Damion Meyer

I know I'm not as prolific a writer as many of you, but I do have a couple of short stories:

Depressing how many of my student essays have titles with underscores instead of spaces

Amazon Prime has The Lost Boys listed under Comedy Movies, and I'm not sure how to handle that level of disrespect

Fazolis has better breadsticks than Olive Garden

Watching the Nebraska game thinking about all the irate gamblers right now

Finally watched Cabin in the Woods, and it's pretty damn awesome.

Wordle 1,932 4/6* ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 So annoying

Nebraska won, but South Carolina lost, so i have to pretend to be sad when I go to class Monday

Okay, so I really didn't want to "back in my day" this shit, but when the hell did a single quarter pounder with cheese go to over six dollars FOR JUST THE SANDWICH?

I was talking movies with a friend and the conversation turned to Zack Snyder doing a new Escape from NY. My friend said no one should ever remake any of Carpenter's films, that originals are always going to be better. I didn't say anything about The Thing lol

Saying they voted for him solely because of economics has a real "30 pieces of silver" feel to it

So I only just realized today that Slade Wilson's name is a pun, and i don't know what I'm doing in life

When you're rewatching Breaking Bad with someone who's never seen it, you get to the season 3 finale, and she says, "I love that guy, I'm glad they brought him back."

All movies are time travel movies

When someone says they prefer pan and scan to widescreen because they "don't like when it's stretched out across the screen"

Weren't Skechers originally like really cheap and poor quality? When did they become more expensive than some Nikes?

Imagine if Judgement Day in the Terminator movies was caused by Skynet being no different from current AIs and just hallucinating the world into a nuclear war

Hey Bank of America, it's not really any of your fucking business www.gamespot.com/articles/gta...

My android auto updated to use Gemini, and now it's asking me clarifying questions like we're having a conversation. Like just let me ask about historical tax expectations for circus workers and be done got damn

Only just realized Bank of America's initials are the word "boa," which, holy shit, makes perfect fucking sense

You know what's weird? Trump was right when he said if I vote for Harris, the US would go to war. Well, I voted for her and here we are

Imagine if a TV show parodied Trump by just making him act completely normal and unproblematic, with strong values and good policies. He would lose his fucking mind if he saw that

Annoyed by ads for the new Marathon game "from the creators of Halo." NO. Halo came from the creators of MARATHON. Marathon was the progenitor at Bungie. Master Chief wishes he was the security officer from Marathon. Cortana wishes she was Durandal. Your Marathon is not the same as my Marathon.

Just got a second subscriber to my YouTube "channel" that has never had a single video posted. Like do they know something I don't?

When I was growing up Starz was the channel that had the absolute newest movies after they'd left theaters. They had stuff even before HBO. When did it become...what it is?

Looking back at some of my flash fiction submissions, and I see that three lit mags that I sent a specific combination of four flash pieces are all now defunct. So, if anyone has a grudge against a publication, let me know, because I apparently have a scythe in my "completed" folder

Played spades with a guy in the Army and called him a cheater. He threatened to knock my teeth out and told me to go learn how to play. I've since played literally thousands of hands of spades against IRL players, online opponents, or computers. And I can say now: He definitely fucking cheated

Me and my friends at 15: If you're talented and famous, you'll probably die at 27 Me, still breathing at 45:

Soooooo, my A1C six months later is 5.4. And anything under 5.6 is "normal." So I was absolutely diabetic, but now I'm...not? Why do I feel like I'm being punked

More and more, i'm convinced reality is a simulation. Ever heard of the movie Steel Dawn with Patrick Swayze? Yeah, NO ONE has but me. And it popped in my head a whole back, making me think about trying to find it once a week or so. Well I just signed up for Starz, and guess what is on there? Yeah.

Just played the funniest round of spades. My partner and I both bid nil, and our opponents bid 10 between them, with 8 sandbags already in their pocket. I hit my nil, but my partner took a trick. And the opponents took two sandbags, so everyone just ended up scoring zero

Imperial officer: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion--" Vader: "Motherfucker, the Jedi were in partial control of the whole galaxy TWENTY YEARS AGO. You're like 40? So the people practicing this 'ancient religion' were still around for literally HALF YOUR LIFE."

I hate the phrase "encouragement sandwich" and other phrases using "_____ sandwich" in the same way, because they all treat the _____ as the bread, when a real sandwich is about what's in the middle. You don't call a piece of baloney between two pieces of bread a bread sandwich, do you?

Oh, so the rapture is supposed to happen today, I guess? Honestly, I hope it does. Maybe some really annoying people could get sucked up into the sky

It me

No, just no. Bad AI! Very bad AI!

Joseph McNeil was one of four students who staged a sit-in at a segregated Woolworth’s lunch counter in Greensboro, North Carolina, in 1960. They ignited one of the U.S. most consequential student protest movements. From left, Joseph McNeil, Franklin McCain, Billy Smith and Clarence Henderson.

If you see this, QTP with a title screen that's iconic to you!

Lies? Kennedy?

That moment you think you have an actual unique story idea, but you can't ask anyone if they've heard of similar stories for fear they'll steal your idea

Remember when old TVs and CRT monitors had that high pitched whine when they were turned on? I could tell a TV was on from the next room with the sound muted

Remember when you could dial your own phone number from your landline phone and hang up, and then it would ring, and two people who picked up the phone at the same time could talk to each other?

A student told me he needs to be absent from a class to attend an Air National Guard "super drill." I wondered what makes it a super drill and it turns out it's any drill that is longer than 2 days. Me, who never had a regular Army National Guard drill last fewer than 3:

Name a non LOTR character who could resist the one ring.

I asked my three year old what he wants to be when he grows up, and he said "Batman." So I cancelled our movie tickets for tonight.

I'm amused by people who need constant distraction because they're afraid to be alone with their thoughts. My thoughts are afraid to be alone with me

The Wild Robot on Netflix had absolutely NO RIGHT to fucking destroy me like that

I was thinking of visiting the border of Spain and France, but I'll have to do it when it's overcast, as I'm kind of pale. No basqueing in the sun for me

Let the heads fall where they may. That's the saying, right?