Prof Shaw - The Math Prof Who Loves You

If I had a dollar for every time I wasn't able to do arithmetic under pressure, I'd have... I'd have... damn.

Time to tumble out of bed and pour a cup of ambition.

Very strange reading Viktor Frankl's Mans Search for Meaning, and during this period of my life seeing the last episode of The Amazing Digital Circus.

I got a $5 bill says that if Ukraine wins the war Trump takes credit.

Sometimes a guy is writing exams and wants to post cat pics. Do you have pets? Lemmee see. I don't like writing this exam.

Do you remember the way dialing phone numbers felt on your fingertips? Particularly the 9.

Every American needs to watch this:

Yeah, yeah, I'm posting a meme.

Sometimes I feel like a hobbit in LOTR. Not one of the four who had access to the big magic kill switch that would make the bad army go away. Like a 125 year old hobbit whose job it was to install pretty windows into hobbit holes and just saw everything going on and couldn't do much.

Reformed January 6th participant (who refused a pardon): “You can't gaslight me. I was there. I saw the officers being pepper sprayed. I watched one of them fall down and hit his head and his back. So don't be telling me it wasn't violent.”

I can't even.

I'm not religious. So this is weird: Couple next to me are talking about shoes. The woman keeps going on about which is more important to her this kind of sole or that kind of sole. All I want to do is say "maybe you should give more thought to your most important sole, your immortal soul."

What happens in the black hole STAYS in the black hole.

She was in her late 20s, speaking to a customer. I didn't hear what he said. She said, "Serious as a heart attack." From body language I gathered she was giving him some good news, and he said something like, "Seriously?" I like it when people in their 20s use old tymey phrases.

Rewatching The Suicide Squad while doing household tasks. I remembered it as being good - it is better than I remembered. It is excellent.

Special for this week only (Nov 6 - 13), and only for fellow liberals! If you follow my account this week, I will give you a free pass on one anti-Semitic statement! People under 20 get two! First time followers only, not valid in Texas.

Just heard this - if Democratic Party leadership found a magic lamp, and was granted three wishes, they'd negotiate down to one, and then use that wish for something they thought Republicans would like.

Question for experienced, successful teachers: Over your career, have you: a) Become a good teacher b) Become good at convincing your students you are a good teacher c) Become good at convincing yourself you are a good teacher I'm doubting my default answer today.

"So I dated this guy who claimed to have been a contortionist." "Were you impressed?" "Nah, not the flex he thought it was"

Thanks to the wonders of voice recognition, I have now texted a friend and told her that the gaps in my tiles have now been filled in with cock

This is a weird way to end cancel culture!

If you can't name the speaker of the Minnesota House nor the Minnesota Senator that were shot dead, then you can shut up about Charlie Kirk.

“Why do you always charge your expense account to the maximum?” “Carpe per diem.”

SERVER: Coffee or Tea? ME: Coffee SERVER: One coffee. Do you take cream? ME: No, thank you. SERVER: No worries. Umm... "No worries?" I wasn't apologizing. I wasn't worried. I wasn't a teeny bit worried. I had less worry than the Libertarian Party has backbone. Nothing. But now I'm kinda worried.

There is some distortion here - I was very close when I took the picture. The Octosaurus (orange) is NOT this much of a behemoth. But he and Ethan (gray) are officially "we can share the cat tree" friends.

Here's my take on "nature" vs. "nurture." Some were hurt very badly early in life, and some weren't. Being hurt when growing up affects your personality. That's "nurture." Some become adults who now want to hurt others. And some become adults who are terrified of hurting others. That's "nature"

My favorite version of the trolley problem: A trolley is headed to kill 10 people. If you pull the lever, it goes to another track and everyone lives. BUT a cat is sleeping on the lever and you will disturb her if you pull the lever. What do you do?

When I am old, I will… Oh. Damn.

I just realized it would be great to create a famous recipe for eggplant-peach cobbler because of the hilarious misunderstandings when someone made one and tried to convey it with emojis.

Rye!

International cat day!

60% of Canadians live south of Seattle

Have you ever said to someone, "You know the definition of insanity, right?" and completed the cliche? Have you said it more than once? Has it ever helped a situation? And yet do you continue to say it?

And now… the 1850s LORD: I ahhm paaaaaaarched. LADY: That is because instead of drinking water, you have been eating paper. LORD: But the label said it was paaaaarchment paper!

I’m about to feast on ribs. On happiness I have the dibs.

I love that my MMSS class of international mathematically inclined high school students are calling each other “Bro!” when they get excited

When a primary election is decided by ranked choice voting and they have to go to a second round, they should call it a secondary.

Season one episode nine of severance is amazing

I am good at teaching Graph Theory to high school students in the MMSS program.

FFS. The fuckers did it.

I want to see a comedy like murder by death. Someone is dead and it's such a mystery they call Sherlock Holmes. It's such a big mystery they call ALL of them. And all the actors who are still alive that have played Sherlock Holmes or his clones are in it and they all try to solve the murder first.

Is it too soon for Kool-Aid to adopt the slogan, "Drink the Kool-Aid!" Yes? Another few years maybe?

When I'm an old man I will... oh damn.

As of now, Tom Arnold has a lower average distance from every other actor then Mel Gibson. (Source: center of the Hollywood universe, reachable from the Oracle of Bacon website)

I mean this is a terribly named product. Can't your name ANY product "non-aspirin", except of course for aspirin? I mean I can manufacture a line of Allen wrenches branded "non-aspirin."

One-celled organisms call one-celled organisms "organisms" and other organisms "two-or-more-celled organisms."

Voice recognition thought my name was drug shop