Meatghost

The unnamed town where Bob's Burgers is set seems like a completely lovely place to live.

Well, now, you've got to be our GUEST You stick around, and put it to the TEST Got service that's far beyond the BEST Waiters that live inside a CHEST Rest! Ingest! I said we always cook the meal that you request Amusing all the bouche with citrus zest We do a little dance while you digest

I'm certain that no aspect of my health is going to be improved by buying a deli slicer. And yet...

Had an extremely nordic-themed Sunday.

There exists, in a free housing market, a certain percentage of people living in their cars and dying in the cold that results in the maximum profit for landlords. That percentage is not zero.

This little dumdum flew into the sliding glass door to my back porch and had to chill for an hour or so while while he recovered. The internet told me not to give him food or water, but I really wanted to.

We don't talk enough about the staggering failure of user interface design of the modern credit card machine. Is there any other device that is so ubiquitous, yet so opaque in its functionality that EVERY ONE of them requires a handwritten sign with supplemental instructions?

Whenever people make predictions about the NFL, I like to point out that basically no one has ever spent more than 2 hours per year actively playing professional football, which is an insufficient sample size for anyone to know anything about anything.

I'm watching Michael Clayton for the first time, and I'm very stressed out about the possibility of Tom Wilkinson dropping these baguettes.

I've noticed a weird correlation between entertainment products where being moral and kind is part of the brand identity, and fanbases where a significant contingent are absolutely insufferable.

Why does being sick make my scalp hurt?

It's weird how reliably a strong disbelief in the impact of random chance is a conservative value.

If you bought one of those vaccum packed tubes of ground beef and cooked it in the oven, in that shape and without seasoning , that would be the food equivalent of the Amazon Original series Reacher. And I at least partly mean that as a compliment.

If you had asked me, I would've told you not to build a web directly in front of the AC vent.

I know it's problematic for me to be the one suggesting it, but I feel like if the nation's high school kids started showing their dicks to Flock cameras, we could have the founders in prison by year's end.

If I had a pet possum, I would name him Alan Twodick.

As a progressive, straight, cis male in my 40s, I've really found that the best way to avoid misgendering people is to never meet anyone new, because I already have like six friends, and most interactions beyond that circle can be accomplished through short, impersonal phrases and physical gestures.

Rewatching @jonbois.bsky.social's excellent History of the Minnesota Vikings, as I do in the week before the pre-season, and Googling random players, I learned that Teddy Bridgewater retired today. Goodbye and good luck to a real one. Bless the knees and keep them healthy.

It's weird that the media player embedded in Patreon works better than the sites I use to play free podcasts.

Tiramisu, but it's biscuits and gravy.

The Trump administration is now officially worse at voter-roll lawsuits than the 2017 Browns were at football. 0-17 www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/...

My big Discourse takeaway from The Odyssey is that the movie is thematically and philosophically woke as hell in ways that seem to have totally escaped the notice of the weird bigots on the internet.

The silver lining of "go woke, go broke" as a slogan is that no conservative can admit they're wrong about anything, so they have to keep moving the goalpost for wokeness more and more wokeward every time a business venture signals progressive values and still succeeds.

You know the feeling when you're holding a drink or whatever, and aside from the physical awareness, there's like a persistent mental warning light that's like, "Remember, you have something in your hand." Does anyone else have that when they CTRL+C, but haven't CTRL+V'ed yet? Jobs are weird.

Is it a good sign if the department-wide meeting about AI optimization includes a slide listing the stages of grief?

It's weird that we never questioned the decision that public school kids would specifically need to learn the names of three types of columns used in classical architecture.

Proposed constitutional amendment: To be eligible for any federal office, you can't have ever earned more in a year than the current salary of that office.

Maybe the most optimistic political development in recent months is the Right's shift to ranting about the evils of "communism" because "socialism" polls too well. Despite MAGA's rehabilitation effort, white suburban centrist normies still seem to feel no particular fondness for McCarthyism, so...

Just saw a video about the popular myth that medieval people didn't bathe, though there were LATER trends of believing that bathing was bad for you. Seems like the "Everyone is 12 now" crowd who hates getting flu shots and only wants to eat beef is primed to turn against bathtime any day now.

Of all ways Trump radiates weakness and insecurity, the crowd-size obsession is my favorite one, because of how it's led to news media just gleefully posting b-roll of these haunted, empty venues. Every shot is just begging for a Sounds of Silence needle-drop and a deadpan Ron Howard voiceover.

When did, "Make an assertion, then take a drink from a big cup" become a conservative signifier? It's a thing all over vertical video. They're so weird, you guys.

A belated happy Fathers Day from me and my meat son.

Question: Is it neurotypical to do all the neurotypical stuff, but ON PURPOSE? Answer: Who cares?

The worst tendencies of the left and the right are both insistence that we're doomed if things aren't exactly a certain way. For the right, that way is however things were when they were 12. For the left, the way is just different enough from other leftists that they can't cooperate effectively.

Has anyone written a fantasy/sf story set in a post-apocalypse where there are also vampires or other fantasy creatures, not caused by the apocalypse, but just like, "Well, we don't need food and bullets dont kill us, so there are just proportionately a lot more of us now, so we can't hide anymore."

If I told my friend that I was throwing them a birthday party, and then had the party three weeks early, at my house, on my birthday, they might suspect that the party wasn't really about them.

Hey, America. If we all rush him at once, we can beat him up and take it. We each get $2,600.

If Back to the Future was remade today, the song Marty plays at the dance so his parents will fall in love would be Kiss From a Rose.

Someone should start an Etsy shop with a bunch of cute label stickers and 3D printed shaker tops and special racks to turn prescription bottles into spice and seasoning storage.

Has Congress ever impeached the holder of a sub-cabinet position on the grounds of "being a fucking dork"?

Congratulations to Virginia, on behalf of my fellow Minnesotans. We're still keeping the flag.

I just ate some grapes and small pieces of cheese out of a stoneware bowl while listening to relaxing music, and like, this is a normal, chill evening, but I get why the ancient Greeks (or whoever) considered this to be degenerate hedonist behavior.

The first batch of spring bugs has led to the return of spider season at my house. I generally let the sizeable population of spiders do what they want, but three times this week, I have walked into a web built across a doorway, which implies that they do not recognize the truce.

Say what you want about Karoline Leavitt as a person, but hardly anyone is talking about Trump pooping his pants a few days ago, so she's definitely doing something right.