Daft Penguin

In light of recent events, a new pin is needed. Bigots, TERFs and other such morons, including those who believe DEI practices take jobs, just fuck off. They don't, you're an idiot, I'm being polite, and no you won't change my mind. Everyone else? Hello! Film and TV nerd here. It's nice to talk.

Add "between my legs" to a movie title: The Two Towers Between My Legs

OK, who in the 911 writer's room watched Dante's Peak over the break?

Holy shit, Wildwood. That is a film that throws hooks like Ali and lands every single one. Every one. I remember when Laika were doing Boxtrolls and the like, and that was and remains impressive, but Wildwood is like Peter Jackson going from his zombie movie to LOTR. A leap across the Grand Canyon.

Remember when the BBC put out nice, proper drama on a Sunday night, not the inane dross that they're currently shitting out that's filled with unfunny comedians working material more wooden than Pinnochio that has the same production values of CITV circa 1996. fuck, I miss good telly.

So Sokka reincarnated as a gay airbender. Cool. Not sure about his opening narration, but I'm down for this.

I wasn't alive when Labyrinth dropped, but I imagine the "I don't know what the fuck was in the drinks on that set but hell yeah, I'm watching that!" vibes I'm getting from this were similar.

The best reasons to watch Other Mommy are its kid star. One, because she's great in a film that is otherwise fairly mediocre aside from seeing Jessica Chastain be Weird, and two, because she's 10, and I am Very Interested in finding out how the hell they shot that film without traumatizing her.

Mad Max and the Last Crusade

OK, it's from Anna and the Apocalypse (shock, horror), but usually it depends on my mood, so one of: Hollywood Ending Turning My Life Around Give Them A Show or I Will Believe

You are so on your own for that. I am not getting dragged into a fight between the Goddesses of Strategy and Love and the literal Queen of the Gods. That way lies curses and wars and probably the end of the world.

And the award for the Most Not Like Anything I Expected It To Be Film of the Year goes to Hope. I mean, I went in knowing @blcagnew.bsky.social loves it and it's Korean, so that's not a lot to go on, but still. Every time you think you have that one down, it comes back with something else.

Honestly? Don't really care, as long as he goes and gets those bloody mood swings recognised as depression earlier than I did!

So it turns out that the author of that "Harry Potter is raised by Tony Stark and basically revolutionizes the entire wizarding world using his brain not magic" fanfic is a nutcase too. Whodathunkit?

Zombies eat people, it counts.

Happy Death Day to Tree.

when the Monday is so bad, the universe realises it owes you one. Yay!

Make a band edible: S Club 7Up

Genuine question for the Americans seeing this that have watched Shaun the Sheep 3: do you know what a Womble is? (Just one for the many, many delights found in Beast of Missy Bottom).

Just had a thought: blowing the relay in Arrival. Presumably it's slaughtered just about everyone in about ten billion miles, yes, but it also means that whatever ending you choose, if there's any reapers or people there, they don't get synthesized or controlled or destroyed, because no relay. Huh

Just heard about Kane Chronicles going ahead at Disney+. BAD BLUSKY! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME? I HAVE TO FIND OUT FROM FACEBOOK?! REALLY? NO BISCUITS FOR YOU!

Sheldon Cooper set disability representation back decades.

So I've just seen that Coyote Vs ACME and K-Pop Demon Hunters are dropping in blu-ray the same day. Now that is an absolute doozy of a double-bill.

Koop Demon Hunters finally has a release date! November 9! Bugger. That's the week after my week off.

Mass Effect 1, so if I stay on Earth, I'm absolutely fine, ta very much, a quarter of a million will do very nicely indeed.

So filmmakers have some sort of time-based dimension manipulation powers, right? Or at least the good ones? Because no fucking way is End of Oak Street 99 minutes dead. There's way too much of it for 99, it's at least 109. I mean that in a good way. Although McGregor needs to wash that accent out.

Aha! A version of A Christmas Carol coming out this year that's not starring a creep and generally pointless and probably shite!

Coming this season, on The Rookie. (Not like that, you dirty people!)

Oh my gods. I didn't think they could do it again, but this looks like they've given it their best shot!

Gwaith gwych, bachgen! Nawr gadewch i ni chwythu'r thong 'na a mynd adref! (Welsh is weird).

I am so glad you asked, I have a list: Edam, emental, mozzarella, wensleydale, double Gloucester, red Leicester, gouda, and yes I have put all of these and probably more on the same pizza and yes it was Bloody Lovely.

I have bought Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief... 5 times I think. The one with the shit cover in 2010 now probably burnt by a former friend, Kindle, Graphic Novel, the new hardback 20th anniversary edition, and as part of a box set for the first series for my niece's birthday.

I have to wait 3 months for this. 11 to see it on stage.

Been in the process of transferring my tech over to the new house of late, just got the telly sorted today, hence I'm A Behind on certain releases (STFU about Aang and Star Trek, I'm waiting on a PS4 controller tomorrow to run AP and D+). That said: Mr Cavill, your Cumberbatch is showing.

An autistic man with a special interest in the Harry Potter series has made the decision to value the lives and dignity of his trans friends more than a book about a wizard who grows up to be a cop, sources have reported.

Man, I forgot you're a squishy witch at the start of Hades 2...