dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻

Jail?

just occasionally there is a good news story

There are still some tickets left for my ill advised GIG in November supporting insanely brilliant Cure tribute the InCureables, if you love Robert Smith you won't be disappointed.... Tickets are here: wegottickets.com/event/667671/

can all the flag shaggers kindly fuck off out of London thanks

ok Jeff Bezos has really gone too far now

this might be the best celebration ever 🎉 🏆 #Lionesses #Euro2025

Amazing stuff from the #lionesses so many heroes on the pitch and a genius off it in Sarina Weigman 🏆

Donald Trump is playing golf in Scotland if anyone wants to go along and show their support

very lucky to see the insanely brilliant Wet Leg at the Electric Ballroom

Cole Palmer wishing Donald Trump would get the fuck off the winners podium is glorious 😄 #ClubWorldCup

perfect comedy timing from the Speaker at #PMQs calling Nigel Farage after Starmer promises to go after “the fraudsters, the grifters, the con artists no matter who they are” 😄

real shame that Cristiano Ronaldo couldn’t be bothered to attend Diogo Jota’s funeral - he had a pressing engagement to tone his suntan aboard his millionaire yacht. what an absolute nobhead 🙄

if you love The Cure… my indietastic band trainboy are doing a gig with The Incureables, the UK’s *best* tribute to Robert Smith & co. Come see us! wegottickets.com/event/667671/

if you know who the person is who the Tories have put up for #PMQs this week well done because no one else does

I’m not sure how your evening is going but I’ve spent the last hour telling ChatGPT how much of a twat it is

amazing apology from the Torygraph about their made up story 🫠 I thought it was an amusing tale so that’s a shame

even Tory Deputy PM Chris Philp's shirt collars are in open revolt against him #PMQs

just want to post this to annoy all the wrong people 😙 Arise Sir Sadiq!

just a quick reminder that Elon Musk calling out Donald Trump is brilliant and Donald Trump calling out Elon Musk is brilliant but both are still absolutely massive cunts

so just to catch up: Elon says Trump is a paedo who should be impeached but he didn't have a problem with that when he bought the election for him Trump says Elon is "mediocre" and a drug addict who definitely did a Nazi salute and should go back to Africa GIVE ME MORE 🍿

top entertainment 🍿

Elon Musk explaining that he got a black eye from Lil X punching him EVEN HIS OWN SON HATES HIM 😄

Elon Musk at the Trump conference wondering how long before he can get hold of another bag of ketamine

Robert Jenrick is now jumping out from behind a bush and telling people to do their laces up

just occasionally there is a really funny news story to cheer you up 😄

it’s been quite a day revisiting the Brexit wars to hear lots of foaming gammons rant about fish again 🤷‍♂️

really gutted about Gary Lineker leaving #motd early such a brilliant broadcaster and all round decent guy 🥺 …this is not what I pay my license fee for!

I am watching #bbcqt with Richard Tice only because I couldn’t find a rusty nail to repeatedly hammer into my face

if you’re wondering who Robert Prevost is he is the Pope and he is a Catholic

live to the Conclave!

is the new Pope a Catholic?

who did this 😄

people say Donald Trump hasn’t achieved anything as President but he has now won elections in both Canada and Australia for the centre left 🇨🇦🇦🇺 go Donald!! ✊🎉

do people who vote for Reform because they “hate the Tories” not realise that Reform are Tories just even more idiotic

Andrea Jenkyns first day as Mayor to all the poor people in Lincolnshire

very handy of Russell Brand to have created a media empire based on deep state conspiracy theories so that when his past finally catches up with him he can make even more money out of it all

Russell Brand at court to face justice… let’s hope they throw the booky wook at him

if you’re going to vote for Nigel Farage and Reform UK tomorrow could you also paint the word nobhead across your face too cheers 👍

"all you have to do is send JD Vance to Moscow"

new Torygraph columnist just dropped and it’s a classic

some good news just to cheer you up 🥰 you’re welcome

when is the JD Vance vs Liz Truss final and can it please be televised

got to say meeting JD Vance would finish me off too

if you're trying to work out who to support out of Joe Rogan or Douglas Murray the answer is that they're both absolute nobheads

call it Lettuce Social and all will be forgiven Liz

just occasionally there is a good news story 🥰

😄