god's favorite goblin

made my boyfriend watch homestarrunner (which used to watch as a kiddo) he laughed at every joke, he must really love me because that shit is dumb as hell 😭

if i was gettin takin' out by a drone, im throwin' up a 6-7 before I go

there are two dogs in me and they both barkin to the goosebump theme song

captians log 🦜🏴‍☠️ arrrggg me sick of me girrrlfriend callin me pegleg when we be fighting

ending generational trauma by putting out my vape on my son instead of a cigarette ❤️

thinking about turning the three Minions i kidnapped into a nice leather coat

just cried for 20 minutes about accidentally killing the spider living in my room

3 girls 2 cups this could be big

if you're fucking racist. i gotta sandwhich for you hope u like knuckles, because i ordered extra for you, and i double checked with the drive through employee and they said they didnt forget to add extra knuckles so you're in big trouble buddy

big meaty claws

no way this guys name is steve sandwich

girlfriend made me change because i swag gapped too hard 😕

can i get jr baconator? you mean "the son of the baconator?" ok sure wendys guy.

they should make an episode of xmen with gambit and magneto make out sloppy style

im so fucking yeehaw

Moss Sporophyte. #sbgphotography #photography #macro #fountain

up in the fancy ass french restaurant blastin' ass with my hot girlfriend

only squeak when squoken to

who up drakin' they josh

she put her cold ass feet on my penis now thats some icy hot 🥶🥵

3 girls 2 cups this could be big

last name dumbest first name ever

the cuck chair wasn't made for two

if you didnt want to be sewn to my jacket, you shouldn't have been as cute as a button

minecraft youtubers in the Cars universe be like: responding to the vrooming allegations

playing pokemon together is my love language

they hit the second ear

what if we built our bases next to each other in the pokemon diamond underground

you either die a smart fella or live long enough to see yourself become a fart smella

i frew up

just downed a margarita pizza we gettin' tipsy af tn

snagged some cool moss and lichen feel free to appreciate

you're laughing a rattata died on route 1 and ur laughing

paw patrol except they arent cops and they are also rats

everyday im shufflin

im like if redfoo got turned into a mouse and then turned into a goblin

only squeak when squoken to

the cheese is gone but the legend lives on

were back to calling vomit "Throw up" . like "look at that pile of throw up over there" or " my ass is covered in throw up"

the plot chickens

it makes me physically ill everytime i think about how fucking beautiful my girlfriend is

ladies and gentlemen this is your rat'ptain squeaking 🐀🛬

jon lennon said this to me one time

imagine a rat imagine that

thinking about making the thin hamster

why must love hurt me so

ghoulfriend is coming over so i have to change my underwear 😮‍💨

workin' on the squeakend like usual 🐀

lets cut to the cheese

rats together strong