honor sachs

We are totally in hell. I’ve gone totally in-class writing this semester and it’s been great. But . . . I only have 35 students. I can manage it. Next semester will be over 100. I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do.

It was either write my syllabus or Jesus Built My Hotrod…

Grading headache.

A healthy bout of food poisoning last night. Brutal. Sachs out.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There’s a difference between being divided and BEING divided.

This really should be much bigger news.

The optics of this are mind-blowing.

This is literally just South Park.

“See Rocky IV and the American Revolution” would be an amazing citation if it weren’t also objectively bananas.

How is it that a sitting president wages a pointless war against a country, invites said country to bomb US cities, and still remains a sitting president?

Holy shit.

The sooner we kill the endless public discourse on masculinity the better. It’s a fucking cancer.

Grew glass gem corn for the first time this year. 10/10 did not disappoint. Much more to harvest still but it’s not quite ready yet. Plan is to dry it into popcorn. So beautiful 😍🌽

Just bought sweatpants from Costco. This feels like the final stage of ego release.

I hear in SoHo they’re selling rye bread for $60 a loaf and cutting boards for $180. I made both rye and board. Should I quit my day job? #YeastMasters

TikTok is the only algorithm that really gets me and consistently delivers the content I want. TikTok understands that what I really want to see is people making eggs and omelettes in nice carbon steel pans.

Me, from the audience: “YOUR KETTLEBELL SWING IS ASS.”

All I want to do is write my book, walk my dog, lift weights, and eat bread.

I’m sorry, but it’s not enough to just “the PatRiArchY” is why this happens. I want specifics. I want to know what podcasts these little pricks listen to. Show me their browser histories, their subreddits, their idiotic online footprints. We need to know how monsters are made.

One of the main reasons fraternities still exist is that membership signals to potential employers that you’re capable of keeping institutional secrets, even when it means covering up illegal behavior.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if young men thought, “being a piece of shit morally depraved dirtbag will ruin my life,” rather than “getting caught being a piece of shit morally depraved dirtbag will ruin my life”?

Big gratitude to these student journalists, who are largely responsible for turning this into a national conversation. You are doing great work.

How long before the Cornell 7 are scooped up for positions in the Trump administration?

Maybe don’t tell women that they need to be nicer to men because they’re lonely and it’s a “crisis” that women need to fix or else men will commit horrible acts of violence against them. Maybe shut the fuck up instead. No, definitely shut right the fuck up immediately.

Anybody have a couple grand to give me so I can see Metallica at the Sphere in Las Vegas? Also, how is this real? Even the cheap seats are over $1500.

My god everything is so bad and it just keeps getting worse.

For absolutely no reason whatsoever: last night I made a salad with peaches, tomatoes, corn, and scallions with a dressing of white wine vinegar, maple syrup, fish sauce, and olive oil . . . and I can't stop thinking about how good it was.

😂 omg it was Choplifter! I couldn’t remember the name. Totally Choplifter. It’s the only reason I know what the word “sortie” means 😂

👀

Apparently, we’ve reached the “Trump TV” stage of fascism, for those keeping score at home.

Blood-soaked killing fields???

Constitutional amendment to require future presidents be able to pass the marshmallow test.

“Sir, I’m already hot.”

Uh, so, what are your favorite recipes for cauliflower?

I mean, I know it’s a pointless thought experiment because moral equivalency is dead and nothing matters anymore and we’re literally drowning in a sea of corruption, but imagine if a Russian oligarch paid for Hunter Biden’s luxury wedding. While Biden was president. Imagine.

If someone could figure out how to monetize not being shitty humans, they’d really be doing us all a solid.

I can’t tell you how many times a day I think to myself: I am so glad I got to live a good chunk of my life without cell phones.

My entire feed this morning has been about men harassing female athletes, men harassing women online, fraternities treating women like garbage. It’s depressing and gross. Get your shit together, guys.