Doug Brook

If at first you don't succeed, try playing right field instead.

TACO Tuesday. No surprise.

Happy Secular Tu B'Av (aka Valenstein's Day) to all who, through their support of Hallmark, won't sleep on the couch tonight.

When an Olympic curling team wins every contest, it's called a sweeping sweep.

Israel has its first ever Olympic bobsled team. I hereby dub them Shul Runnings.

me: Tu B'Shevat is Jewish Arbor Day, aka "New Years for Trees." student: Do we do anything to celebrate it? me: At midnight, we sing Auld Lang Pyne.

If tomorrow is Tu B'Shevat, today should be One B'Shevat.

Happy Two B'Shevat to all (two) of you who find this trèe amusant.

Today's winner of the internet is...

The most poignant interaction when we performed Faustus last month.

I hope all the players on Sacramento's NBA roster aren't taking today personally. #nokings @sacramentokings.bsky.social

Today's Rosh Hashanah service was rapturous. Does that count?

Of all the "how come I never thought of that" lines, this "how come I never thought of that"s the most.

Tomorrow will be another day. Someday.

This is the kind of thing that makes cooking too complicated for me.

I feel like my career in technical writing has led to this.

I try to not presume what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes. If I were to do so, I'd presume it's painful in unapparent ways with which I'm unfamiliar. Life lessons from wearing custom orthotics.

Up is the new down. Thank you for your inattention to this matter.

With apologies to my insurance carrier... survey: Can you describe what made your experience on our site easy today? me: Yes.

When I was young, ICE Capades were far more enjoyable than today’s version.

Happy U.S. Torah Day to all who celebrate. Today's 6/13. There are 613 mitzvot in the Torah. See? It's U.S.-specific because most of the world does dates differently, wherein today is 13/6. Unrelated, happy Friday the 13th.

I feel seen.

2025: where every day is TACO Tuesday

Dear Vatican, please please introduce the new pontiff with this Broadway hit: 🎶Pope-ular! You’re gonna be Pope-ular… 🎶

If Monday turns out really rough... May the fifth be with you.

Education in this country needs serious attention. Basic literacy skills are lost on too many students. Whether considered vandals or graffiti artists, they should know how to spell “meshuge” correctly.

Dylan's lost "Kidney Song" Well they'll stone you when you're trying to be so good; They'll stone you just like they said they would. They'll stone you when you're tryin' to go home; And they'll stone you when you're there all alone. But I would not feel so all alone Every kidney must get stoned!

Happy Current-Administration-And-Its-Supporters Day! #AprilFoolsDay

Casey Kasem just rickrolled me from the grave. Thanks, 103.7.

To all who attended Broadway San Jose this week, thank you for Cherring.

Not everything you read online is real. Including this post.

Too much in today's world is inexplicable. Three of the most baffling: • Icing in hockey • Offsides in soccer • Infield fly rule in baseball Neither science nor history will ever explain them.

...and with that resounding spring training victory, the Mets are now eliminated from postseason contention.

Getting old sucks. Now I know how my jokes feel.

Age will never catch up with me. Whats my secret? It’s been ahead of me the whole time.

Happy February 31st, everyone.

I might try subscribing to Time. Not the magazine. I just need more hours in a day.

I crane You crane We all crane for Ukraine (For those of you thinking that was a stretch... it was. Look it up.)

Yes, by declaring the next three days to be February 29th, 30th, and 31st, I'm extending the month we just experienced. However, my sense is we'll want as little of this March as we can get away with.

This would go on my living room wall.

My new brunch greeting: Mi mosa es su mosa.

Everything about this thread... How about "The El Camino"? bsky.app/profile/cree...

Shakespeare is not all Greek to me. Though there is Timon of Athens…

I can totally believe it's not butter. Sorry.

Breaking news: Punxsutawney Phil saw the news and said, "who gives a shit about a shadow?!?" and crawled back into his hole, for a lot more than six more weeks. A long line has formed to join him.

Admission to heaven is 90% determined by spelling and grammar.

"Gulf of America"? Whatever. It's just an inlet in the continent of North Canadico.

Ask not what 2025 can do for you. Ask what you can do for 2025.