads

Has it been a record year for diarrhea and food recalls or has it been a banner year for weak people exposing their tummy problems?

I got a drop of this batch of apple cider in my eye while bottling and it burns like hell. That’s how you know it’s the good stuff.

Me 🤝 Yeast Making alcohol until you die

No one who works for Salesforce has ever been able to tell me what their job is in straightforward terms

Thank you to the person with the Pittsburgh area code who just called me 4 times in 5 minutes and didn’t leave a voicemail. I promise that if we ever cross paths I won’t be negatively polarized against any cause/project/event you are trying to pull off. I won’t actively dislike you forever.

Looking forward to posting “we needed this rain” if it ever rains again

Have the day off and was painting my dining room without regard to time or space when I was struck by the sudden urge for a gosh damn beer. Went to the fridge to crack God’s tasty elixir and saw it was 5 o clock on the dot. Beautiful

DPW sending the cone guy out to put a cone on every walnut on the Monon

Got home from a three day bike trip that went very clean no mechanicals no injuries and immediately stepped in cat barf coming in my back door

They should turn the pitch clock off for holiday games

Asked my camping companion to please sleep on his side because his snoring was really bad but once he fixed that I realized we no longer had the anti raccoon suppressive fire from his erratic honking and shooing

Texted state senator Aaron freeman at 1am saying “you should sponsor a bill to allow cold beer to be sold in gas stations”

My dad is upset I didn’t check on him during this hurricane. Dude you are supposed to be here in Indiana! I didn’t even know you were in a possible landfall area!

Was sitting on the patio of tick tock lounge today and watched someone let their dog piss on my bike around the corner at the racks.

A bicycle and a human body are both a series of tube. Some of the tubes are connected in parallel though.

Replying all: I don’t need to take this training because when it comes to sexual harassment it’s a real “I am the one who knocks” situation over here

Just told the HR person that I’m putting them on a performance improvement plan. That sword cuts two ways!

Catholicism be damned my boy can work a grill