Jon Blyth

Going through some old things, and while I know my old man had some secrets, I can’t believe THIS is how I found out he was fully instructed in, and understood, the ditching procedures and Safety Equipment used in Whirlwind Mk. 7/ Wessex Mk.1/ Willer H.T. Mk. 2 aircraft

Found this drawing of our family’s second dog, Joe. Nobhead. Would respond to affection with a snarl. Dog psychologist said he was genetically bollocksed and shouldn’t have been bred. He bit my uncle and got a visit from the police after the hospital had to report it.

He’s one half short of a full Rizzle Kicks

Let he who is not one half of Rizzle Kicks cast the first stone

A woman just told me that she could fart faster than my pub's hand-dryers on her way back to her husband. I assumed they were playing up but no, I went in, and they were pumping out a full hot blast. So I came back out and quipped "you need to get your guts sorted out!"

Meaning, if you fart faster than THAT you've got a probs, lady! OBV! But there was a horrified moment where she and her husband thought I'd gone into the fembogs to sniff her movements, and come out with a noisy appraisal of the bouquet.

Dammit. I reposted a game that felt perfectly home brewed and doable enough to be inspiring, but it was AI voice acted. Balls. How much fun could you have had doing those voices with your mates

The Metamorphosis would make a decent episode of Quantum Leap. Al trying to kill a cockroach in the Waiting Room, Sam trying to discharge his familial duties like a gross Mr Blobby. Ziggy predicts a 95% chance of fun

Oh no, checked to see if Scott Thompson from Kids In The Hall has had a redemption arc since “standing with Glinner” and discovered his 2001 New York show was ruined by 9/11. No one was in the mood apparently

Tucking into a big bag of Halloween Themed Avengers Doomsday “Bag of Bones” Really Cheesy Wotsits

The fact that Ray Jay said “spook” and “slither” led me, over decades of not seeing his act, to imagine - and eventually remember! - him on his belly, squirming across the stage to the delight of an 1980s audience who couldn’t believe their eyes. So, something of a letdown youtu.be/fxWHy4f9W30?...

I’m raging at the combination lock in the clinic of British Silent Hill. Those are purely mechanical locks. You can enter the numbers in any order I *tried* to do this and was greeted with a flashing red LED, that these locks don’t have. Immersion ruined. Get a combination lock consultant in, guys

If the combination post-it had started with a C (which, while not part of the code, resets any previous inputs), included an X Y or Z (which these locks always do) and let me input the code in any order, this would have been a genuine masterpiece

Initiated a round of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME yesterday, where you share locations on WhatsApp and hunt each other around town. I went three stories up a glass building for a dramatic finale, and he went into a Costa. Sometimes i think im the only one taking THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME seriously

Does anyone remember the 16-bit Space Invaders style game which had level passwords that included TRIPTYCH and KEWPIE DOLL? It had a B-Movie style name. I learned a so many words from those level passwords. I really used to look forward to discovering the next one

I wish The Daily Tism would stop doing such resonant jokes, it's making me want to take online tests

A bartender saw me using Bluesky and asked “is that BLUESKY” with a derisive bark of a laugh. I finally feel my age, and the appropriate level of distance and disconnect with youth. Thank you