Duchess of BoooOoOo-Ope 🎃 👻

FISH STICK MAN 4EVA

Can’t decide if this is a NICE sign for the beginning of the week, or just a sign that I’m still a teenage boy even if I’ll be 47 on Thursday 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ummm. If I cause the death someone under my supervision, why don’t I get 1.3 mil? Oh that’s right, because it’s manslaughter. WHICH IS A CRIME. Unlike idk, being undocumented in the US. Which is merely a civil offense.

@schatzipage.bsky.social happiest of birthdays my fellow….almost Scorpio.

Never forget

As a person who is predominantly a democratic socialist, I can’t believe I’m agreeing with him. Pitter patter, JD.

can a human become a brony

Sounds like Angel Reese is doin her thing and doin it well. We love to see it. Get em, Bayou Barbie 😍

There’s a bakery/coffee/beverage place on my way to the office called Rockman and I dig the cut of their jib

I am thrilled to report that it is finally SOUP SZN here in Texas.

Just read a NYT wirecutter rec for strikeplates. Do….do people not have them? I don’t think I have ever lived in any building or house that didn’t have them in all the doors. And one building I lived in was around 80 or 90 years old.

I finally sold my Hjalmarsson road white for a decent price. Sigh.

I miss the (DeBrin)Cat

Hockey Jesus™️ saw that, Tage Thompson

MAGA wants to deport anyone who overstayed a student visa. Their favorite billionaire reportedly did exactly that.

I guess I didn’t know and I shouldn’t be surprised, but Kimberly Guilfoyle was an ambassador to an EU country? I realize Greece isn’t exactly the strongest country, but ARE YOU FCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? I could be a better ambassador to Greece than that oxygen thief

Thanks for burnin the trash for us, Kacey. Ella Langley’s music sucks ass.

But also… The Chain of Fools

Sugar, we’re going down with the sickness (I’m so proud of myself for this one, so if you all don’t congratulate me I might cry)

Because the lawmakers in my state are all petroleum and oil industry prison bitches?

Statistics and hockey?

An NHL team still employs Tony D’Angelo? Y tho?

FFS UT. You had one job.

I just watched a reel where some twat implied that the likeness of Paul Newman on Newman’s Own salad dressing looks like Epstein and I feel violent now, even though my coffee has not yet kicked in.

The bebe Stars play this at every home game in the 3rd period. And everyone sings along

Hot damn I love these Jets sweaters

I’ve been cleaning out my Gmail inbox while watching a city council work session and some of you degens have been subject to my bullshit for at least 10 years. I apologize for NOTHING

To the lady in the back with the “lower prices” sign: NUKING THE PORT OF LONG BEACH ISNT GOING TO HELP WITH THAT

Speaking of rotting in hell, Jim Bakker: bye, b&tch

It’s 67° outside and I feel slightly chilly and I’m so happy I could cry

never the wrong time for this classic

As a kid raised in Yorkville and Sugar Grove Hastert: bye b$tch

I’m suspicious, but it almost feels like fall here. But is it really?

On the other main stage, I am meeting my requirement of playing Hot Fuss at least once a week. Thanks, Brandon Flowers

There is someone in the crowd at #ACL waving a “bring back the old four loko” flag No. I was there when the dark magic was written. You don’t understand what you’re asking for

ORRRRR, they could pay it out of their budget. Or pensions. I don’t understand why tax payers have to keep funding settlements for shitty cops. Who are essentially abusing the same tax payers.

I’ve been wondering that if most Americans weren’t so totally weird and puritanical about sex and sex education, would awful situations (like this poor woman being gang raped at Cornell) happen a lot less often?

In case you needed more reasons to think the death penalty needs to be abolished

I didn’t even realize Pat Boone was still alive. Which means we can tell Mr Cultural Appropriation to fck all the way off

Something remarkable is happening: James Talarico is running an expansively pro-immigrant campaign in Texas, a state Trump won by 14 points, speaking in Biblical terms about our duty to "the stranger." And it's resonating. That's seismic. 1/ (new piece) newrepublic.com/article/2160...

Is he sure it wasn’t because he himself is godawful and a corrupt criminal?

Are you fcking kidding me right now, @cornelluniversity.bsky.social

Happy “inexplicably over-entitled Leafs fans losing their shit on social media” season to all who celebrate

You have been blessed by the friend onion :).

Attention #TeamSoup. I can’t make this quite yet, because it’s still close to 100° here every day but I present to you this recipe

I am once again putting this out there: I am willing to marry ANY Canadian citizen (male or female) for universal healthcare, less unhinged government, better access to ice hockey, and also so I can watch Yaga when it premieres on Crave next month.

Insulin, epi pens, certain types of cardiac meds, this happens all the time. It boggles my mind that insurance companies keep making it harder for people to get meds they need to NOT DIE

Pretty amazing how songs that suck shit stay in the sales charts for so long

“A short chase ensued”? What kind of chase? It wasn’t on foot. He got side swiped by an unmarked vehicle driving aggressively while he was working. If he moved his car at all, it was probably to get out of traffic, you dipshits. Stop doing the heavy lifting of lies for ICE, NYT.

I think I’m going to try out being a Habs fan this season. Allons-y baby!