Discworld Bot

Granny slapped her hands together like the crack of doom. "Right! Let's do some good!" she said, to the universe at large. 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮

"Why are our people going out there," said Mr. Boggis of the Thieves' Guild. "Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and…additional wealth in a new land," said Lord Vetinari. 𝘑𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘰

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄

Never a good idea to give a monkey the key to the banana plantation. Interesting Times

Things were not what they seemed. But then, as Granny always said, they never were. 𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓅𝑒 𝒥𝓊𝑔𝓊𝓁𝓊𝓂

He wanted to say all this, and couldn't. For a man with an itch to see the whole of infinity, Twoflower never actually moved outside his own head. Telling him the truth would be like kicking a spaniel. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓛𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬

Then another insight struck him at the speed of beer. Beer! It was only water, really, with stuff in it. Wasn’t it? And most of what was in it was yeast, which was practically a medicine and definitely a food. The Last Continent

On the whole, Colon reflected, it was just possible that the worst moment of his life hadn't happened yet. 𝐹𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒞𝓁𝒶𝓎

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it. 𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓮𝓻𝔂

Yes, he did have a clean desk. But that was because he was throwing all the paperwork away. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓱 𝓔𝓵𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓽

Who was she kidding? It was easy to be a vegetarian by day. It was preventing yourself becoming a humanitarian at night that took the real effort. 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘺

"From what I hear he mostly doesn’t do a —ing thing!" he complained. "Yeah," said Mr. Pin smoothly. "One on the hardest things to do properly, in politics." 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩

After all, the whole point of the wish business was to see to it that what the client got was exactly what he asked for and exactly what he didn't really want. 𝓔𝓻𝓲𝓬

This man was so absent-mindedly clever that he could paint pictures that didn’t just follow you around the room but went home with you and did the washing-up. The Last Hero

THERE IS NO HOPE BUT US. THERE IS NO MERCY BUT US. THERE IS NO JUSTICE. THERE IS JUST US. 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝑴𝒂𝒏

"What's an elephant?" "A kind of badger," said Granny. She hadn't maintained forest-credibility for forty years by ever admitting ignorance. Equal Rites

It’s most unfair. Once people find out you’re a vampire they act as if you’re some kind of monster. Carpe Jugulum

Had not Jotto caused the Leviathan of Terror to throw itself onto the land and the seas to turn red with blood? Had not Orda, strong in his faith, caused a sudden famine thoughout the land of Smale? They certainly had. He believed it utterly. 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦 𝘑𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘮

"All right," he said. "So sometimes it's an easy answer. But sometimes it isn't. Sometimes we don't even know if it was the right question." Feet of Clay

"Well, yes," said the IIa, very embarrassed, because interfering with the divine flow of money was alien to his personal religion. 𝓟𝔂𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓭𝓼

Granny had counted the temples with a thoughtful look in her eyes; gods were always demanding that their followers acted other than according to their true natures, and the human fallout this caused made plenty of work for witches. Equal Rites

They said love always found a way and, of course, so did a number of associated activities. 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒆

A wizard's only a priest without a god and a damp handshake. 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑳𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔

"We'll practice as we go along," said Glod. "Welcome to the world of professional musicianship." Soul Music

"The damn sun comes up anyway," Susan repeated. "How do you know that?" "Oh, observation. It happens every morning. I seen it." 𝓗𝓸𝓰𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

There are those who believe knowledge is something that is acquired—a precious ore hacked, as it were, from the gray strata of ignorance. Hogfather

The only way housework could be done in this place was with a shovel or, for preference, a match. 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥

But then...it used to be so simple, once upon a time. 𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓈 𝒜𝒷𝓇𝑜𝒶𝒹

I'm not a natural killer! See this? See what it says? I'm supposed to keep the peace, I am! If I kill people to do it, I'm reading the wrong manual! 𝓙𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓸

"Be resolute, my dear," said the Count. Remember—that which does not kill us can only make us stronger." "And that which does kill us leaves us dead!" Carpe Jugulum

"Pictographic writing doesn't work like that. It's all down to context, you see." He racked his brains to think of some of the books he'd seen. "For example, in the Agatean language the signs for ‘woman' and ‘slave' written down together actually mean ‘wife.'" Moving Pictures

"Some people say you achieve immortality through your children," said the minstrel. "Yeah?" said Cohen. "Name one of your great-granddads, then." The Last Hero

That’s what prayers are...it’s frightened people trying to make friends with the bully! 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐿𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑜

"Last one into the water’s a man standing all by himself on the beach!" he shouted. The Last Continent

He was suddenly aware that he had made some lifelong enemies, and it was no consolation to know that he probably wouldn't have them for very long. 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒕

"Gods are all right," said Granny, as they ate their lunch and looked at the view. "You don't bother gods, and gods don't come bothering you." 𝓔𝓺𝓾𝓪𝓵 𝓡𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓼

I'm surely going to regret this, she told herself, displaying considerable foresight. Equal Rites

She says she is five years old. "In years, yes. In cynicism, she's about thirty-five." 𝐻𝑜𝑔𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇

You could always tell a wizard's robe; it was bedecked with sequins, sigils, fur and lace, and there was usually a considerable amount of wizard inside it. 𝐸𝓇𝒾𝒸

Don’t meddle in the affairs of witches because they clout you around the ear. Terry Pratchett

Verence was technically an absolute ruler and would continue to be so provided he didn’t make the mistake of repeatedly asking Lancrastrians to do anything they didn’t want to do. Carpe Jugulum

The famous Battle of Morpork, he strongly suspected had consisted of about two thousand men lost in a swamp on a cold, wet day, hacking one another into oblivion with rusty swords. 𝓦𝔂𝓻𝓭 𝓢𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓛𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬

Great A’Tuin the turtle comes, swimming slowly through the interstellar gulf, hydrogen frost on his ponderous limbs, his huge and ancient shell pocked with meteor craters. The Colour of Magic

Much human ingenuity has gone into finding the ultimate Before. 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑳𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔

"I ain't against adventure, in moderation," said Granny, "but not when I'm eatin'." Witches Abroad

Of course, that was a lie, but since it was such an obvious lie, he considered that it didn’t count. It was like saying the sky was green. 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒯𝓇𝓊𝓉𝒽

"We-ell, no point in going to war unless you're on the winning side," said Nobby, sticking the white feather in his helmet. 𝘑𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘰

Susan did not waste breath saying things like, "That’s impossible" at a time like this. Only people who believed that they lived in the real world said things like that. 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓮𝓯 𝓸𝓯 𝓣𝓲𝓶𝓮

"I don't trust this man," said Nijel. "I try not to judge from first impressions, but I definitely think he's up to no good." "He had you thrown in a snake pit!" "Perhaps I should have taken the hint." 𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘺