Jeske

Jeske

@diaryofcolours.bsky.social

She/her 🌿This was supposed to be an art page but it's currently more like a diary lmao Instagram.com/dwaal.spoor Patreon.com/diaryofcolours

81 followers21 following2.9K posts

When people ask me what I paint, I say landscapes or anything else inspired by nature. Open my sketchbook and you'll see I drew 20 Gen1 Pokémon today.

I am so ready to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind again, but I don't want to go through that hurricane of emotions alone. I will watch this movie again when I've met the right person to share my life with.

4 years ago I attempted following the book The Artist's Way because I felt creatively lost and I was hoping this book would help me find ways to get in touch with myself again. I found the diary I kept during the 4 weeks (of 12) before I abandoned the book. So I'm reading it all back now.

One thing had me wheezing: am exercise about writing down 'imaginary lives'. One of the imaginary lives I wrote down was to be a marathon runner. I don't remember writing this down. I was slowly getting into running back then.

There was also an exercise to write about 3 people who are "champions of my creative self" or something like that. Heartwarming to read about. 2/3 havent changed a bit and I'd write them down again within a heartbeat. 3rd is not in my life anymore, but I can tell I wrote from the bottom of my heart

Car therapy: staying in your seat after arriving home because there's an INSANELY good song on the radio. It's 9 minutes long and you dont want to skip it

Me: "I can't play guitar for shit" Also me: "Got 6 days to study on 2 songs so I can nail them for the lim show by the end of the week, I got this. And maybe I can do a lil extra."

There was a very brief moment in my dream that was so nice, I want to get back to it. Or maybe for it to happen irl but i dont think that interest is mutual

Two more races to go this year and honestly- I am a bit done with living from race to race, planning daily life around training sessions. I love running, I love noticing my progress. But it's been... A lot. 6/8 races done, so 2 more to go. I need a mental break.

Introduced myself to the new manager at work. Told him about my wish to get a degree in art as well some time. And that I am getting hungry for knowledge, learning new things, again. It was a really nice convo

Stuff to think about: am I disciplined or just strict to myself? I thought I was just disciplined, but a conversation I had today slightly opened my eyes to a different perspective...

New step in healing process: scrolling back through photos, seeing photos of ex and thinking: "Hm, it's like I'm looking at a stranger, I don't know them."

Set a new PR today: 53:22 on 10k Thank you, body, for carrying me through all these hours and miles of training. Thank you, mind and spirit, for keeping up with these challenges and dragging me through the hard moments again and again.

Jeske@diaryofcolours.bsky.social

Fun bike ride again today 💙 Tomorrow running again! A 10k race in my hometown 🔥

Saw a good lucking dude omw home, but a second look made me realize he just looked like my ex So that's a nope. Need to expand my 'things I find attractive'-palette.

Car is at the garage, so had to take the train to work again. Missed reading on the train. Should've brought 2 books with me. Finished the graphic novel I got in the mail yesterday already.

Shared a bike pic with a friend and she said im built like a brick shithouse 😎 Thats what I want. I want to look muscular. I want to be muscular.

Dreamt I was dating the frontman of a German folk band, but every time I introduced him to someone, he started looking more and more like my ex 💀

During races a lot of volunteers are helping out: handing out candy, bananas, water, sports drinks, medals, you name it. I make sure to thank every volunteer for THEIR hard work when they hand me something.

Sure, I cross the finish line after pushing my physical (and mental) limits, but... Without these volunteers the participants would be struggling even more. No water during the race, no electrolytes or carbs during the race, no recovery drinks afterwards.

I felt pretty fine after the race, but in the past hour a crushing exhaustion has been taking me over, my legs are getting sore and just wow I didn't feel this bad after the half marathon at the beach in -4 celcius last January

Race day, woke up with my knee feeling funky Time goal I set myself: 1:30:00 Watch prediction: 1:27:59 Let's see how I will crush Ten Miles today.

Me last week: "I bought a famcy, expensive bike. I can't buy any fun stuff anymore for the next month." Me today: "Ah yes, let's pre-order a book and order a new jacket online. Oh and I should get an extra set of cycling clothes"