Dr. Neo Cortex

alright everyone I've listened to all of your suggestions and thrown them in the trash. did you forget who is the leader here and who are the cloned peons at my command

perhaps it's time to devise a new minion.....maybe something strong like a gorilla, but smart as well...and be able to match the bandicoots power by jumping....fuck it I'll give them some kinda electric gun too

n gin listen to me i honestly don't give a flying fuck about your mechs. every time you pull one out the coots pull some absolute Bull shit and destroy it anyways. he fucking throws wumpa into the engine!!!!

that's what the green ones are for!!!!!!

i'll be honest i just don't think that was real. like some kind of fever dream after inhaling too much of the fumes mixed with wumpa

stubbed my toe on an iron crate holy shit why do we even make this fucking things you can't even open them

thank fuck he can't read

oh neo, what happened to the life in your eyes. you used to wake up every morning with visions of conquest and now i can barely get out of bed to make one death trap

Last Repost; I don't remembering being so pale and british??? what the fuck

My latest vid has been one of the quickest to breach 1 million views in my channel’s history. Thanks so much. Voiceover has already begun on the next vid, stay tuned 🩷

look at your tiny pale stupid gems, unlike my large purple chad crystals. And you've got to collect MORE of them? pathetic as fuck

Anyone trained in the art of walking backwards and forwards, got a few new positions opened up after the Incident

put CTR Nitro Fueled on pc. The world yearns for more opportunities to play as me, or for the freaks out there to play as a baby version of me

you know he never gave that blimp back. fucker leaves me for dead and rides into the sunset with that feeemale

SECRET TRICK IN CRASH BANDICOOT 1: at the start of the game, ignore the boxes and run straight into the first hole. If you do this enough times you'll find a SECRET surprise!

Yes Homer....collect the crystals for me, and we can finally achieve world domina- I mean, take care of that Ned Flanders...

Dont like how hes looking at that hog. I should call the police

Every other scientist pulling up their grandfathers shit but mine just teached me about throwing pies or some shit. No i had to develop all the science all by myself which technically means im smarter than them all

Can n gin just launch a second rocket in there the asymmetry is pissing me off

pimpstripe gets all the bitches but i get the ladies so we know whose the real winner here

Milking uka uka.........the fuck was i thinking.........

If elected ruler of the world i promise a busty bandicoot babe for every supporter. Comes in several flavours such as blonde, scientist and brazil

Can't sleep, every time i close my eyes i see that crotch thrust causing me to bolt upright in a fight or flight response

I don't know how they made him worse but damn it's not impossible. Punting this fucker into orbit if it comes near me i don't even need a gun for this

Typa shit i see in my nightmares. This is why making him tall is a mistake and I've already got my death lazer targeted at tim sweenys location. Just need some dumb fuck to gather 25 crystals for me to fire at that son of a bitch

sorry corty they'll get u next time

what the fuck i did not make him that tall!!! he's supposed to be cowering beneath me!!! and he's got that purple dickhead as a dog!!! sick of this shit man!!! let me in there so I can blast him myself

anyone got any experience with charging up crystals. like is there a special technique to it

ooough i dont care anymore. been licking one of the crystals just to feel the tingle

my niece could beat that robotnik girls ass. she aint even got metal hands

fuse with my car. fucking fuse with it so i can fire missiles

and why aren't YOU in uniform???

he's literally the worst because he flips between being smart and insane. the smart one talks a lot of shit I don't care about getting beans on my bedsheets and then he goes insane and fucking. starts bouncing on my leg

bedbound with a broken leg after an accident with the hoverboard. minions are taking turns being the nurse and i cant decide whose worse the fuckers keep spilling soup on me

who the fuck is that. don't mess me about crash

don't tell any of the other freaks but tiny is my favourite. always does what daddy asks, smashes without question. dingo and koala could learn a thing or two from him

bet none of the other evil scientists had to deal with dumb fucks like i do on the daily. is it because of how cool and smart i am it must be surely

anyone good at making tapestries and stained glass windows. need some new ones to capture my beautiful visage. plus the bitchicoot tore them up and ended up running through one of my windows

komodo bros said theyre gonna get crash with their "secret chinese technique". what the fuck they're not even chinese

i originally tried to sabotage the place for the fun of it but it turns out poisoning the food and setting tnt crates everywhere just made it safer, so i said fuck this and left him to his own devices

that's where you're WRONG when crash meets my dry as fuck mummy I got in all thems pyramids

as the old saying goes, "everything you make under me is mine. now get back to work"

Is it cultural appropriation if i go back in time and become a pharaoh and plaster my face all over the pyramids. Like technically they made it after me now

Who told my minions about making a union. You fucking idiots I made you, good luck getting hired anywhere else when you have 3 arms and 4 legs

i made n brio invent me a phone that wouldn't break so he gave me the N. Okia

Im not above criticism i know i should learn from my mistakes just don't take it personallly when i have you perma chained in my dungeon for saying such stupid shit. And make sure you actually swipe at his ankles this time

Going back in time to find out magic exists really fucked me up. Howd my minions learn to do that they literally don't have a soul

I dropped my phone off the tower several days ago and finally found it again. Amazed it still works but kinda wish it killed the bandicoot on the way down

N gin thinks hes a chicken. The egg lurks

Fuckinnnnnn conksuck death ray jammed again. This has to be some guardian angel bullshit i had him in my sights