johnny deformed

I get a notification when you log on thinking of me

today is fridayyy

my wife and i have our first baby start calling myself like The Coffee Dad tell the dog we're actually in a great time in history for QoL she knows what she has to do the man she loved is gone i gurgle up blue blood 'didnt i understand the assignment babe' 'promise me... blue no matter wh-hhh....'

day 5 of im making a videogame

listen up, lemme take a chomp of ya, jack - joe bitin'

30 rock is in the hou se tonight

right wing bigots have admitted - the “trans women in bathrooms” issue - the “trans women in sports” issue and - the “trans kids getting surgery” issue were all MADE UP TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY are you paying attention?

posting letters into mailboxes saying "schools are pinning big shameful donkey dicks onto your little boys. the principal is sucking their boy titties out through a straw. this is unnatural"

tfw when a woman nice braests.... >>>>>>

wife: will you tell me am i virtuous husband: no w: that i am pretty h: no w: i have intelligent h: no the wife put the gun to her tomach and shoot. the husband hold her dieing h: "becasue who am i to tells you anything? you are perfect."

day 4 of im making a videogame

ive got a thing on me

pooh bear winnie the pooh bear chasing some honeybees

day 3 of im making a videogame

hitting the work colleage you've never met irl with the "absolutely dude!"

day 2 of im making a videogame

stinking loser gf, me bf

im making a videogame

The New Humors: Pee: brings good fortune but too much creates envious thoughts Poop: makes you anxious. get it out soon as you can. drink more coffee Sperms: antisocial behaviour. shoplifting Vomit: makes you cooler. hold it in

motherfuck, inc.

couldnt watch this episode and i had the vhs and my friends wanted to watch it on my 7th birthday so i went in my room

Tuner (2026)

If a narrative game is good but not great, I probably won't finish it. If a roguelike is annoying and number go up, I will play it for 300 hours

Abundance used to be a hopeful idea, now libertarians took it to mean "we don't have to slow down" Effective altruism too, then they took it to mean "all the money should be mine"

The Road by cormac mcarthy but they have to eat everything they touch

i begin every chatgpt request with "how might a handsome fellow like me, and his hideous assistant (you),"

i would kill to be wearing a damp shirt at all times

Hail to you and praise to Re! The heads of the Children of Impotence have been removed. (BDF)

edited for brevity and reuse

the primary benefit of money (cash, or 'dollars' to some) is getting nice things for people you care about

every nowing then

i will call you gungabelle. and the boy, gungabello. he will be a burden to you, but his simplemindedness will provide much needed levity

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm going to jump over you right now I'm going to leap over your head from a standing position do not move

when ed next takes to the stage - september 19th - he will execute phase II of his plan: self-immolation in solidarity with palestine. macklemore will return in phase III

ants be looking crazy when there sexed

NEW FROM NETFLIX: GUANTANAMO BABES ZERO DARK FLIRTY MKULTRADELUXE

rachel dolezal be like yeah, i'm thinking i'm black

you gotta break a few omelettes to make what I call Rudy's breakfast tornado

they should do outtakes for conversations where you get to say all the things you thought of but couldn't find an opening

my uterus operates on a first cum first served basis

INT: ROGER STERLING'S OFFICE - DAY ROGER: Think that hygienist'll let me jack off on laughing gas? I'm trying to jack off on every drug. JOAN: You've harassed me for the last time

no screens on this 9 hour flight

yes i do have to play my mobile game at full volume sitting next to you, paging doctor idiot they need more stupid questions on level two, get the fuck away from me

feeling terror