dadvans | the winnipeg jorts

i’m so sorry to my old Twitter hockey mutuals who are about to find out getting off Twitter last year did not make me gentle or kind, it made me worse actually, it made me stupid

YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING (2026), dir. Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim

just saw You Can See Everything with @sadieseduskie.bsky.social and now I can’t wait for when the Elizabeth Holmes/Nathan Fielder Yuletide fic inevitably drops this year

in the beginning, a scaramucci event was spaced by 10 days. the last one, zacharia, lasted 5 days. in 4 days we could see a scaramucci event every 8 hours until they are coming every 4 minutes.

animal sanctuary farm. i'm hiring professional caregivers, doctors, specialists. i'm building quality habitats. i'm giving paid intern opportunities to young folks who want to be involved in non-profits or vet practice. i'm getting at least one tiger that can't be released to the wild as a treat.

but i'm a cheerleader! for tax purposes

grimly realizing that i have to get hot again if i really want to piss of my coworkers

Please don’t say this out loud George Lucas will absolutely see it as a stupidity challenge and say “bet”

“If you don’t like public executions just don’t watch it” says the crowd trying to ban drag shows and books

what is it about 95% of a24 films shitting the bed at the finish line? I can go see the most beautiful captivating curious movie and the ending will always leave me saying “ok?”

the funniest thing i've heard someone say about me recently was "how did you feel when you found out [dadvans] was born in the 80s"

culturally, all of gen x grew up to be pat smear lighting up a cigarette while krist novoselic prattles on about authenticity at the mtv video music awards on cbs.

fall hump! fest was only ok. loved vagina paddle pool, excessive strip tease and quebecois noah's ark shorts. tired of bisexual lighting iphone cam and strangely ubiquitous "someone from berlin submits medical kink" shorts. favorite kink piece as always is something i'm not into and can barely watch

having a cat is like ohhhh my sweet baby stinky angel i love you more than all the stars in the sky you’re perfect you’re the best thing to ever happen to me please stop shitting under my bed 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

also I have to break up with my therapist bc she didn’t like widows bay. girl how are you supposed to manage my mental health crises if you don’t get Patricia

the weirdest part of long term living in close range of a major international airport and air force base and Boeing field has been regularly seeing planes since trump took office and thinking “plane isn’t supposed to be flying there”

enneagram but it’s just hot sauce (I’m cholula with a tapatio wing)

once again back at the office coffee shop where every barista is clearly on some kind of HRT and realizing half of them also have day collars on and am starting to wonder if the entire staff is in a polycule

the character of daniel molloy has me entirely convinced that anthony bourdain just unwittingly became a vampire and someone wrote a show about it

realest sign of the times being my most comforting form of media is 90s recordings of Iron Chef on Food Network with the ads

I DO think it’s funny I bump into NHL players whenever I come home from Montreal. Last time was Burkie, this time was one of our D-Men showing up for pre-season. 6’9” and he brought his acoustic guitar I’m so soft

it’s that time of the year again

I did not stop drinking Bloody Caesars and head to my gate at 8AM for this on my birthday!!!!!!

Amazing.

ok but the most important Ludwig Göransson soundtrack is "greendale is where i belong" and i will die on this hill